Hi Sarah,
You mentioning the tree has brought back memories of a tree mum had and goodness knows how long she had it. It was a yellow rose large bush well more of a tree with the most beautiful roses on it. I wanted to dig it up when I sold the house but it was so rooted it was too difficult. I took loads of cuttings from it but sadly none seemed to grow. I have a few left but they don’t look as though they will grow.
Once you make a decision about the house things will fall into place.
It really was the last thing I wanted to do with my s house and believe me when I say I did everything to put buyers off when they viewed. But now a year on to the month I could it I can only say it was the best thing. It was my childhood home and it was traumatic but at the time losing mum was traumatic so it was just all another traumatic thing.
I don t know how I got through it really but being on that awful treadmill of gut wrenching grief at the time it all happy and seems a blur now . Kate also went through it at the same time as me so for me that helped as I could pester Kate with questions and didn’t feel so alone. Helen is going through it right now so she will understand. Any help or questions you need to know just. Between us we should be able to answer anything as we learnt so much along the way.
I laughed when you said about your mum working in a school. So funny.
Lovely to hear from you anyway. Shame you can’t come to Manchester but hopefully we can have a meet up in South Wales before the end of the year.
My son lives in Cardiff now so I am planning to visit and explore the area more. Will let you know when I am up there.
Love Deb x
Hi Kate,
Hope you are ok today ?
I did the football trips once upon a time but it didn’t last long with Glyn. Freezing cold pitches and washing kits were things I absolutely loved. Not!!!
I think I mentioned in my post last night that I hadn’t any signs for ages. Well as you know almost all of my signs have been electrical or to do with lights. Last night my boiler just stopped. I have been saying for days and days here why doesn’t she send me a sign. I dont know if I am losing it but now this has happened. It’s never happened before. Do no heating or hot water here and the plumber can’t come out to look at it for at least a week. I really hope it’s mum messing about and it works soon. Will try it again later.
Take your time sorting your mum’s things. It definitely has got a tiny bit easier for me . Gosh did I just say that?
Still got wardrobes full of her clothes though as they were M and S stuff that fit me. I need to get past keeping them just because they were mums and just keep the things that fit and suit me. I know mum would screech with laughter if she saw me wearing some of them lol and would say to send to the charity shop.
I find M and S so triggering because she loved that shop. She would honest have lived in it had she had the chance lol. She used to say "That’s my shop " and she would be gone like a whippet.
I remember taking her to Thailand and the first thing she wanted to do was to find the M and S as she had read somewhere there was one in Bangkok or somewhere. Anyway after getting various modes of transport including a rickshaw we eventually found it and she was in her element. However wait for it she wouldn’t buy anything as she said she wanted to wait until she got home to buy it at her local store to support her home town. But she talked about her trip there for years so it was worth it.
Whenever we feel really down we have to think back to the lovely times we had and cling into our memories even more.
I really agree with you because I too wish I could be more like my mum.
Anyway cant wait to see you.
Deb x
Hi Deb
Aww Mum also loved M&S and when I was younger I remember coming over for long weekends and going shopping with mum there and taking at least 10 items into the changing room at a time whilst she patiently waited on the couch outside giving her advice on the various outfits.
She also loved the food hall and we couldn’t pop to marks without her saying she needed something from the food hall. Their chicken and leek bakes were mum’s favourites. She always bought me this lovely raspberry dessert with fresh cream which I loved and fresh cream meringue nests.
I will be definitely going into the Manchester one though I know it will be triggering for me.
I also had a sign some weeks ago to do with lights. Valerio said that mum’s bedroom light was strangely on in the night ( he could see it under the door), did we forget to turn it off? 
apparently he switched it off without saying anything. The next day I went in to get something out of the wardrobe and just as I was about to leave the room the light bulb blew with a bang even though the light wasn’t on. It seems a strange coincidence…
Looking forward to seeing you too. We will all have so much to tell each other.
How is everyone else?
I’m off to bed now as I’m still feeling under the weather.
Hugs,
K xxx
Hi @Kate111 i aupaired in oz, germany but mainly sweden - yes i speak swedish. When i rang mum to say i was back from oz, she said ‘well don’t unpack I’ve got you a job in Sweden- u did want to go there didn’t you’. The swedes tried to come to mum’s funeral but couldn’t make the logistics work. They might not be blood but they are family. It’s funny how things work out after the funeral family have
been no where to be seen - apart from1 of her cousins who i was always close to. Mum friends and neighbours do check in to see if I’m ok.
Hi Kate,
Oh my gosh. That’s definitely definitely a sign from your mum. It really is.
Do you remember me telling you the same thing happened to me during the first week mum passed?
On the particular night I had the worst bout of grief ever. I just wanted to join mum, said my life was over and I wanted to go with her. I remember sitting in mum’s house pleading with Paul to believe me bec I was serious. He got really upset and I have never seen him so upset . I went up to bed . We were in mum’s house. After a while Paul came up and asked me if I wanted a cuppa. It was approx midnight.
I started sobbing do much I was almost having an asthma attack and he rushed downstairs to get me a drink of water. He put the landing light on and as he passed directly under the light fitting on the ceiling it just banged and the bulb burst and just missed him. I jumped out of bed in shock. The landing was in darkness so Paul said he would look for a new bulb in the morning so we left it at that. It completely pulled me to my senses. In the morning Paul checked and couldn’t believe what he saw. The whole light fitting in the ceiling has exploded somehow and had to be totally replaced… He used to be a health and safety officer for buildings and said in his whole career he had never seen that happen before. I am sure to this day that It was a sign from mum and if she was saying ok Deb that’s more than enough stop talking like that right now. What else could It have been ?
It was the same week we had had the oven light stop working , the bulbs in several lamps stopped working, mobile phone lights stopped working ,a diffuser light stopped working and when replaced with a brand new one bought that day stopped working again the following day.
Today Paul was rebuilding an area of the garden brickwork and it was in a secluded part of the garden where he worked yesterday and cleared it so there was nothing on the ground . Today there was a white feather there. All last week I have been saying I haven’t seen signs for ages then this today.
I have had a string of fairy lights that came on in the middle of the night in my bedroom and the tap in the cloakroom downstairs came in in the middle of the night a few months ago. No one had used it . And we pass the cloakroom to go upstairs so would have heard it. Glyn heard it so got up to see what the noise was and couldn’t believe it.
It was your mum sending you a sign because you have been feeling very low recently.
I am fascinated by the whole thing. And the same happened to you as me. So what are the odds of that happening? Got to be a sign.
Anyway I have had a look at trains. I need to travel on the Fri as otherwise in the sat I have to change a few times and get a coach as part of the train journey. If I travel on Fri I don’t even change once. Well that’s the plan at the mo. But things may change as it’s my birthday on the 19th and we may be away just before the Manchester trip so I could go straight from wherever I will be at.
All depends on a few things at the mo . One being we have no heating or hot water as our boiler packed in. Can’t get anyone to fix it til next week so that messes me up with going away . I will still be going to Manchester though. Will sort it all out next week when I know what’s happening.
I saw The Park by Radisson Hotel looked good. Has a swimming pool spa etc. it’s very central . There are lots of others too.
Deb x
Hi Sarah,
I found that before mum’s funeral I had people asking all sorts,text messages galore wanting to know stupid details, messages ,phone calls etc. It was like the whole world and it’s neighbours wanted to know everything that was going on.Then after her funeral like a tap turning off it all stopped. I haven’t heard from several people who I thought I would hear from and I have found it’s always me who makes the effort to contact certain people. Then when I do no one asks about mum. They assume I am ok also. It’s so annoying.
What a wonderful job you had. So rewarding. Do you do the same type of job now ?
Your mum sounds as though she was a wonderful organiser.
It’s so lovely to read about what you share about your mum. Well done for posting about her. It’s a big step and we were the same in the beginning.
It was very difficult in the beginning posting about my mum but now I feel I want to as everyone in our group totally understands. It helps me.
Deb x
Hi everyone, I’m back from Barcelona! Soo looking forward to our meet up on 22nd March. I can focus on this now my other trip is done. I will be staying with you on 22nd March for one night. I’m looking at hotels now. A couple of questions:
Can I ask about budget? Do you want cheap and cheerful or a bit more upmarket? What sort of price range are you thinking? It’s only one night for me so price isn’t really an issue (within reason)
Also, would you like me to book an afternoon tea (it’s about £30) for the Saturday afternoon or do you just want to find a cafe or pub? I’m easy but just want your thoughts
Can’t wait! Hxxx
Hiya Helen.
So glad you had a lovely time.
Am looking forward to seeing you too.
It looks like I will be travelling up in the Fri and returning on the Monday so as it’s 3 nights I can’t really afford a very expensive place. I saw The Park Radisson Blu and it looked lovely but not sure if that’s near the shopping centre. It’s got a pool and spa which would be a nice treat if we have time.
Do you know of anywhere very close to the shopping precinct.
Deb
Helen,
I don’t mind what or where we eat. A pub meal is fine. Then we can stay and have a drink afterwards. I am easy going though so don’t mind if you and Kate want an afternoon tea.
Deb x
@seychelles mum was definitely an organiser which at times could feel bullying but she always meant well. Au pairing isn’t really a job i got £50 a week plus lodgings for child care, cleaning etc it’s a good wayof earning money while travelling. I always thought I’d work with children or animals but ended up in local government- the young me would hate that i work in an office (or since covid at home - an unexpected bleasing). The dilemma of should i buy mum’s house is ongoing but I’m taking a few days off from thinking about it as spent most of last week dealing with estate agents and council tax. Haven’t given up on Manchester just can’t due to boyfs work commitments and how i might feel as mum died 21 march last year. On other hand never been to Manchester and might be nice to be with people who understand- I’m really not good at making decisions, never been!!!
Hiya Sarah,
I think I had 6 months or maybe longer free council tax for my mum’s house. I sold it just in time before the council tax doubled as it was classed as a 2nd home. Paying the Capital Gains tax was something I didn’t realise I had to pay but thankfully an accountant sorted it for me and got it reduced. Sharing mum’s estate as I was the executor was so upsetting but I managed to get through it. I have a brother and sister but they live in London and Portsmouth so they left everything to me. In fairness everything event smoothly but it was traumatic for me.
My mum lived in Carmarthen and I now find I have not only lost my childhood home but also my childhood town. No longer have any relatives there so it’s so upsetting travelling through the town. I live 35 miles away and it’s so strange not going to Carmarthen so often.
You are more than welcome to join us in Manchester. But we understand how difficult it is for you on that date.
If you do decide just let us know even if it’s last minute. See how you feel nearer the time.
Debx
@seychelles i like you had the 6 month exemption on council tax and yes it’s now considered a 2nd home. They told me take the beds out and it will be exempt again as it would be classed as uninhabitable. very confusing but if those are the rules i can do that. trying to explain it to my sister who live’s in england where there are different rules is an added stress. Initially the wouldn’t talk to me as the account was in her name but she handed me the bill, some cash and told me to deal with it. My sis refers to losing her connection to wales if we sell - hello Me I’m still here!
Hi Girls
Helen hope you had a great time.
I’m easy regarding the food. Either pub lunch or afternoon tea I don’t mind. Regarding the budget, I’m ok for £200-300 for the 2 nights. I can see most of the hotels are priced like that.
The important thing is that it’s really central as Deb said, near the shopping centre lol.
Sarah it would be great if you could join us.
Well done on speaking Swedish, I know it’s a difficult language to learn!
Deb reading about all your signs is fascinating. I remember them well.
Just a quick message as I’m off to work.
Catch you all later.
Have a good day ladies!
Love K xxxx
Hi girls, I’ve been having a look at hotels. Deb, the Park Radisson Blu I can see is at the airport which wouldn’t be suitable. I’ve based my search around £100 per night and have found these which are closer to the shopping area…
Bear with me…
it’s not letting me send the screen shots
Hotel Manchester deansgate
Moxy Manchester
Manchester City (Piccadilly)
Mercure Piccadilly
They are all pretty central. There’s also a couple of premier inns too if you prefer. Have a look and see what you think? I’m happy with any of those. What time do you need to be at the airport on Monday Kate? Xx
Hi Lucy, I’m so looking forward to meeting you on 22nd. I’m working out a (very loose) itinerary. What time do you get to Manchester and need to leave by? Hxxx
Sorry, the top one on my hotel list should read ‘YOTEL’ Manchester deansgate. It auto-corrected. It’s about 15-20 minute walk from Piccadilly station. (You can always get the tram to Piccadilly station) Closer to Victoria station and the shops. This is possibly my favourite of the ones but I’m really easy going. It’s about seeing you guys not the accommodation 
Hi Sarah,
Yes that’s the same that happened to me I seem to remember. Yes I had a year. Don’t think I took the beds out though. Probably should have. Daft really bec you can put an airbed there if you needed to stay there.
Neither my sister or my brother came to help me with anything . Left it all to me but I am glad because it was me that was the one who did everything for mum and with her when she bought everything for the house. It was probably best I was the one who cleared it as I took my time looking through every item and wasn’t rushed.
All the paperwork and procedures to go through are upsetting but unfortunately has to be done. I used to do one thing every few days as I used to break down on the phone to people and be upset for the rest of the day.
It’s such early days for you be still.
Deb x