Yes, I’m fine for 9th and 10th (will need to book 10th off work but my boss is great) The 16th is fine but it’s a long way for you and Jules to come. Let’s see what Jules thinks and what days she is free. Jules are you free 9th 10th august? Or 16th? Xxx
Hiya,
I think Jules is away from 5th to 12th Aug. I am fine about travelling to Manchester if Jules can. Just looked and Travelodge is just £30 a night if I didnt dream it, Cant understand why its so cheap but I could travel up the day before.
Deborah x
Hi Girls
Deborah we too will book a travel lodge for our time in Manchester 
.
Just to recap I could do 30th July in Worcester or Cardiff. ( also 31st til 4th by asking for a few hours off).
5th till 12th any day in Worcester or Cardiff but Jules is away and then 16th in Manchester.
Jules how are u fixed?xxx
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I can also 30th July as well as Wednesday 2nd, 9th, 10th, 16th August 
Hi girls, hope you’re all okay. Just checking in on you. Hoping your week has been good and you’ve all found some joy.
I’ve had a nice week. In between work I’ve had a visit from my lovely niece and her gorgeous little girl. My mum was her grandma so we both had a chat about mum and both had a few tears. I told her how disappointed I am that my siblings (my sister, Becky, is her mum) haven’t been forthcoming about a celebration of mums life. She agreed it would be lovely and we feel it needs to be done this year. I’m not going to stress over it. I can’t do it alone so I will always know in my heart that I tried for mum. I’m going to have a page in one of the match day programmes. I have a wooden swinging chair in the garden that mum gave us so I will put a plaque there for her. I planted the rose named ‘Marjorie’ next to it and it’s coming on a treat. I’m doing a few things in honour of mum.
My son James and his girlfriend are home for a week on 5th august but I’m still fine to meet up on the Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. I can do the weekend too but I think you’re away Deborah. I think we can wait a bit longer to see if Jules can make it but we have those pencilled in. Kate, did you book the united tour? I asked my boss about tickets but he said he never buys them because he has a season ticket. I don’t mind going to Old Trafford to ask at the ticket office if you are still interested. Let me know. It’s only a 25/30 minute drive.
Kate, I’ve been thinking of you in that heat. Hope you’re bearing up love. James is struggling in Barcelona and it’s not even as hot there. Hope it cools down soon 
Anyway girls, off to see a new member of the family, my nephews new son, then out with dad. Speak soon and have a good weekend. Lots of love to you all Hxxxx
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Hi Girls,
How are you? I’m quite good this week.
Helen, thanks for asking, this heat is really debilitating. Hope James is coping. Today has been a bit cooler as there were violent storms in the Milan area with hailstones larger than tennis balls and tornados!!! It’s frightening how the weather is so extreme now. I could have used an oven glove to hold the steering wheel when I got in my car after having it parked in sun when I was at work yesterday! Crazy!
Helen, you are doing lovely things to honour and remember your dear mum. I can appreciate It’s frustrating if your family members aren’t in the same mind set as you about the memorial, but as you say it needs to be a joint venture in your case. The things you are doing for mum are really unique.
It’s just me unfortunately so I am jotting down ideas for mum’s afternoon tea. I feel a bit wobbly about it tbh, but it’s going to be very relaxed and low key. I just want a few happy (hopefully) hours remembering mum in her home mainly with the family.
I had some awful news yesterday. A guy who had just been hired in our Miami branch was due to come over on Tuesday for training with us but didn’t make it as he committed suicide over the weekend.
I’m not sure of his age, I think less than 50. How utterly tragic. Life really is so fragile and we really don’t know the struggles we are all facing do we?
Deborah and Jules are you ok? Are we still going to do 16th August in Manchester?? Can you make it Jules? I’m getting excited about our meeting! It will give me something to look forward to after all the hard work in Gloucester. We booked the stadium tour and today I spent 20 minutes talking to Man United customer service about tickets. They are really hard to get and 14th is basically fully booked already!! Helen thank you so much for your kind offer but I think we will just stick to the stadium tour. Possibly at the last minute he said they ‘may’ release some tickets so Alex and Valerio are going to get a membership and we’ll see at the last minute. What a shenanigans it is with that club!
I know it’s much easier to get City tickets … a good reason to change teams 
!
I’m off to do a bit of ironing so bye for now.
Love to you all.
K xxxx
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Hi Girls,
just a quick message to say I havent checked on here for a few days as been away. Just to Cardiff which is approx 3hrs away to house hunt with my son. It has been years since I spoke to estate agents and mortgage people and it became a right eye opening for me . Scary also. I want him to buy a house but also the thought of him leaving home is making me feel someone else is leaving me although I know its very different to mum. I have been very emotional over it. OMG what am I like ! I feel daft even writing this. Its just been such a difficult year all round and this is just another thing to get used to. I am trying so hard to eb enthusiastic about it.
Helen I love all the things you are doing to remember your mum. I have done a few things. Have planted some poppy seeds that I found in a packet in her house that she had collected from poppies in her garden which were super pretty. So hopefully they will grow. I have also brought her pots back and planted colourful flowers in them so every time I look out of the window I see them. I love the idea of a bench so may get one.
Kate the idea of an afternoon tea is wonderful. I used to take mum to so many different places for afternoon tea and we loved them. I once took her to a Harry Potter afternoon tea and they had all sorts of props on the table for us to dress up in. The cakes were in bird cages and the drinks were different potions and cakes in plant pots etc. So lovely. When she was in hospital having her lung removed 4 yrs ago I made an afternoon tea for all 6 patients in her room and the nurses joined in also. It was such a lovely sight to see people who were very ill having a moment of being normal. I will always remember it.
Jules are you ok ? I expect you are busy in work. I really feel for you having to work going through all this grief as I do for you Helen and Kate. You are an absolute credit to your mums in carrying on doing your jobs and helping other people.
Today reminded me of work as it was the last day of school. Every last day we would all stand outside the school and shake hands with all the Year 6 leavers and at 3.15pm today I stopped for a moment and thought of them. They would all walk out with T shirts written with all sorts of messages, soaking wet as of course you have to have a water pistol fight on the last day and many were crying as it was their last day. I always dreaded the bell going and seeing them leave the school for the last time.
Yes I am ok for the 16th in Manchester. Can also do 8th 9th,15th and 17th if that helps. I have no idea where we can meet . What’s everyone thinking? Shall we meet for lunch? I will fall in with whatever you all decide.
I can’t wait to meet you all. I will bring the tissues.
Thinking of you all.
Big hugs
Deborah x
Hello ladies,
Have been checking in to see how you are all doing and reading about how we are all trying to live our lives without our lovely Mums. I have been busy ( I know we all are) so haven’t posted much. I can’t wait to leave Children’s Services now. I start my new job on the 1st September ( secondary school) and can’t wait for this new challenge. Less money. Less responsibility ( still challenging for certain) but I need a change. Let’s see where it takes me. Mum would approve ….
We are in Bude for a week from the 5th August to the 12th August and that’s all the leave I have before I start my new job. I won’t be able to make it if in August. I would still like to meet up at some point though so if you meet without me this time I would love to meet on another occasion?x
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Hi Jules,
Aww that is wonderful about the job Well done. You will love school life I would go back to working in a school in a heart beat.
It’s such a shame you cant make it if we meet up. Are there any other dates that we can make it work ? Helen and Kate any ideas?
Deborah x
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Hi Ladies,
Jules great news about the new job!! I’m sure your mum would definitely approve of your career change!
If Jules hasn’t any more time off in August I don’t know how we can fix an alternative date this time. Meeting in the week before her holiday would still mean taking a day off work and I understand that when changing jobs it can be tricky asking for time off.
I feel this will be the first of many meetings for us so I’m sure next time we will all be present for sure.
Love to all.
K xxxx
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Hi Girls, I think we are fixed with dates to when Kate is over so I think we’ll accept it will be Kate, Deborah and me this time. It’s a shame as we were all looking forward to seeing each other, but like Kate says, there will be other times. Sometimes all of us and sometimes not.
So it looks like 16th in Manchester. How does that sit with you Kate and Deborah? If you are looking at hotels, there’s a good deal on wowcher for the lovely Midland hotel including breakfast and dinner for about £130. I’d say an adult main course in Manchester is around £16-20. Might just be something to think about. I’ve tried the £30 travelodge deals in the past but I don’t think I’ve ever had a room less than about £80 and of course, it is room only. There’s a quirky tearoom called Richmond tearooms that might be nice to meet at. There’s also a really historic pub called the Old Wellington near the cathedral which is nice. Just a couple of ideas. There’s lots of places. I’m just looking forward to seeing you.
Jules, maybe me and Deborah can meet up with you in the autumn? Something to think about
Lots of love to you all. Hxxx
Hi Girls,
Just checking on any updates here. Yes that’s all fine with me.
I will travel up the day before even maybe on the Monday and make it into a few days away so it’s not a long journey all on the actual day. I don’t mind where we meet so any suggestions Helen will be great.
Yes of course we can meet up with Jules in the Autumn. That would be wonderful and Jules you can let us know how school life is going. And you will have the lovely school holidays to look forward to also. Don’t worry we will make it work so we can meet up with you.
I would love to visit the Cathedral. The last time I visited a Cathedral was with mum at Chester approx 2 years ago and we loved it.
Can’t wait to see you girls. It will be so lovely. I am already starting to cry so goodness knows what I will be like on the day. You will have to put up with a sobbing mess of a Welsh girl.
Ok so it’s final then 16th Aug in Manchester and we can finalise meeting arrangements the week before.
Have got a busy week ahead. Blood test , scan and oncology appointment. Every 6 mths to check on everything. I remember when we all first got in touch I had all my appointments so it hits home how the time has flown and its just over 6 mths that we all met. I can’t believe I have got through 6mths of grief.
Anyway wanted to share that I had another sign last night.
I had arrived home from Cardiff after house hunting for my son, meeting various estate agents , viewing houses and speaking to mortgage people and my head was really spinning with everything. I was alone in the house and was de stressing, picked mums photo up and started crying saying Mum I have had a hell of a day and got nowhere blah blah. I asked her if at all possible could she give me a sign that she could see and hear me and that I knew it might be impossible but if she could would she send me anything that night so I would be able to tell it was her. I had lit several candles in my lounge but the room still needed a lamp on. So after approx 10mins of saying what I said I walked over to the corner of the room and switched on the lamp on my sideboard. Plugged in the socket to the wall and its a touch lamp so put it on the highest. Ten minutes later whilst I was in the room the lamp just turned off on its own. I walked over to the photo and said Mum was that you? I actually laughed and it was the first time I had laughed whilst holding her photo. And I felt better immediately. It is so strange. Maybe it was just a coincidence but I don’t think so. The lamp has never switched off like that before and just after I had asked her.
Anyway today I have had a chilling day doing nothing much so far and bracing myself for all the appointments in the week.
Thinking of you all always and sending love to everyone
Deborah x
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Hi girls, the 16th it is! Can’t wait! I’ll definitely be putting my waterproof mascara on. Yes we can finalise everything the week before. It would be lovely to go in the cathedral. I’d like to light a candle for my mum. 🩷
That was certainly a sign from your mum Deborah. It’s far too much of a coincidence and your mum is using lights and candles again to let you know she’s with you. I love hearing when we’ve had signs. I’ve not had any signs recently but I will at some point. If you come up for a couple of days I can suggest some good places to visit. I’ll be working on the Monday, Tuesday and Thursday so don’t have any spare days to show you around apart from the Wednesday. I’m a 20 minute train ride from Piccadilly if you wanted to come up here one afternoon. The kettle is always on. I finish work at 2pm. No pressure to do that though, as I know time will be limited and I’ll see you on the Wednesday anyway.
Aww, Deborah, it’s a big milestone for us mums when our babies finally flee the nest. It really pulls in the heartstrings and is quite an adjustment. Cardiff isn’t too far though but it is still hard. It’s a mixture of sadness and huge pride that you did a good job. They always need there mums
I’m looking forward to seeing you my dear friends. Lots of love Hxxx
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Hi Girls,
Deborah I feel for you with your son leaving home. I won’t relish that day with Alex. I’ll never forget the day mum took me to my halls of residence at Llys-tal-y-bont in Cardiff. She got my room looking lovely then cried her eyes out! So emotional but you will still be nearish. He will love living in Cardiff !
Wow I’m getting excited now we have a date! I don’t care where we go it will be so emotional!
I had also thought about lighting a candle for our mums in the cathedral and we will raise a glass to them for guiding us to this lovely friendship fueled by our love for them!
Deborah we will be staying at the Leonardo hotel which is pretty central. I found a good price on booking. We will arrive mid afternoon on 14th. If you are already in Manchester and want to meet that’s fine. Are you driving up or taking the train?
Girls if you give me your numbers I’ll set up a whatsapp group so it’s easier to text.
Good luck with your hospital check up Deborah. This week will be an emotional one for me too as I’m flying over Friday. I’m frantically making lists about everything. Our meeting will give me something to look forward to and aim for!
Big hugs to you all!
K xxxx
Hi Girls,
How about we meet just outside the Cathedral then and go inside and light a candle for our mums and our friendships. Its probably easy to get to for us all. Then Helen you can take us anywhere that is near there like that pub you mentioned. Just a thought.
I am going to arrive on the 14th or 15th. Haven’t booked anywhere yet. Will look at that hotel Kate. My husband Paul will drive up and drop me off to meet you. I am useless at driving in big cities. We will probably just stay for the 16th then travel back on the 17th as have an appointment on the 18th.
The main thing is we shall meet and that is just wonderful.
Deborah x
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Hi girls, I’m more than happy to meet at the cathedral. I’m off all day so you girls can decide the time if it’s easier. Can’t wait! H
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Hello all,
I’m really sorry I can’t meet with you and join you on the 16th but hopefully there will be other occasions. It will be very emotional for you I’m sure. I will be thinking of you all and hopefully there will be some laughter among the tears and mum memories. I cried today for Mum after a few weeks of no tears. I dropped some social work textbooks at a friend’s house early as I found them in my parents house and thought I would give them back after hoarding them for so long. Anyway, when I knocked her front door I could hear her and her mum laughing and saw them dancing around the kitchen while getting the boys breakfast. Someone shouted I love you grandma and I just welled up. Over the last week I have also started to think Mum is still alive and I need to meet up with her and tell her my news. I then remember she has gone. I’m not in denial
I know she has gone but it just seems I can feel her presence at the moment. Anyone else feel like that? Jules x
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Hi girls,
Jules I get exactly the same. The other day I just had a massive meltdown and was almost screaming saying I have to see my mum. Lately I have had thoughts about people thinking I am getting through it ok and am coping ok with it. When in fact its the complete opposite I may look as though I am coping but it’s all an act and a very big act that I have to really work at to get through each day.
Someone I have known for 20years phoned me today asking how I was blah blah and I honestly thought they knew me so I said the truth. I said i wasn’t coping and that every day I cry and the tears are right there so I never know when I am going to cry because it just happens and that’s it I cant control them. I went on to say that I hardly go out much and that I don’t really want to bump into people as no one understands and that I prefer to stay in the safety of my house. They continued to ask had I been away much or on holiday etc to which I said just for a few days away other than that no. I said I had made a little shrine for mum in my lounge and that it was just her photo a cross candle flowers and a wax melt and that it was something to help me each day . Well wait for it They went on to say they thought I needed help from a professional as it had been nearly 7months. I got so upset because I actually trusted them to say something different as they had known me so long. I went on to say I was ok and that I had managed up until now and didnt need help but it only made things worse as they kept on and on. This person lost her mum approx 3 yrs ago so I thought she would understand fully. How wrong I was. It has made me rethink lots of things. I let my guard down today and will never do that again. I don’t really want to talk again to her because I know we are on different wave lengths. I am not going to pretend I am ok when I am not. I cant bear to have people tell me do this or that and you shouldn’t feel like this by now and all sorts of other things. I actually thought I was doing well and did manage to say to her that my grief journey was only starting. I was sobbing on the phone to her but it wasn’t my grief . It was because she was so matter of fact. Anyway tomorrow is another day as the saying goes so I shall pull myself together
Had another sign today. I brought mums large plant pots back to my garden and planted some flowers in them . Went to check on one of them and noticed they needed watering so went to get some water . On returning to the pot tucked right behind it out of sight was a pure white feather . I didnt even notice it when I first saw the pot needed water. It was as if mum was rolling her eyes as she always did and say don’t take any notice of the person who phoned me. I looked up to Heaven and said thank you mum.
I understand how you feel Jules because I last week Paul and I went for a meal to a restaurant I had been before with mum and when shown to our table there was a lady about my age with her elderly mum having a meal. Her mum had a walker just like my mum and the lady was helping her cut her food and they were having a lovely chatty time talking and laughing about all sorts. I noticed I kept looking over to them and my memories came flooding back. It was very hard to get through my meal because that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach was there all the time .
Helen I am looking forward too to meeting up. The Cathedral it is then and maybe you could take us to that pub near the Cathedral that you mentioned. I can meet anytime.
Kate that hotel you mentioned hasn’t got parking so I will have a look for one somewhere near the Cathedral that has parking. Paul said he will drop me off and pick me up when I am ready so all sorted. I will book somewhere soon. It will be just like a long lost family situation. Exciting, nervous and very emotional. Prepare yourselves because I will be in tears.
Jules we will arrange something with you whenever you can sort something and hopefully will be this year. We are friends for life now so there will be many many more meet ups.
Thinking of you all girls and sending lots of love to everyone
Deborah x
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Hi girls. Jules I can relate to that but my coping mechanism is that I will see mum again one day. I think ‘oh I’ll tell mum that when I see her’ I just have to believe that or I can’t cope. I’ve gone low again after picking myself up but I accept this is how it will be now. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself not seeing my grandkids as they live in America but I really don’t want to be that person. I’m not into self pity one bit and am usually more inclined to be positive but I know it’s just the vulnerability I’ve felt since losing mum.
Deborah, it’s strange isn’t it that people put their own expectations on us. How wrong to suggest you need professional help and keep going on about it. We are in a life changing, heartbreaking situation and still trying to navigate a new future. 7 months is nothing. If this has taught me anything it’s to invest in people who care about me and not bother with the others. Glad your mum gave you the sign.
I’m thinking maybe we could meet at 12 midday at the cathedral clock tower main entrance. We could sit and chat a while before we go in and then go somewhere for a drink and a bite to eat?
Jules I hope you enjoy your holiday in Cornwall. We can meet soon. I might be changing my job too soon. We need to do what makes us most happy.
Lots of love to you girls Hxxx
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Hiya everyone,
Helen that sounds wonderful. Just perfect. Can’t wait.
Today I feel much better than I did yesterday. I am determined not to let silly people drag me down when I have felt I was coping with things so far. No one is in my shoes so I am putting myself first. I am not going to allow anyone to hurt me again. If she contacts me again I shall say I am not in the mood for talking end of. It is what I should have done yesterday . I can understand how you feel Helen about your family being so far away I would be exactly the same. Book that ticket and jump on the plane asap.
My son is not going ahead with buying the house as it threw up so many problems Luckily his friend is an architect so scrutinised the plans and there were a few problems. So he is still looking.
Like you Helen I have a coping mechanism when I am at my lowest. I talk to mums photos as daft as it seems and then I feel so much better. I tell her where I am going and that I will be back whenever. It does help me . If I didn’t have something like her photo I dont know what I would do. I have a little ritual of dusting the area where her photo is changing the flowers lighting the candle and just spending time with her there.
What job are you changing to Helen? Do whatever makes you the happiest.
Kate how are tHE fires in Italy. Watched the news and thought of you as so many countries are affected.
Jules enjoy enjoy enjoy !!!
Love
Deborah x
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