Thank you Helen. And sorry to hear you are also feeling crappy! Is that even a proper word - but it sums me up right now. We must remember we are all still at the start of this journey - a long way to go but we will start feeling less sad and less conflicted in time. Hopefully even accept this is all normal. A quote from CS Lewis ( as played by the amazing Anthony Hopkins in Shadowlands) said: The grief/ sadness we feel now is part of the happiness then. I love that quote. Because we were so lucky to have such a great relationship with our Mums, it hurts all the more. I see some abysmal parenting through my work and realise every day just how lucky I was to have parents who loved me ( my Dad was soooo strict) but I realise it was through love. Anyway, I’m welling up drinking a cup of tea in the garden so will say bye for now. If tears were calories this week I think I would be down a dress size xx
Hi Julest,
OMG i can’t believe it. I watched Shadowlands the other day. I had watched it years ago and know I would be crying again but it’s such a wonderful film I watched it again and sobbed and sobbed. Anthony Hopkins and his lovely voice !!! And that quote is just so beautiful. I can hear him saying it now . How true the words are.
Just like you I can never repay my mum for what she did for me my whole life. I remember the night she passed and the Acute Response Nurses came to the house I kept saying to them as they stood next to her bed that I owed her so much. They just looked at me and I kept saying I can never thank her enough for what she has done all her life for me, going to work in a hospital kitchen at 5am in the morning to earn money so I could go to uni, for being my best friend all my life and for guiding me in every aspect of my life.Again they just stood there and I remember repeating myself saying but i really really owe her so much and saying you will never know how much I owe her for making me the person I am . Oh God I am welling up now myself.
Yes my sons girlfriend has a difficult job but is training to be a solicitor in Sept. She has a law degree and hopes eventually to be a judge but that is far away at the moment. At the moment I think what happened this week may have topped her to stop working for a while poor thing.
She is coming to stay with us next weekend so I intend spoiling her. She has helped my son so much with his grief as she has experienced grief herself .Her dad died when she was 12 yrs old .
Anyway wanted to tell you and the girls something. Last night at approx 1am I was awake and just quietly thinking of mums last few days before she went into hosp, the sickness etc and me phoning 999 etc. I had had a bad day worrying about everything esp my son and had talked to mums photo a lot yest. Suddenly at 1am my bedroom lit up . I thought it was car headlights but it remained lit so i thought it was new solar garden lights but then remembered i had only placed one below my bedroom window. The light was coming from the window area. I got up to look out into the garden to see what it was and the l had left LED lights on the windowsill earlier in the day. I was going to take them downstairs and had been on my bedroom cabinet for months. I have never turned them on. Thought I would take them downstairs to put into the gazebo but forgot to take them down. When i looked they were as bright as anything I couldn’t believe it. It was as though mum was telling me she was with me and knew how upset and worried I had been. There is just no other explanation for it. Immediately I felt comforted. I am crying again now.
We have to keep going girls. We have each other and thank goodness we do. What a bond we share !
Helen are you feeling better today?
Kate is everything okish with you?
Will check tom again with everyone
Deborah x
Hi Ladies
Have been a bit quiet on here as have been very busy, but have been reading all your messages.
We were away at the seaside for Alex’s last football fixture of the season. They had a great time and we parents did too. I organised a fish dinner for nearly 50 of us in a restaurant we often went to with mum too. I’ve been feelng a bit weepy the whole weekend tbh. Last year mum was at home waiting for us eager to know how Alex got on…
Random places at the stadium, hotel, the roads reminded me of phoning or texting mum…or pushing her in her wheelchair when we went for day trips there.
Deborah, you mentioned the lights as a sign and then something strange happened to me too.
Yesterday we stopped for a drink outside at a café and I could smell one of mum’s favourite perfumes. It’s strange because it’s not widely available and you can’t find it in the shops any more. I had to order some for mum online.
Anyhow there was a group of women sat near us and I just assumed one of them was wearing it. After some time I could still smell it and I turned round but the ladies had gone. There was nobody else sat near us… but the smell was in the air.
Was mum with me after all?
How are you all? Helen are you feeling a bit brighter? I bet your mum was proud with the treble victory of her team. 
. She will have been celebrating up there with her favourite tipple!
This journey is so tough isn’t it girls? The grief just hits hard for random things. Yesterday I had a litre of milk that needed using up so I made a rice pudding. It hurt because I often made them for mum as she would always eat them even with her poor appetite. I made the last one just a couple of days before she died…she never got to finish it.
Anyhow I just wanted to check in on you all and hope you are all Ok.
Keep posting girls.
Love to you all.
K xxxx
Ps I saw a lovely flm last night. It’s called Heaven is for real. I found it on Prime video. It’s based on a true story and gets you thinking about the afterlife and that it does exist. I do recommend it. Xx
Hi Kate and Girls,
I know what you mean about perfume Kate. My husband said he could smell my mums perfume a while ago but I haven’t as yet. There have been so many signs all to do with lights that I just know its my mum. It is so comforting.
It was a sign for sure for you. She is still with you Kate.
Been out in the garden today We have a huge amount of big jobs to get done New decking , new fence which is very long and trees to be cut. Will make some phone calls tom to find people to pop up to give us quotes for the jobs.
Hope everyone is doing okish It sounds so stupid to say hope you are all ok because I know none of you are but you know what I mean. I will have to try to think of a different way to say hope you are all ok . Am thinking of you all anyway.
Love to everyone
Deborah x
Hi Girls,
How’s everyone doing ?
Just checking in on you all
Deborah x
Hi ladies, Deborah, it’s fine to say ‘hope you’re all okay’ We know exactly what you mean. I suppose we are all getting through the worst time of our lives as best we can. I’ve been really low since Wembley and am struggling to pick myself up. I miss mum so much. I haven’t had many signs recently but my sister has had her car radio randomly switching to Classic FM which mum liked to listen to. I got in my car last night to go to the Man City parade and the radio switched to classic FM in my car. It was mum reminding me she was with me and coming to the parade. 🩵
Wow Kate, that is a lot of people to organise a dinner for! Well done. That does sound like your mum with the perfume. Who else could it be? It’s inexplicable. Your mum for sure. I’ll check out that film.
Deborah I’m so glad you are having a lighter time right now. You really needed a break from your agony. Don’t be disappointed if a low comes back as you now know better says will follow.
Hope you are okay Jules and work is bearable.
We’re all doing okay despite the lows. Keep going girls. Lots of love H xxx
Hi Helen
I have been worried about you so am glad you posted. When the low hits it really hits.I cry every day and more than once Manny times a day.Almost everything makes me think of mum.
I am still raged with guilt of phoning 999
.Why the hell didn’t I wait until the morning,? Maybe things would have been different. I had nothing to lose in waiting.
I was clearing some cuttings in the garden today and a white feather was under some twigs.I had put the cuttings there last night so I know it wasn’t there then.
Also I read recently about a medium saying to ask a loved one to show a sign they are still with us .It said not to ask for something daft like can you move a mountain but something like “You know I love dolphins can you show me a sign about a dolphin?”
Anyway that was something I read a few days ago Yesterday I told my husband about it and said I would try it.So I spoke to mum’s photo and asked her to give me a sign about the Seychelles. I couldn’t for the life of me think what signs could be given.Beach sea shells maybe. We got marrie in the Seychelles 35 yes ago so even something to do with a wedding would have been a sign.I forgot about it all day.During the day I wen to visit a friend’s pop up shop and she makes wax melts and candles.As I was browsing the various items I went over to a table that had approx 90 different wax melt pots on it all with different names and guess what? There was one called Seychelles. I couldn’t get over it.
I am not sure whether I am over thinking things or what.
Hope you feel a bit better tom Helen.There is no release from it when you hit a low spell. Nothing got me out of it for days and I felt so down. My friend kept telling me it would pass but I thought she was just saying it.It did pass but I would say it’s just eased a little and enough for me to function a little more.
Às far as my targets are concerned I have only completed my hanging baskets so far. It has been far too hot to do anything.
Hope Jules and Kate you are okish.
Any time you want to post Helen you do so bec it helps to chat and share feelings.We will all help you.
Thinking of you lovely x
Deborah x
Hi Ladies
How are you all? I’m okish. The sadness is always there bubbling just below the surface.
Deborah don’t be hard on yourself, I too keep going over in my head that maybe mum would still be here if I’d insisted on taking her for a heart tests earlier…why did I let her down? I had always been so on the ball with her health, but failed to realise how ill she was at the end. Then my logical part says she was 85 and it was just her time, I couldn’t have saved her. Grief is so unrelenting isn’t it? That Seychelles sign is incredible…we have to believe in these signs girls. The car radio too Helen and my perfume episode, our mums want us to know they are near us.
Sometimes I feel so alone as I have no siblngs to share my grief with and someone to turn to for support, who knew mum like me. Do you girls share your grief with your siblings? I know grief is very personal and each of us grieves in our own way depending on our relationship with our loved ones, but do you find comfort in each other, knowing that you are in the same boat? I got thinking about this after talkng to a girl I know who said her sister reacted in a totally different way to the loss of their father. I just feel even more alone in my grief beng an only child.
Oh well I just wanted to say I’m thinkng of you all. I’ve booked our tickets for 28th July and will be in Uk for approximately 3 weeks. I hope we can organise a meet up.
Lots of love my friends.
K xxxx
Hi Kate,
I have a sister and a brother who hardly came down to see mum My sister came once a year and stayed in a caravan with her family approx 30 miles away My brother only visited her every few years .Both should hang their heads in shame. Their grief is totally different and I didnt see a tear shed on mums funeral from them whilst I could hardly stand up and walk in grief and crying so much. No I don’t share my grief with them except to say I struggle every day and cry when i speak to them but they don’t understand. Mum loved them both so much and everything will be shared equally bet us and I will honour mums wishes even though they don’t deserve anything. They have both said they cant help with sorting the house as they work and are leaving it to me which is just fine. I will certainly take my time in selling it. My sister came down to see my mum for 3 days when she first went into hops then didnt come again despite me literally begging her to come down Mum lived for 5 weeks after her visit but she had excuses after another eg xmas , work family etc. Same with my brother. I am happy to sort mums house on my own as they really would annoy me being there I shall keep things for them and i have offered to give them anything they want but they dont want anything. There were certain things mum told me she wanted them to have so I shall take them to them . One lives in London the other in Portsmouth. At least I can hold my head up high and say I was always there for mum and 24/7 for the last 3 mths of her life. We were soulmates, best friends and had the most wonderful first class mother and daughter relationship. I am finding it so hard to digest that they didnt come down and I pretended to people at the funeral that they had because I was so embarrassed. Anyway I am crying now as it upsets me so much but it has helped me to vent it all.
Yes please I would love to meet up. It would be lovely to meet you even though I feel I have known you for years and years lol.
Theses are dates I cannot do if it helps. Aug 5th, 6th ,8th, 11th, 12th 13th,
The week starting Mon 14th is all ok .
Hope Helen and Jules can make it also.
Helen how are you today ? Is it easing a little ?
Jules is all okish with you?
I have had a horrible day here. My son and his lovely girlfriend have split and I have been so upset. It’s really affected me as she was wonderful to us as a family while mum was so ill in hospital and helped my son so much when she passed. I honestly could not have wished for anyone nicer for him but she wanted to end it so I have to respect her wishes and just support my son now who is gutted. Life is so difficult sometimes but the sadness I felt today was nothing compared to losing mum.
When mum passed a few nights later I accidently filmed myself whilst on my phone and I was crying so much and couldn’t get my breath. I looked awful like a totally different person and I cried today just watching it and realising how low I had got. It hit home to me how you girls got me through it and I honestly don’t know what or where I would be today without you all. Thank you girls so so much. x
Will check in tom to see how you all are
Deborah x
Hi girls, thanks for checking in on me. I’m about the same really. Can’t seem to pick myself up from this low I’m in. I’ll be okay. I’ve just read your messages and will message again later when I have more time as I have to get ready for work now. So sorry to hear about your son and his girlfriend Deborah. Hope you have as good a day as you can and I’ll speak later. Bye for now lovelies Hxxx
Hi Helen,
Keep going lovely. It will pass soon and get a little easier.
There is nothing you can do except ride the awful grief storm
All this is so sad for all of us
Deborah x
Hi girls, I’m feeling slightly better. I’m just so sad all the time. I haven’t cried as much as a few days ago but I could very easily burst into tears. Bumped into someone I knew in ALDI who I’d not seen since before mum died. She gave me a huge hug and her eyes were watering. It nearly set me off! We had a bit of a chat but arranged to meet properly soon. It’s very difficult.
Anyway, my brother and his wife are staying this weekend so I have that distraction. His wife is lovely but quite intense so it’s not very relaxing having them. They live in Edinburgh and have come by train so I’m their chauffeur for the weekend which is fine. My brother and I are doing a half marathon on Saturday which I’m dreading as the forecast is hot 
I’m sure we will just walk most of it though.
Kate, in answer to your questions about our siblings; I have an older sister and brother and a younger sister. As I say my brother lives in Edinburgh and both my sisters live about 40 minutes drive away. We tend to only see each other when we are at dad’s. Because dad struggles to talk about mum much we generally don’t talk about her that much although we always mention her if we talk about holidays etc. we just don’t talk in any depth about our feelings as it would upset dad too much. We do however, message each other though. The greatest gift my parents gave me was my siblings and my biggest regret is not having more children myself. Tom didn’t want any children so I was lucky to have 2! I think having siblings is so variable though. Some people have a poor or difficult relationship with siblings.
Deborah I’m sorry your brother and sister are so distant. I can’t understand it myself how they can be so detached. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing my sister was having to sort mums house etc all on her own and going through such heartbreak too. I think it must be hard not to get resentful. It must add yet another layer to the grief as you must feel let down. I suppose it’s a comfort knowing you had such a strong connection and relationship with your mum. They have both missed out on that. It’s too late for them now but you have that forever.
It just shows that having siblings doesn’t necessarily mean you have someone to share the grief with. I think grief is extremely lonely anyway even if you are surrounded by people who love you. Sometimes friends can be closer than siblings. One thing I’ve learnt in all this is to value the people in your life whether related or not. Make an effort to strengthen those bonds. It’s people who matter.
Deborah , I hope your son is okay. I’ve been through this with my own son. Your heart breaks for them doesn’t it. Eventually it’s clear that it wasn’t right for them and better things happen for them.
Take care lovely friends. Lots of love Hxxx
Hi Jules, you are so right. We are all so lucky to have been born to loving parents. One day, that will be a comfort to us. Right now I’m still feeling ripped off!! I too see evidence of poor parenting with some of my patients. Drug addicts, alcoholics, people on the fringes of life. They tell me stories if their lives and the parents were terrible. Some if the things I’ve heard in my nursing career have left me speechless! There but fir the Grace of god go I. It’s luck if the draw who we are born to and we all got lucky. It’s just so hard to say ‘goodbye’. I watched Shadowlands a few years ago and it made me feel so sad.
I’ve been struggling a bit with my own mortality and those I love. Because mums death was so totally unexpected it has left me feeling really vulnerable. My husband is a bit older than me and will be 58 soon. I just keep thinking the clock is ticking and time is running out! I know that’s really depressing but it’s how my mind is working right now. I know it’s the grief and shock of losing mum but I’ve never really thought about it before. Not in any great depth anyway. I hate these thoughts so much and just wish I could go through life, carefree and cheerful like I used to. Maybe this is it now? Maybe I’ll just have to live with these feelings for the rest of my life?
Sorry to go on. How are you? Are you still feeling low? Are you managing at work as bit better if still finding it depressing?
Take care love Hxxx
Hi Helen,
So glad you are a bit better A bit better is such a big leap in the great picture of things.
Sounds like you have a busy few days ahead driving people around.Yes it’s a distraction and that’s good because any help is so welcome when grief kicks in .Try to relax when you can though even if it is for a few moments away from everyone.Disappear to your bedroom for five minutes just to have a quick ME time
I am no good around having visitors here.I find I haven’t got the patience for anyone anymore and just want to be on my own which I know isn’t the right thing to do or be like.
Yes I agree about my sister and brother.They didnt have the same bond with mum and I did and both lived so far away al their lives only visiting when it suited them to be honest.Both have not offered any help to me.I planned all mum’s funeral and they both just turned the night before. Mum’s wake ended at 6
5pm and my sister travelled back to London with her family at 5pm giving the excuse she had work the next day. My brother did stay until the next morning.So I know it’s mean of me I suppose but I am dragging my tail selling mum’s house because I stil want somewhere to go to be close to her and our memories.They both should hang their heads in shame but under the circumstances I am glad I am doing the sorting as I can take my time and treasure every item etc.
I resent them more for not coming down to see mum before she passed Five weeks after they both visited her she passed so there was no excuse.Now I just feel I can hold my head up like so many people tell me and I know I was there for mum not just at the end but I retired 10 yes ago to spend more time with her.Wevhadcthe most amazing ten years and did everything together and went to so many places.How precious is that Priceless as the vicar told me. I just feel they missed out on so much that can be er be regained.There is no point in saying anything to them as we would fall out a d mum would have hated that to happen.I also try to see the positives in people even when I don’t want to.They kept in contact via phone calls so that’s a positive I suppose.I hate being bitter because that just drags me down.I hate being unkind and feeling like I could scream at the both of them so I try to keep calm about the whole situation and carry on. I have a saying now in our house WWMD what would mum do. It has been used a loy lately.
Mum was such a quiet gentle lady who would never harm a fly. She would always say never show people you are angry,cross,upset with them etc and Always kill people with kindness. I am trying so hard to follow her example.
We have something on common.Paul my husband didn’t want children either and we just travelled a lot Then Glyn came along and everything changed.Paul became the most donating dad and stil is 28 yes on lol. I was 38 having Glyn so had left it too late to have anymore and I wish with all my heart I had had just one more child.I always said I had a couple of hundred in school though so a little part of me felt they were mine even though I had to give them back at 3.30pm. My life was full of children so I didn’t really miss out.I miss them all so much now I have retired though.
I am still so upset about the relationship break up.Its a form if grief in a way because I know I will not see her again and it just adds to my own grief.
Anyway Kate and Jules hope you are doing ok. Kate we have sunny weather here at the moment so hopefully it wil be here when you come over.
Jules don’t work too hard.
Have a think girls about where we can all meet when Kate is over. It would be lovely to meet up
Will check with you all tom again
Deborah x
Hi Ladies,
I’ve been reading your messages, Yes, its’ really true that having siblings sometimes is just as lonely as being an only child.
Deborah, I agree with Helen, I take my hat off to you for doing all the sorting of your mum’s house alone. I too personally couldn’t let a sister of mine do that huge emotional (and physical ) task alone! You clearly had a special bond with your mum that your siblings didn’t have. I have a friend like you and she says that if anything were to happen to her mum ( or in times of need),she’s the only one who is there for her mum, and her brother and sister are nowhere to be seen. They go and visit her a few times a year when they can fit a visit into their schedules…
My mum was always a focal part of my life even though I live abroad, she had a second home here. I couldn’t imagine not finding the time to incorporate her into my life…
In my group of friends and colleagues, so many are estranged from their siblings, and say they feel like they are only children. In my own family I have 2 cousins (brother and sister) who haven’t spoken since their mum died in 2001! I find that really sad, but it happens often in families.
Another thing we have in common girls! I too wanted more than one child after Alex. Valerio didn’t want any more kids (Alex was a totally unexpected gift). I should have dug my heels in and had another baby straight away, but having had Alex with flying colours at 40, I didn’t want to push my luck.
I would have loved a brother or sister, but poor mum had had problems having kids. She suffered several miscarriages with her first husband and even a stillbirth (a sister who would have been a couple of years older than me). I was her last chance, she got pregnant soon after she met my dad and this time she was lucky!! She always said I only had one child but I had the best…
She said the same about Alex, her only beloved grandchild.
I woke up this morning feeling really down, I just thought of mum immediately.
Here it’s starting to get really hot … a month later than usual and the garden looks pretty, but mum’s chair is there, empty and I feel sad every time I go out. We had friends over for pizza in the garden last night like we did on numerous occasions with mum… I just missed her so much.
Her presence is missing everywhere. Alex bought a little ornament of St Peter’s in Rome and put it next to mum’s photo. That got me going of course.
Sorry to hear of the break up Deborah, I’ve got all this to come. It’s true, even break ups are a type of grief, and it must be hard if you were close to his girlfriend. Jules hope you are doing ok.
Hope your half marathon goes well Helen, and that all of you have a good weekend.
Stay strong girls!
Lots of love,
Kxxxx
Hi Girls,
How are you all doing ?
I haven’t been up to much so no news with me.
Kate I think feeling down is the new normal for us. We have to try to lead a new life and we don’t want to. Nothing feels the same anymore. If I am honest I always feel miserable and sad and just try to put a brave face on. I can’t see a time when I will even feel a bit better.
Helen how did the marathon go?
Jules are you ok ?
Deborah x
Hi Deborah, Kate and Jules
Seems we are all a bit low right now. We have learnt so much about loss and grief in the last months don’t you think? It’s been thrown on us and we’ve had to deal with a massive trauma that has changed our lives forever. We are doing well. Our mums will be proud. Mum said to me before she died ‘promise me you’ll have a happy life’ I told her I’d try. So that’s what I’m doing, trying. It’s just exhausting sometimes. I just think how painful it would be for mum to see me sad all the time. Like the pain we feel for our kids when they are sad. We have to keep living a good life for our mums. Also, I have to keep believing I’ll see mum again so I need to have stories to tell her.
I’ve had a busy weekend. The half marathon was a killer! But, I managed to drag myself round. Luckily the weather was cooler that day and we had a bit of drizzle so it was perfect. Im pretty achy now so taking it easy. My brother and his wife go home today and then I’m off to see dad this afternoon.
I know what you mean Deborah about having people to stay. You are never quite relaxed are you? You know when you’ve had a busy day, especially in this heat and the first thing you do when you get home is whip your bra off!! Oh the comfort! 
well I can’t do things like that with my brother here!! In fairness, they are pretty easy guests. They look after themselves and both have health issues so take themselves for naps etc. don’t really see that much of them.
Kate, sometimes friends are closer than siblings. It’s about the people we have connections with whether they are related or not. I’m lucky I have close bonds with my sisters and brother but I know not everyone does. I completely understand how comforting it would be for you to share this heartache with someone in the same situation. All this has definitely made me value the people in my life more. I’ll definitely be making more effort in future. Nice that you have been going in the garden with friends. I know it’s hard but the more you do it, the more you’ll associate it with good things. I remember when just going out there was too much for you, so that’s progress, love 
Deborah, my son James was with a girl for 4 years before they split. She was a lovely girl and we got on with her so well. We were very sad about not seeing her again. She was still on my Instagram and a few months later I saw a picture of her with a new boyfriend while my poor son was still struggling with the breakup. It’s not easy is it? Even when they are all grown up and hairy we still want to mother them and take their hurt away.
Jules, I hope you are okay. Hope your dad is coping better. My dad is up and down, like us. He’s currently in a better mood which has a positive effect in me. It makes such a difference to how we cope doesn’t it? Whether or not those we love are managing. If one of my sisters is struggling and start being melancholic, it can push my mood right back down again. We just bounce off each other. Did you think anymore about work? Were you hoping to reduce your hours?
I’m off to Devon for a few days tomorrow so don’t know what the signal will be like on our campsite. To be honest I don’t want to go but it would be unfair on Tom to deny him a little break so I’m trying to be enthusiastic. I can only do a few days at the moment so we are back on Saturday. If you don’t hear from me you know why. Lots of love to you all. Keep smiling. Speak soon Hxxx
Hi Helen, Deborah and Jules
Hope you are all ok. Well done Helen on the half marathon! Good job, especially in the heat!
I’ve been working from home today so I feel pretty sad. I’ve been talking to mum and telling her how much I love her and how sorry I am that she left so suddenly and that I didn’t realise she was as ill as she was.
Father’s day got me thinking about dad too. It was on Father’s day 1981, 21st June that he died aged just 54.
I woke up to the awful news that he’d died early that morning. Tragically, I couldn’t give him his present and card. So suddenly and unexpected, but I can honestly say that time eased the grief and I hope it will this time too.
Now I always think of him on the anniversary, but I don’t feel sad. I hope you thoroughly spoilt your dads yesterday Helen and Jules.
Helen, I too feel that mum would definitely have told me to be happy if she’d have been able to tell me anything.
I strive to do this, but it’s hard at times as we all know. Everything reminds me of mum and I keep thinking of what we were doing this time last year. Taking each day for granted and totally oblivious that we were living on borrowed time. Life is so fragile and we must try to be happy for our mums girls. It’s true that they would be upset at seeing us all so sad. Helen, have a great time in Devon. Where are you going? The break will do you good! Say Hi to Gloucestershire for me as you drive past.
Hope you are ok Deborah and Jules.
It’s a short post as I’m feeling a bit down today, but hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel better.
Love to you all.
K xxxx
Hi Girls,
Just had a quick read of your posts before I go to bed. Helen you made me laugh about the bra. I had forgotten what laughing was like. Yes go to Devon as it will be a break for you. I went to Clovelly years ago and it was so pretty. If you are near there try to visit the village. And you will love the quaint church there. I know what you mean about trying to be enthusiastic though as I don’t even know what that word means anymore. I doubt I will ever feel enthusiastic about anything ever again. Brilliant news about the half marathon also. Well well done. I get tired just watching it on TV lol.
Kate I have mums old calendar and saw all the things she had written this time last year all with me eg appointments, hair , church, shopping trips etc It was so painful to read.
I knew she was 89 and I was on borrowed time so to speak but I really didnt see the end coming . It took me by complete surprise and shock. I am struggling to carry on in a normal way without her as I feel lost in every aspect of my life. I feel redundant as I was her carer and no I don’t have all of that.
Jules are you okish?
Keep going girls. We have been through hell this year and each day is a marathon but we have each other .
Love to you all
Deborah x
Hello, I have literally just joined this group after waking up crying again. It’s 3am in the morning and not uncommon now. Almost 2 years since my mum passed, and the circumstances of how it all went I can’t express! I miss her every single day, and I thought that it would get easier with time, but it isn’t. Every day gets even worse. I have it in my head when I wake up that I have to sort myself out and get on top of things