Hi Girls,
Had a few days away and feel refreshed but also sad in many ways. We visited places I took my mum to so there were constant memories everywhere. Even when I tried not to go anywhere we had been to there were still memories in some way or another.
I have given up on friends and them getting in touch I now realise it’s best to be on my own so I don’t get hurt and it is actually working ok. I would rather stay away from the world at the moment because after 6mths people would say things thinking i should be over everything and I am far from it.
Had another sign today. A white feather. My husband and I sat at a bench to have a picnic and I started talking about mum saying this is exactly where we had sat before and how she said she loved the place. I got up to get something from the car which was parked behind the bench and there was the biggest white feather I had ever seen just approx 3 steps away from me . I couldn’t believe it. No way was it there before when we sat down 15mins before that. I just kept staring at the feather then looked up to the sky. Of my goodness it was amazing.
I actually had a text message from my brother asking if I was ok . I explained that I hadn’t done much as far as the house was concerned and he just said for me to take my time doing it . Big deal I thought. No offer to help.I asked him if he would like anything from the house and that he could have anything but he just said he would have a keepsake and for me to choose.Honestly I couldn’t write it as the saying goes. I just said ok as I don’t want to fall out. Life is too short for arguments and I am not going to change people and it’s too late now anyway as mum has gone. If I am honest I want to be on my own sorting her house as I was the one with her and cared for her all her life. It is still upsetting though as I want to scream at him .
I have started wearing some of mums clothes and it feels amazing and comforting. Just a few tops and jumpers but I feel her so close to me.
Will write again tomorrow as I only came back earlier and cant sleep so thought I would post on here.
Love to you all and hope you are all okish.
Deborah
Hi Ladies
How are you?
I’m ok, have been keeping busy with work and organising an end of season bbq for the footie team and parents. It was a good evening and made a change. Too much spritz and sangria was consumed by all 
!!
I think it is true that we have all been let down by certain people in our grief, whether it’s close family members or friends. I hope one day I can look back and say that I’m proud of myself for getting through this horrible time on my own. I guess it shows how resilient we can be at times. It’s very true Helen that these days a quick text takes a few seconds but makes the world of difference. There’s no excuse whatsoever for the absentees in our lives!!
Wow that feather does seem like a sign Deborah… how comforting for you. I took a few of mum’s summer t-shirts out of the drawer to wear. I also feel comfort by wearing her things Deborah. I will give her older larger sized clothes away, but the later clothes she bought I will wear. Mum didn’t dress like an old lady either. I will be the same when I go into Marks Deborah, in fact I will probably be crying myself around most of Gloucester, I’ll need to wear sunglasses even if it rains!!
We are off to Minorca on Thursday for a week. Part of me wants to go and have a much needed break, but a part of me has zero energy to want to do anything, even to book the holiday was hard work for me.
It’s only fair on the boys though to have a break. I can hear mum saying “you 3 go and have a lovely holiday” as she always used to. That voice is what is making me go.
Anyhow I have to take Alex for his eyesight check up soon so I’ll sign off for now.
Love to you all! 
K xxx
Hi Girls,
Kate, it’s good that you’ve been busy. Sounds like you’ve had a lot to organise. Nothing wrong with too much spritz and sangria! Lol Talking about yours and Deborah’s mums dress sense made me smile as my mum didn’t really have that, bless her! She usually wore a Man City top of some description with jeans. 
Even if we were going out she’d choose something that made her look even shorter than she was or colours that clashed. Oh how I miss my quirky, unique mum!
Deborah, that was lovely of your mum to send you that feather. She’s letting you know that she is okay and always with you. Hope you had a nice holiday. I know it’s hard going to all the places you visited with your mum but hope you felt close to her too. I’m glad you’ve been a bit more upbeat and getting out more. Grief can be crippling can’t it? I didn’t see Lewis Capaldi at Glastonbury Deborah, but heard what happened. Let’s hope he recovers well. I feel sad for him but lovely that the crowd carried him. Will your son still have work now he’s taking a break? It sounds like an amazing job he has!
I’ve come out of my dark hole a bit too. I’ve been feeling a bit brighter. I’ve been so busy with work and some training I’m doing. Dad has stopped coming to church which is absolutely fine but I’ve carried on going. I still haven’t regained my faith (maybe a slight spark?) but I get so much comfort from going. I love hearing people talk about this life is only a small part of our journey etc. it’s what I need to hear right now. I just get such a warm feeling when I walk in the church.
It was Tom’s birthday yesterday so I’ve booked us a little spa break in a posh hotel in Cheshire. Just 1 night but I’m actually really looking forward to it, which is a first! Since losing mum, as you know yourselves, it’s been hard to feel any kind of happiness. It’s like the grief killed my joy receptors. Let’s hope they are growing back 
Jules, I hope you are okay. I know you read the posts on here. Don’t feel like you have to respond but just know we are all thinking of you and hoping things are better for you and your dad.
Speak soon girls. Have a fabulous holiday Kate. I haven’t been to Minorca but heard it’s lovely. Enjoy!
Sending you all lots of love Hxxx
Hi Girls,
Sorry I haven’t posted much but been away and lost all track of everything
Kate - enjoy your hols. You deserve it.
Helen i am so glad you are a bit better.
I have been wearing mums tops and a dress that she had It fits me so lovely and I felt so close to her.
We went away for a few days and stayed in a pod.It was lovely and had everything we needed. No cooking or bathroom facilities but they were just a short walk away.There was a restaurant on site and a bar so we ate there some nights and found a restaurant close by. I actually started to forget my worries just for a short while. I found a white feather just outside the pod one morning so I know mum was helping me .
My son is out of work because Lewis is ill so it’s all upsetting but everyone understands how ill he is and hopes he gets better. Its added stress for my son as no one gets paid. He is freelance so the insurance company does not cover him. It’s all been both upsetting and stressful for my son Glyn but there sisnothing anyone can do about it.
I would love to go abroad Kate so go and enjoy every minute. I may go next year if I feel up to it.
I really have to start thinking about putting mums house up for sale. it is going to be so upsetting for me but I have to do it and finish everything off properly for mum. Am dreading it really
Jules are you okish
Speak again soon girls. Keep going my lovely friends and stay strong
Deborah x
So lovely to hear from you Deborah, you know when you think back just a few months how you could barely function, it just shows how far you have come. I bet you couldn’t have even imagined going for a little break and actually enjoying it. I know at the moment our enjoyment is dumbed down but it’s there. I just find it hard to get enthusiastic about anything now but I’m hopeful. I was thinking about your son. I know it’s very sad about Lewis and he has to put his well-being first but it does have that knock on effect to people like your son. He’s got so much experience I’m sure he will get a job soon enough.
Just thinking back to those early days and how far we have all come on this journey. I know we’ve still got a long way to go but we are making our mums proud. I was talking to my sister about how much we just want our mum back but then we’d have to go through this again. I honestly think if I had to go through this again, especially those first months, I couldn’t take it and I would die myself of a broken heart. There have been times where I wondered if I could survive such pain. We’ve all felt this haven’t we girls?. Look at us now starting to live a bit again. Life has to go on and we are finding our way in a world that feels so different.
Jules, I really hope you are okay love. We are all here for you when you are ready to chat, vent, etc Don’t feel you have to respond as I’m sure you’re reading the messages, but just know we all care xx
Kate I hope you’re having a lovely holiday. I wish I had a 10 year old. It’s a great age. They are getting more independent but still need you and give cuddles. Enjoy making happy memories.
Lots of love to all of you my dear friends. Hxxx
Hi Helen and girls,
Helen when I look back at photos on my phone when i was looking after mum at the end and there is one video clip of me that I accidentally took one night when i was sobbing. My face honestly didn’t look like me and i was overcome by how awful I looked. It looked like I was gasping for air to breath as I was crying so much. It was painful to watch but I have watched it many times and it does remind me how far I have come even though I am nowhere near saying I am much better just a little. How did we all get through the first week I shall never know.
I did go away but even though I sort of enjoyed the change of scenery and it was at a pretty setting in a pod by the sea my heart ached for mum all the time. I remembered her doing this that and the other and the tears were so close all the time. I find I am miserable all the time and goodness knows what people think of me. I know mum would want me to carry on and have the best life ever but I miss her so much. The other day I had this urge that I just had to see her and the reality of it all knowing she has gone was terrible.
It’s ok about my son because he is freelance so has work with the BBC and S4C and works on all sorts of filming projects. When Lewis is better I am sure he will have work with him again but for now health comes first and everyone working for him appreciates that.
Speak soon
Deborah x
Hi Girls,
Where is everyone?
Am missing you all.
Hope you are all okish.
As for me I am just plodding on. I stumbled across the film of mums funeral this evening and watched it. I looked so awful in it and realise now what a bad way I was in. I had missed so many things on the day and was wrapped up in my grief just blinded from everything that went on . I cried a lot watching it but was glad I did watch it tonight. I realised how beautiful soothing and calming the songs and music were and how mum would have loved the choice of songs.
It has been almost 7 mths since mum passed but feels more like one month. That huge lump in my chest is still there and the tears are right there by my eyelids waiting to flow at the smallest thing.
I went through a very bad day a few days ago when I just wanted to see my mum and almost screamed. I was behaving like a spoilt child saying over and over I just want to see her.
Had another sign last night. I was on my computer in the spare bedroom and when i went to bed switched everything off. Approx 10mins later the light on the printer came on even though I hadn’t used it all day.
All the signs I have had have been to do with lights and a few days ago I said to my husband that I thought I wouldn’t have anymore signs with lights as I felt I had had them all and there was nothing else to light up. So the computer was a new one. I really think that is it now though as there is nothing else new to light up. Have had my mobile phone light up, lights in the house, lamps, fairy lights lighting up in the middle of the night, wax burner light stop working and replaced with new light only to fail within 2 days, oven light stopped working, ceiling light explode during the week mum passed, my sons mobile lit up with a call in the middle of a show when he was nowhere near his mobile and when he looked it said nan calling. Not sure what else can possibly light up or stop working.
Will let you all know if I do get something.
Love to you all and just remember I am here for you all. Anytime ok . I know you all must be feeling down as otherwise you would have posted so try to take small steps and you will get through it. We have no choice but to let it pass when it gets rock bottom.
How do you all cope when it gets really bad and you feel at your worst. My way dealing with it is to go into another room so I get out of everyone’s way and just be alone. It’s easier for me though as I don’t have children here and can just laze around and mope for days until it shifts. Also not working is a godsend when I am down as I don’t have to people please and pretend I am ok.
If I ever get a downer in the middle of the night I have to get up put the light on and go downstairs and make a cuppa. The darkness makes it worse for me. It truly is awful going through this isn’t it ?
Anyway am thinking of you girls and try to tell yourselves how far we have all come in such a short time. Our mums I know for sure would be so so proud of us. I like to think they are the driving force behind us and I hope with all my heart they can see how much we loved them and what beautiful friendships have bene formed between us.
Big hugs and keep going
Deborah x
Hi Deborah and girls, I think Kate is still on holiday and I’ve been so busy at work. I’ve been doing an intensive training course that requires lots of reflections, reading, workbooks so these have been taking up my time in the evenings. I was half way through the course when mum passed so stopped for a while. When I was ready to resume they said I was too far past the deadline and had to start again. There was a lot of E-mails and taking things higher and they eventually gave me a new deadline but for 3 weeks! so it’s been a real push to get it done. My heart just hasn’t been in it so it’s not my best work. I’m handing it in today and will be glad to see the back of it. It’s so I am able to do cervical smears so it’s been really intense training.
Wow you’ve had so many signs Deborah. All those lights and the one on Glyns phone that said ‘nan calling’ gave me goosebumps. Plodding on is better than staying in bed and giving up which let’s face it, we’ve all found that a better alternative than having to face this new reality. Deborah, you have come a long way since those early days. Just managing to function is an improvement. I was worried about you and how you couldn’t get out of that black hole. I know the grief is still a massive cloud over us but every so often there’s a chink of light. I haven’t had any signs for a while but that’s okay. I know mum is with me, somehow. in terms of grief, I’ve felt better recently. I’ve still not been able to check messages/voicemails on my phone. I avoid looking at photos of mum as I still find it upsetting. When I do see a picture of her I look at it and just think ‘have you really gone? How can you not be here?’ It is very painful but I too am plodding on. I’m looking at flights to America for September to visit my daughter and grandaughters and then to visit our son in Barcelona in October. My son is coming home for a week in august so there’s something planned for every month. Oh and we will be looking at getting another dog november/December time.
It will be 6 months on 15th July that mum died. It still feels unreal to write that! 6 months. The longest I went in my whole 52 years without seeing her was 6 weeks during lockdown but then I did go to her and chat in the garden as we agreed a safe way of meeting. Couldn’t stand not seeing them.
We are all doing our best. You are right to let the grief out when it comes. I find it hard to talk to my sisters, only because we always have dad with us when we meet and he still barely talks about mum. I’ve told him about Sue Ryder grief forum and there’s a place near us that does grief counselling. All a local charity. I’ve come to the conclusion, it’s up to him. I’m not responsible for how he manages the grief. I have my own grief to deal with. I’ve suggested some tools it’s up to him to use them or not. I’ve told a few patients about this forum who have been bereaved. I’ve continued with church on Sundays. There’s just something about going that I find so comforting. It’s nice being surrounded by people who believe death us not the end and there is hope. It’s what I need right now.
Anyway girls I’m off for an early swim. Have a good day you lovely lot. Lots of love and bye for now Hxxx
Good morning ladies,
I have been really quiet for a while for so many reasons; not sure where to begin. It’s really lovely reading your updates and how we are all getting through the days without our Mums. Deborah:so many signs from your Mum and reading about your son Glynn’s mobile call -, if that isn’t a sign your Mum is calling to check in and say hello I don’t know what is! Sounds like we are all having good days and bad days. I’m doing really well for a while and then crash bang! Not sure if grief, menopause or job stress. Work is crazy. People leaving in droves ( social work is like that) and so much knife crime in Southampton is getting frightening. I’m also on standby to fly to Portugal to assess parenting capacity for an estranged child. Not sure when or if it’s me but I must be ready. Good news: I have a job offer from the school I applied to. I was the oldest candidate by a decade - but i am their preferred candidate. A real boost. I can’t accept yet as waiting to see if i get voluntary redundancy this week - but they will wait ( the schoo) for me. My daughter is also off to Paris this weekend with school. First overseas trip without us. She is nearly 12. Dad is a little better so that’s good.
Deborah: I hope Glynn is ok. Tough splitting up at that age and everything going on work wise. Will come good. We have all survived a broken heart 
over the years but tough as it is - a better future is out there ,
Helen: sounds like you a super busy. Gosh all those cervical smears. I couldn’t do your job! Glad you are arranging trips to see your family.
Kate: Hope you are enjoying your holiday and are doing ok?
I’m going to sign off now as need to start work. Portugal will also be tough as used to go there often with Mum and sister. Faro may trigger a few tears but on I go.
X
Hi girls,
So lovely to hear from you. I was getting a bit worried but also knew you all work and are super busy with all that.
Will write later as getting ready to go out.Just wanted to send you a quick reply.x
Deborah x
Hi Girls,
Met my friend today and had my first girlie day if you can call it that. Seemed strange going into shops that I went with mum. Saw dresses she would have liked so whispered Mum you would have bought that. Couldn’t bring myself to go to M and S for coffee though as that would have been too much as we always went there.
Helen well done on doing the course Who would have thought you would ever have been able to get into the right frame of mind to do a course. Oh I am so pleased for you.
Jules just brilliant about the school job. You will love it. Just wait until you work with little children It wont seem like work.
Yes the phone lighting up was amazing and to this day it cant be explained. He was filming the concert and had put his phone down near the stage on silent . Half way through he noticed it light up and tried to get to it as it was difficult to reach. When he looked it said nan calling There is no way that it would have accidentally gone off with a vibration or something and it wasn’t the last call he made as this happened about a month after mum passed so he had had loads of calls by then.
I am still worrying myself sick over my son and his girlfriend finishing I feel so sad and its like another grief because I thought the absolute world of her and miss her with all my heart the thought of not seeing her again is bringing back memories of my grief with mum. It’s all so sad.
I can only support him as much as possible.
Enjoy your trip Jules and stay safe.
Helen go to America and also to see your son. It will be lovely for you. Wherever you are in the world your mum will be with you.
Kate hope you are enjoying your holiday.
Will pop back on here in a day or two to check how everyone is
Deborah x
Hi Lovely ladies,
How are you all? I’ve been reading your messages whilst away on holiday. We came back last night and I can say we had a lovely time in Minorca. It was relaxing and we all needed the break. It was of course tinged with sadness like everything is now. On the first day I took a dip in the sea and there was a pure white feather floating next to me. It was a sign from mum to have a good holiday and that she was with us in spirit. Then a beautiful bright yellow butterfly seemed to keep appearing from nowhere…
I was taken back to the last time I was there 18 years ago… I remember phoning mum from a certain place we visited or even something silly like seeing an espadrille fridge magnet that I bought for her back then and is still on her fridge now in Gloucester. It was a good tonic for us all though. Now I’m preparing myself psychologically for going back to UK in 2 weeks time.
I guess I will have to face my grief straight on. I think walking into mum’s house will be the hardest part, seeing her empty chair and imagining her in every corner of the house and garden and also leaving it of course. In a way I wish I could fast forward to September, but I am hoping that I can find some comfort from being there.
Helen, it’s good that you are feeling better now and also have lots of lovely things planned over the next few months. I’m sure it will be a great help to have your family nearby. I do look at mum’s photos now and then or videos of her voice, it brings comfort but is also very sad at the same time. I think again it’s a question of facing our grief head on, which I know at times is easier to avoid because I do it too. In fact I think that’s why I have kept pushing back my visit to mum’s house.
We just have to be kind and patient with ourselves and not set too many targets for anything.
Deborah, wow the signs are amazing, especially the phone call your son had. I hope everything will be ok for him work wise.
I can understand that the relationship split feels like another form of grief. We are in the same boat regarding our mums’ houses… it’s going to be tough letting them go isn’t it? Remember though that they are just houses now without our mums, and the memories are what we will carry in our hearts.
Good to hear from you Jules. Well done on the job offer! A complete change will be good for you maybe. Hope all goes well in Portugal if you go.
It’s true we have all moved forward so much in the last 6 months, and our mums will be proud of us.
Girls, I will be home working from mum’s from 31st until 5th August, but then I’m on holiday. Up until around the 13th I will be free. I can certainly take a day off from sorting to meet up.
Let me know what would work for you. In the week from 14th we are toying with the idea to take Alex to Manchester as it’s his birthday on 15th and he would like to go on an Old Trafford stadium tour or even better the first match of the season on 14th, but the match tickets are so hard to find.
If we come to Manchester that week we may look at flying back from there as there is a direct flight to Bologna unlike Bristol and Birmingham, so it wouldn’t make sense to go back down to Glos.
It’s all a bit tricky as I need to see how the sorting goes, but let me know what dates you could make. I’d really like to meet up as I know our mums have brought us all together and our friendship is really important to me!
Lots of love to you all.
K xxxx
Hiya Kate,
Great to hear from you.
Ok i have a hosp appointment that i cant miss on the 7th Aug but am free 8th 9th and 10th. I am going away on hol on 11th and 12th and 13th so the only dates i could meet up are the 8th and 9th. Would this be any good? Where could we meet up? I really think we should make it work to meet up as it would be amazing. Helen Jules are you able to make it
Get your thinking caps on girls. Come on we can do it
Deborah
Hi,
Should have said I can travel anywhere on the 7th to meet anywhere on the 8th or 9th Aug .
Deborah x
Hi girls, Hope you’re okay. Glad you had a good holiday Kate. There’s memories everywhere. I’m finding I can smile a bit at the odd one but most of them make me feel sad. Mum said to me just before she died, ‘we all have to lose our mums Helen. You’ll feel sad for a while but in time, you start to feel happy when you think of the memories’. Can’t see me anywhere near that yet but mum was wise so I will take what she said as hope. Funny Kate how it’s the little things, like the espadrille fridge magnet. I have roller fabric cutter for my dressmaking that mum bought me. Nothing special but it’s so symbolic of my mum thinking of me when she was out one day and just bought it for me. There’s loads of little bits and bobs like that around the house that she got. It’s making me cry thinking about it. She was such a sweetheart. My boss is a united fan and probably a member of a local supporters club. I’ll ask him how to get tickets. I don’t know if he can, but I will ask him about 14th August.
Deborah, it’s so hard to lose someone who’s been in your life for a while. When my son split from his partner a few years ago I was really upset at not seeing her ever again. She got a new boyfriend soon after and I just felt so sad for my son, James, who was devastated 
Jules, congratulations on the new job. You’ve done so well. It’s a new chapter for you and a positive step to rebuilding your life without your mum here. It’s so hard when we have exciting things happen as we just want to tell mum don’t we? My mum delighted in my accomplishments and was always so enthusiastic about things I was doing at work. God I miss that!
Girls I would love to meet up. I think the Wednesday or Thursday will be best for me around 9th. I normally work Thursday but will request it off. I’m excited to actually meet. I feel like I’ve known you for years! Jules, will you be able to meet then?
Lots of love to you all. Hxxx
Hi girls,
Just having a catch up on here as can’t sleep. Have had a downer of a day.Got up and checked my emails only to find an email from an elderly lady who had been in school with my mum.She had found a photo of my mum’s shop and she was in the photo sitting outside with her cousin.It was the tiniest fruit and veg shop you have ever seen but seeing it made me think how hard my mum’s life was.She was 24 yes of age and had just lost her grandparents that year.Her mum had died on childbirth and her father was not in her life as her grandmother took over the role of being her mum.My mum was left alone in the world with no parents grandparents or brothers and sisters at 24. There she was sitting outside her tiny shop that she opened in the village where she lived at just 24yrs of age. In the photo she was dressed so smart. She had me at 25 and I am so glad bec I would have been her only family along with my father.I think this morning the reality of it al hit me hard and I feel so guilty for not talking to her more about it.I cried such a lot this morning seeing the photo. No matter how much I tried to stop the tears kept coming.
It’s tough when you get days when the smallest thing triggers you. Trying to lift yourself up from it is so hard.
Anyway do we have any thoughts on where we could meet up. We all live so far away from each other but I am sure we can sort something out. Somewhere that is easy for us all to get to. I live in Haverfordwest but could get to Cardiff in approx 2 and a half hours driving or could get the train. The train will probably take longer from my neck of the woods but that’s still ok. Can also travel further.
Yes I feel the same Helen.I feel like we have been friends for ever as we have all bonded so well through this nightmare.
I couldn’t have got through my grief without you all.Knowing that whatever you are doing whether it’s working,looking after your family,dealing with your own grief etc you always found time to reply with sensible replies helped me so much and still does.Its the fact that you all know what it feels like that has always made me put my strong head on and carry on.
Thank you girls,
Keep going and see you all soon
Deborah x
Aww Deborah, I get what you’re saying. I too feel sad when I think of mum and some of the struggles she had. Can you imagine the joy your mum felt when she had you? All that loss and then a husband and a lovely new baby? The losses and struggles would have made her appreciate her own family even more. It’s what made her the lovely person she sounds like. I totally get the guilt feeling. Mum was very sharp minded but would often repeat something she’d told me the week before. Instead of just listening I could be really dismissive and say ‘yes mum you told me already’ or I could get a bit impatient if she was dithering about something. I feel awful now when I think. My way of dealing with any guilt is to override it with positive thoughts. I think if all the love I gave her, all the outings we went on, all the times I went to their house etc. she knew I loved her beyond words and the things we feel guilty about are insignificant in the bigger picture.
In terms of meeting, the Wednesday or Thursday 9th and 10th are best for me (I could do the weekend but think you are away Deborah). Cardiff is a long trip for me so I was thinking of maybe Worcester? Anyway, I’m sure there’ll be somewhere suitable that suits us all. Maybe if we all pencil those days in and we can finalise plans in the next week or so. Looking forward to seeing you all. Bye for now. Lots of love Hxxx
Hello Ladies,
I would absolutely love to meet up with you all. It has already been said but knowing you are on here , getting on with ( or trying to ) your lives, living with the grief and knowing what it’s like living without our beautiful Mums; has really given me strength - when sometimes I’ve felt so alone. ( despite many friends, colleagues etc). I really think we have been brought together for a reason. We are in Bude for a week from Sat 5th Aug to 12th. I was off for two weeks but cancelled the second due to having a new job. Cardiff would be great for me also - but happy to meet wherever easier for others. Lots of memories for me in South Wales also. We went out for a curry and a few glasses of wine last night with friends. One of my friends lost her Mum to cancer 14 years ago. She still misses her every day but the pain is still there. She said she can no longer remember her Mum’s voice but will always remember her laugh. My Mum’s voice is as clear as a bell. It’s Mum’s birthday tomorrow. She will be 81 years old. I thought we would have had longer but life had other ideas. My friends Mum was 61 when she passed and had just retired from teaching. I feel lucky to have had Mum in my life for so long but still feel short-changed. Forever would still not feel long enough would it when it comes to our Mums.
Deborah that email is enough to trigger so many memories for you. Sounds like your Mum had a very difficult life and time ; losing loved ones so young and not knowing her Mum. Then she had you and her life changed. We will never know just how much joy we brought to our Mums. We mustn’t feel guilty for not talking to our Mums more about things. Perhaps they were happy not do. We can berate ourselves us thinking we should have said this; we should have acknowledged that etc. I wish I had talked to my Mum more about the end but we never really knew it was coming and it never felt right. Unless you know for sure it’s hard to talk about isn’t it. One thing is for sure: our Mums were loved and they knew how much they were loved. What else is there? X
Hi Ladies,
It’s true we can’t and shouldn’t berate ourselves about what we didn’t or should have said/done etc.
I too feel bad that I didn’t talk to mum enough about the end. In hindsight I think she may have known what was coming by certain things she said. She talked about selling the house and what would I do with the money,
The fate of Alex’s beloved football nets she bought for him at hers bless. I of course was dismissive and didn’t enlarge on anything, but I really didn’t think she would be gone so soon, so suddenly. I wrote her an email shortly after she died with the heading “if only…” and I told her all I would have wanted to have done and told her if I’d have known. Hindsight can really play tricks with our minds.
It’s true Jules, we have to think that our mums knew they were loved by our actions and yes it’s true we bought much joy into their lives. It was a fresh start for them all.
I saw my hairdresser last week and she told me her mum had just passed aged 64. I felt very grateful that mum was nearly 86 years old, but at whatever age we have them until it’s never long enough.
Thinking of you on your mum’s birthday Jules. It’s not easy, but maybe do something to acknowledge it if you feel to. I cooked one of mum’s favourite meals and toasted her. A friend of mine makes the same recipe of her mum’s each year.
Regarding meeting up both Worcester and Cardiff are fine for me. The date could be tricky if Jules is away as I’m working the week 31st to 4th. I could see if I could get some hours off one day and just work the morning. What dates would work for you all that week or Sunday 30th? Otherwise I will be in Manchester on 15th to take Alex on the stadium tour for his birthday, 16th is free and we fly back on 17th from Manchester.
Thank you Helen regarding the ticket enquiry.
Anyhow have a think about dates, place. We will sort something I’m sure.
Lots of love,
K xxx
Hiya Girls,
Ok have I got this right LOL
Jules you are away from Sat 5th Aug to 12th
Kate you are working 31st July to 4th Aug but 16th Aug is free for you
Helen you are ok for 9th and 10th Aug
As for me I cant do these dates -July 29th and 30th. Aug 4th 5th and 6th 7th 11th 12th 13th.
Looks like 16th Aug is our best day in Manchester because Kate and Helen you will be up there. I can get there How about Jules ?
Or can anyone see a better way round it.
Lets try to make it happen if we can .
Thinking caps on girls
Deborah x