Thanks Deborah. I’ve started looking for signs now… anything to feel mum close as we all are. Hope you are feeling a bit better. Sending love and strength.xx
Yes I am doing okish today except for my chest infection x
Thank you for replying
Thinking of you
Deborah x
Oh Kate, what a lovely thought. I definitely feel a connection with you. Maybe our mums knew we needed each other. 
I look forward to our chats on here. It’s been a massive help knowing someone else is going through this.
Yes, I was a young mum. I was pregnant at 19 and had my son at 20. It wasn’t in the plan! I tell my husband he got me up the duff to trap me!! Lol James will be 32 in July. 32?! I can’t believe I have a kid that old. James doesn’t have any children. My soon to be, 3 granddaughters are all my daughters doing. She started young too, she had Penelope at 22. She’s like an earth mother. That’s her great joy in life. I’m not sure she’ll stop at 3. It was hard when they left home. Took me about 3 years to accept we were no longer a family of 4. I enjoyed the noise and chaos of family life. Shame I don’t have that with the grandkids but I have my husband and dog, Stella who are quite noisy! I’d love to still have children at my age. 10 is such a lovely age as they still need you but also have a level of independence.
I was thinking about your mum and you and how hard it must have been to lose your dad at such a young age. Did your mum ever talk about it? How did she cope? My mum lost a baby boy at just 8 hours. I try and gain inspiration from mum that she still went on to be happy despite tragedy, like your mum did. I know I will have to find joy as I can’t allow myself to be miserable for too long. Each day of misery is a day that’s gone forever. I’m allowing myself to feel terrible right now, I can’t stop the feelings anyway but I’m always hopeful that it will get easier. Before mum died she said to me ‘we all have to lose our mums, Helen. I lost my mum and she lost hers. You feel sad at first but after a while you can think of them and smile at the memories’ I couldn’t respond at the time as was fighting back tears but I’m using that as a lesson from mum.
The sun is out here. Looks like a nice day. I’m taking dad to Tesco, then I’ll go back to his for a brew and do some of the jigsaw with him. Never been into jigsaws but they are helping me channel my mind. It’s nice to just sit with dad too. We don’t talk much but just being there is good. Have a good day Kate. Hxx
Hi Deborah, I’m glad to hear you managed to get out in the garden yesterday. Sorry you are so poorly right now. Not what you need in all this. I went for a run early in the morning. I was in the woods and was walking for a bit thinking of mum the whole time. Everywhere I looked there were white feathers. I wondered if it was my telling me she is okay. They made me smile anyway. I was out on my garden too yesterday afternoon with the nice weather. I am cutting loads of trees/bushes to get the garden ready for mums memorial in summer. I found it therapeutic. Afterwards I had a nice hot bath and a good cry for my mum.
The necklace is beautiful. It’s such a nice item to have to feel that connection with our mums. Can’t wait to get my ring.
Hope you feel better soon and can just focus on healing from this terrible grief we are going through. You aren’t alone love. I am thinking of you. Hxxx
Hi Helen,
Thank you for replying. Am a little better today. Just keep coughing so much with this awful cough.
Am trying to throw myself into sorting wardrobes and cupboards as I have things that I don’t need and need to get rid of It also helps me keep busy every day which is the main thing. I just walked around my garden and the fresh air did me the world of good. Had lots of memories of mum in my garden but had to try to smile even though I wanted to cry.
How are you Helen? Do you work ? I have retired now.
My mum would have been 90 next May and I am hoping to do a sort of garden afternoon tea here for a few people. She would have loved it as we had many in the past.
Deborah x
Ah bless… your dad must be feeling so lost after a lifetime with your mum. I bet he’s so glad he has you and your siblings. Apart from the terrible time he’s going through now does he keep well? You were definitely a young mum, but how lovely to now be a young grandma!
Sometimes I wish I’d have had another baby immediately… Alex adores kids… but his dad wasn’t of the same idea as me.
I promised Alex and mum that we’d get him a dog at least… and I definitely intend to keep my word on that!
Mum was 44 when dad died suddenly of a heart attack. He was 54 and that was his 3rd. He was so attentive to his diet, walked to work every day instead of taking the car… he even took his tea without milk!! He did have a stressful job and a family history of heart problems on both sides. In 1981 there weren’t the bypass surgeries that there are these days. He used to say there will be a procedure for bad hearts like mine soon…it was just so sad that he died before they became one a penny.
How did mum cope? I honestly don’t know. Unbelievably she lost her own mother from a massive stroke at 74 exactly 3 weeks after dad died. I cannot imagine the enormity of her grief bless her…only now can I relate. Dad died in the early hours of Father’s Day of all days. I didn’t witness it thank goodness as I’d gone to bed. Mum was planning to have her mum to come and live with us as she’d lost her husband the year before and dad was going to turn his office into a bedroom for gran but it was never to be.
Mum always said I was the reason she went on. I remember telling her that very day that we’d be ok and trying not to let her see me cry. In fact, she told me quite recently that she took me to the doctor’s after a few months because she was worried that I hadn’t properly cried and let my grief come out.
As I was 9 I guess I reacted as a child would, living very much in the present. I can’t remember feeling like I do now for sure. This feels like my first major loss.
Mum found it helpful to just talk about dad and her sister in law would come to see her every day and just listen to mum over cups of tea. I can totally relate to that need now.
I can definitely tell you that it will get easier, for many many years now I can think of dad with no sadness at all, just happy memories.
My dear mum also lost several babies to miscarriage and had a stillborn daughter in 1969 before having me… 
I was her last hope at becoming a mum she said.
I’ve been feeling very low today, I just miss her so much. Today is one of those days where I’m just putting one foot in front of the other trying to do what needs to be done. You are right, we must let ourselves feel the grief 100% now, but know that eventually it will get easier for us all. I’m so thankful for these virtual chats Helen.
Have you anything nice planned for the weekend?
Sending hugs.xx
I also lost my mum to COPD on New Year’s Day. I also called the ambulance and she died suddenly in hospital after apparently getting better. It’s been a little over a month and isn’t getting any easier. My mum was 64.
Hi Kate. Oh my that must have been terrible for your mum and you. Losing her mum straight after her husband and you losing your gran. I can’t imagine. I do get some inspiration from people like your mum who go on to live happy lives after such tragedy. You must have been such a blessing in her life.
Losing mum has made me really aware of my own mortality in a way I never thought before. I try and push those thoughts away when they appear but it’s a really strong feeling. I’m also paranoid about someone else dying. My husband Tom has a very strong cancer trail in his family. His mum and dad both died of cancer and his sister has survived it twice. With the shock of mums diagnosis and then death 8 days later has made me feel so vulnerable and thinking ‘who’s next?’ If he has a beer now I can’t help but say something like ‘You know that increases your risk of cancer?’ I must be such fun to live with right now! I also woke in the night going over and over the diagnosis, questioning if they’d got it right as they couldn’t do a biopsy. Why didn’t I insist she went to the doctors earlier with that cough? It’s torture really and completely futile. I’ve woke up with anxiety about it all. We’re going for another walk today in the Peak District so I’m hoping that makes me feel better. Because my dog is 11 she can’t do the big walks anymore so my dad is looking after her.
My dad is a huge worry right now. He doesn’t really have any friends as he just did everything with mum and that was enough for him. My dad is 79. He had a heart attack when he was 59 which he survived as he was defribilated immediately (it happened at Man City’s ground during a match) He had emergency bypass surgery which was a success. Over the last 20 years he’s needed a couple of stents, has had a mini stroke and has COPD. He’s surprisingly fit considering. He and mum went in a cruise around Australia the year before last and Norwegian fjords just on September. Mum was the driving force behind all their adventures so not sure how dads life will be now. He walks unaided just a bit slower. We thought dad would go before mum. I feel very protective towards dad now. I’m seeing him almost everyday. He’s becoming an old man very quickly since mum died and doesn’t really talk about her. It’s not great really. It’s good fir him to have Stella for the day as he loves her and will get out to walk her. Mum and dads dog died a week before mum so massive changes for dad as well as us.
You say you are feeling particularly low right now. I think it’s to be expected. If you can just go with it and cry it out. You know, and I’m just starting to see, there are better days. We just have to ride these waves right now. I try not to think about the future too much as cannot envisage it without mum. If you manage to just function for a day, that’s okay. We have to allow these emotions as they come. It’s still very early days for us. It’s going to take a long time to adjust and accept our new life now. I’m expecting to always feel pain about mum but for it to become a normal feeling in my life. I don’t know. Who knows. I just hope in a year that I’m not still crying as much and I’ve had some fun and joy by then. Thinking of you Kate and our mums. These chats are an absolute godsend to me, glad they are helping you too. Lots of love Hxx
Hi Deborah, I’m glad you are feeling a bit better. Hopefully your cough will clear soon. I find even just getting out in the garden, hearing the birds and feeling the wind is a tonic. We are going through one of the worst, if not THE worst time of our lives. It is difficult to see joy in anything. I feel when I do things like go for a walk as we did today, I’m physically doing it but my mind is always with mum. Everything in my head is mum. ‘Mum would love this, mum used to like this, mum was still with us when we last did this’ There was a poster in the pub for a band they had playing. It had been left up from last November. That just made me think ‘mum was still with us then’ we had absolutely no idea that she had cancer and would be gone within a few weeks. We thought she had a chest infection as her cough got worse and she became breathless on Boxing Day . We took her to A&E and after X-rays etc was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 days later. Poor mum was on the highest dose oxygen and those bastard doctors (sorry but I’m fuming) just gave her that bombshell when she was all on her own, struggling to breathe and had just asked her if she wanted to be resuscitated! I haven’t got the energy to write to them but I will do. My poor mum had to spend the night knowing that news as they told her about 8.30pm after we’d left from visiting her. It makes me cry just thinking about her trying to absorb that death sentence without any family with her! She was so brave. It’s all consuming right now. These things go over and over in my head when I wake in the night.
I will be 52 in March. I still work but am lucky I can work part time. I’m a practice nurse in a GP practice but am hoping to get my old job back which is mostly wound care, catheters and flushing chemotherapy lines. Mum knew I had never really taken to practice nursing and was asking me what I was going to do about my job before she died, bless her. When I said I wasn’t sure she just took my hand and said ‘Helen love, you do what makes you most happy’ so I am taking her advice as I was happier in my old job. Thanks mum, I love you mum What did you work as before you retired? Do you have a family? Are you originally from Wales? I have family around the Wrexham area
I am intending my mum to continue to be a huge part of my life somehow. I’ll never let go of her. Her spirit and soul are entwined in mine forever. It’s hard that we have to live without physical contact but somehow we have to find a way like they did when their mums died. I believe I will see mum again and that’s keeping me going right now. It’s the hardest thing ever isn’t it? We will get through this. We just have to find a way. Take care and keep in touch Hxx
I’m so sorry you lost your mum. Such a young age too which adds another layer to your grief. Please know that what you are feeling is normal. It is so early and raw. I lost my mum 15th January after being diagnosed with lung cancer just 8 days prior. I’m still trying to come to terms with it all. I’m just so sad and miserable everyday. Some days are a bit better than others. Please allow yourself to go with your grief. If you need to cry, scream, get angry etc just do it. Listen to your feelings and allow to get out. I have found this forum a massive help. Just knowing that others understand and are feeling the same is a massive help. Sending you my love and thoughts Helen xx
Hi Helen 51,
Everything you have written resonates with me so much.
The doctors asked my mum also about her feelings for resuscitation when she was on her own and had just been admitted to A and E with sickness. I had just left the hosp to go back to her house and get clean clothes for her. I had a phone call at home withing 20mins of leaving her asking the same so I returned to the hosp immediately as i refused to discuss her end of life on the telephone with the doctor. When I returned to A and E mum was sitting up in bed reading a magazine when they gave me the hard sell about resuscitation and when i refused to agree with them they said I was being cruel and then left They returned an hour later stating they had over ruled me so I was so helpless. It’s a long story after that but after telling me mum would die that nigh she lived for 5 weeks. 21/2 in hosp then i insisted on taking her hone for a further 21/2 weeks. I will never forgive them and like you I am putting a letter together when I feel able to do so. The only thing that would have saved her was an operation and they refused bec of her age being 89. There was no compassion when they told me and right in front of mums bed where she could hear everything and with curtains dividing us form people in the next bays. Just awful.My mum left school at 14yrs and worked full time all her life I just felt she deserved better.
Like you I am intending to make sure mum is with us always and have already put a beautiful photo of her in my lounge with a candle. It is a small gesture but it has helped me so much so far.
I used to be a Headteacher but after 25 yrs I decided enough was enough then I had cancer so my working days are over I am 64 yrs now so I feel its time to relax. My cancer is hopefully under control if there is such a word but fingers crossed everything will be ok at my next scan . Mum and I had cancer together well within a few weeks of one another so we went through so much together. We both had major operations and came through it and thankfully I had mine in June 2018 then she had hers in Nov 2018 so I could go through everything with her. It was a terrible time for both of us.
I may when i get through this a little better start a craft business of some kind and that will get me out and about ie to craft fayres and events and meet people as my life for the past 10 yrs has been caring for mum. Not sure what it will be yet but something I can do from home and in my own time with no stress involved.
Yes I have a family . A husband and 27yrs old son who is based with us at home but travels for work all over the place.
Yes born and lived in Wales all my live We live in Pembrokeshire in South Wales Its a beautiful part of Wales with stunning beaches etc on our doorstep. Have you ever visited here?
Am thinking of you and any time you want to message me please do so x
Deborah x
Hi Helen.
I know what you mean about having health anxiety. I too get paranoid about everything too.
The fact that your mum’s diagnosis was so out of the blue is bound to make you doubt and question everything. But try to think that it was so completely random, as you say your mum was so fit there is no way you could have possibly known. I too keep thinking what if I forced mum to go to see a doctor or hospital? Could she have been saved? Would she still be here now or was her heart just too weak that the end was inevitable?
Your dad was very lucky to have been saved like that. Does he remember anything about the cardiac arrest?
I just hope mum didn’t feel anything, I hope it was quick for her at least. There’s just no nice way to go is there? Sudden or expected, it’s just awful for those of us left behind asking why.
It must be so difficult for your dad now, especially at his age and the fact he relied on your mum so much. It’s so hard when the stronger one goes first.
I just feel that I’m on autopilot at times, working, being a mum, doing the usual things, but the emptiness inside is overwhelming. I am sometimes so short tempered and miserable, on a short fuse (also premenopausal no doubt!!), but I know that it’s to be expected. I’ll never be the same as I was before. I also want mum to be in my life and will do all I can to keep her memory alive. When I try a new recipe I say to Alex Gaga would have liked this… Gaga would say this… etc.
When I think I’ll never be able to cook her her favourite roast beef dinner again …it just consumes me with sadness. As does thinking what we used to do or places we went together and that’s here. It will be so much worse when I go back to Gloucester.
These days are almost Spring like, I feel like mum is saying “chin up Kate” when the sun starts shining.
We have to realise that our mums want us to be happy, but right now that’s easier said than done. How was your walk? Hope you had a good day. Kxx
Hi Kate, the walk was magnificent. There was such a strong wind up on the tops it was bracing. I felt so alive but then sad mum has lost that. Then we went to a pub in Castleton where they had a roaring fire. It was just lovely. Welled up in the pub though because as usual, my topic of conversation went back to mum. I am controlling it better now. At first I daren’t go out in public as I knew if I started crying I wouldn’t stop. That’s a step forward I guess.
When my dad had his heart attack it was a full cardiac arrest. It was a miracle he survived it. We’ve asked him about it and he has absolutely no recollection of it whatsoever. He hit the ground hard but felt nothing as he was completely out of it before he fell. He felt no pain. He said he was at the football watching the game then woke up in hospital. It was the immediate defibrillation that saved him and he was still only 59 then. I hope that gives you comfort knowing your mum would have known nothing about it. I think for the person it is the best way to go but is just harder for the family left behind. Honestly, if I could choose my death it would be how your mum died. Just getting on with life and then gone the next with no knowledge of it.
I think if anything positive can come out of this hell it’s that I feel closer to my siblings. I also realise how lovely certain friends are who’ve checked in on me. I value our friendships much more now. I also intend to do what mum said ‘live a long and happy life’ I don’t yet know how to be happy but I will try my best. When I feel ready I might go on some of the amazing trips my mum went on after she’d retired. She went on a cruise around Australia, loved Singapore and New England USA. She just loved every holiday, even the train trips with afternoon tea in Yorkshire were such a treat for her. She appreciated everything. Was so positive and always saw the good in people. I’m going to endeavour to be more like her in that sense. My mindset is I’ve just got a bit more life to live until I see mum. She’s just gone ahead of me. It just helps me but I guess we all find our own coping strategies.
How are you feeling today? Are you still feeling low? Just remember it is normal and we are allowed to feel down. I’m expecting my grief to just hit me randomly as the months go by. Maybe I think I’ve moved forward but then a really bad day out of the blue. We just have to let it happen.
Have you considered renting out the house in Gloucester for a while? It might be a stepping stone to getting rid of it completely. You will still have that link but it will give you time to process it’s not your family home anymore. Well you have to do what’s easier for you and if that is just selling it then that’s what you have to do. There’s no guidebook to this is there? We are just scratching in the dark, trying to find any little rays of sunshine. Have a good Sunday Kate. Speak soon Hxx
Hi Helen
So glad you had a good day out! I honestly believe a change of scenery helps enormously. I just love and miss British pubs!
That is very comforting to hear about your dad. He was so lucky and yes as you rightly say, it’s probably the better way to go, just so hard for those left grieving in shock. We were living on borrowed time, if only I had realised this I would have said and done so much more.
I don’t know why I’m feeling so low, maybe because Spring is on it’s way and mum was always on her way to visit now or in March. The new beginnings are without her this year, I’m an emotional mess at times and I always knew this time of the year would be tough.
It must be even more difficult for you as your mum was very active still and enjoying her life. She went to some amazing places! Mum was becoming very fragile over the last year or so and although we tried to include her in everything we did, day trips, holidays etc it was all becoming a struggle. It’s just so strange that deep down I didn’t want to acknowledge it, admit it to myself maybe.
This is probably the one time in my life that I really wish I wasn’t an only child, the support you can give each other is priceless.
I’ll see how I feel when probate comes through, renting could be a possibility. Just the day before she died, mum said let’s just sell the house Kate. I’m definitely more attached to it than she was. Mum was a lot more courageous, pragmatic and sensible than me, I’ve always been very nostalgic and probably over sensitive.
I’m hoping this moment will pass… grief is such a rollercoaster isn’t it? Here it’s carnival, kids and some adults dress up, throw confetti everywhere and some impressive carnival floats made entirely by locals go on parade. We are taking Alex out to see them so at least I’ll get some fresh air and vitamin D!
Thanks for your advice Helen, I always feel better after reading the messages. Sending love.Kxx
Hi Deborah, I hope you are having a better day today and your chest infection is clearing. I’m really struggling today. My eyes are sore from crying. I’ve done better the last couple of days but it’s all come crashing down today. Today is mum and dads anniversary and I can’t stop thinking about my lovely young mum and dad all happy this day 57 years ago and how excited they were for their future life together and now it’s over and my poor dad is all on his own. I just feel so sad and low today. I just miss mum so much and would do anything to have her back. I miss her lovely kind voice and her enthusiasm for anything I did. She was such a wonderful person. She helped loads of people out in their hour of need. She was so kind. It’s so unfair that she was taken at 78. I feel like I can’t cope without her. Life is just too hard now. We were all so happy when mum was here. Now everything has changed and we are all so sad.
We have a campervan and went through snowdonia down the south west coast to Cardigan bay where we stayed a couple of nights. We travelled up along the coast and spent a couple of nights in Barmouth. This was a couple of summers ago. It’s so beautiful. Stunning coastline and scenery. I wanted to take mum and dad to Barmouth this summer but now I can’t ever do that.
It’s such a support just talking to you on here. You know what hell I’m going through. Thinking of you Hxx
Hi Kate, yes, mum being so fit and active does add more layers to my grief. I have to stop myself being angry and also I can totally relate to the constant questioning ‘why didn’t I insist she went to the doctors when she’d been coughing for over 3 weeks?’ ‘Was it really lung cancer?’ ‘Could she have been saved?’ ‘Has my mum really gone?’ I’m having a really tough day today. It’s mum and dads wedding anniversary 57 years and I just feel so terribly sad. I’m missing her so much. I wish this wasn’t my reality. I’d do anything to have her back. Who knew it would be this hard. I’m just so sad today.
My mum loved the spring. She loved nature and the new life. She would always comment on the leaves in spring being a vibrant fresh green. She just loved life so much
Nice that Alex is keeping you grounded and makes you do things. Kids are brilliant for that. You just have to keep going. Enjoy the carnival. Let’s hope the clouds lift a bit for us soon and we start to feel better. Thinking of you Hxx
Hi Helen,
oh I do feel for you on your parent’s wedding anniversary. All the special days are going to be so hard. I’ve already gone through my birthday and Christmas. I just felt quite numb really, functioning on autopilot.
Mum loved Christmas and Christmas was mum for me. It was so tough but we got through it. Again, having Alex to focus on helped enormously.
I too am wondering when the questions, doubts and what ifs in my head will stop. It’s a normal part of grief, but remember that in hindsight everything is more clear to us. We did the best we could with what we knew at the time. There is no way we could have known that the end was near. How often do we have coughs that linger on for months… especially through the winter, but we don’t automatically imagine the worst.
Our mums knew how much we loved them and that we would have done anything in our capability to put their health first, but it was out of our hands.
I’m feeling a bit better today, more positive. These waves are to be expected I guess. how are you feeling today?
Sending love.Kxx
Hi Kate, glad you’re feeling better. I am too. I actually met up with a friend yesterday. It was good because we could just talk about our mums as she lost her mum 3 years ago and really struggled like us for quite a while. She’s okay now. She said she still
misses her mum but it’s become a normal part of life. She can’t look at photos etc and has put them all in a box under her bed. She just has one in her purse. I’m going to make a treasure chest with photos, cards, letters etc to put all that stuff away as it’s too upsetting when I come across them. Not sure what to do about all the voicemails and text messages from mum. I want to delete them all but worried I might regret it later so just ignoring them all for now. At the moment I’m letting myself get upset as I think that’s healthy but in future I will probably avoid anything that makes me sad.
Even mine and Toms anniversary will be sad because mum always made a fuss of us and if it was a big one like 25th or 30th she’d book us a weekend away in a nice hotel bless her. She was such a sweetheart. She just delighted in doing things like that. I’m not celebrating my birthday in 2 weeks and probably won’t celebrate other events this year. Christmas will be the last of the ‘firsts’ without mum as it will be nearly a year. If the kids come home for Christmas I’ll try and get in the spirit but if it’s just me and Tom we’ll probably just go for a long walk or something.
I’m quite tense this week as back in work on Thursday which I’m dreading. Not just because I’m worried I’ll be emotional but also because I’ve decided to go back to my old job. I’m just waiting for some hours to become available. It’s just, knowing you are leaving makes it hard to absorb yourself in the job. Your head isn’t in it. So it’s a double whammy in that sense. The positives are getting some normality back will do me good.
My friend I saw yesterday was a good therapy. I’ve been questioning the cancer diagnosis. I know deep down it was, they were 2 specialist consultants agreeing it was, but because mum was too ill for biopsy so the cells couldn’t be examined under microscope has left me with questions. My friend is a specialist nurse at Christie (cancer) hospital in Manchester. She reassured me they were right and also made me see the positives that mum didn’t go through months of gruelling treatment that would have been futile anyway. I’ve felt better since seeing Jo. Another positive is how much this has made me value friends and family. I keep telling everyone I love them! They’ll be sick of me soon! Lol when I’m feeling totally lost without mum, it helps me to list in my head ‘Tom hasn’t died, my kids haven’t died, my sisters haven’t died etc’ it gives me perspective and changes my mindset a little. It’s another coping strategy I’ve developed. We will all find our own way in this. I know I will miss mum forever though but no amount of crying is going to bring her back but cry we must at this stage.
In terms of your house, I was just thinking if the pain of letting it go is too much right now, renting it out would mean you still have the house but you can’t visit anymore. It would be like a stepping stone. You can just let the letting agency take care of everything. Rents have skyrocketed over here. They’d just take more percentage of the rent for more involvement but in time you could sell it or keep it. It’s just difficult making big decisions right now. You just have to do what feels right.
I feel for you having to go back to the house though. I always take a deep breath before I go to see dad as it’s so hard being in their house without mum. She was always knitting or reading the paper or coming in from a walk. She was such a huge presence in the house, it’s empty without her. Dad being so quiet is not right. He was always making jokes. We used to just laugh in that house and now it’s just so somber. I try and lighten the mood but he’s just not engaging much.
This next year is a big one for both of us. So many life changes to adjust to. Let’s hope in a year we will look back and realise how far we’ve come and how much better we feel.
Have a good day Kate. Speak soon Hxx
Thank you Deborah. Absolutely. It’s such an individual thing. We all had our own personal relationship with our mums so the way we grieve is going to be different.
Hope you’ve managed to get out again. I think we are all glad that winter will be over soon and spring is on its way but sad at the changing season that our beautiful mums won’t see.
After a terrible couple of days, I am feeling a bit better. I will ‘enjoy’ it while it lasts as I know the worst of the pain will be back soon. I’m trying to encourage my dad to come for tea later so I can make him pancakes. We also have a jigsaw on the go which has been so good to channel the mind. It’s nice just to sit with someone without having talk. Just doing something together is soothing for the soul.
Thinking of you too. Sending you love and thoughts Hxx