I can get a couple of days off work whenever, but I don’t think I can make Easter week ( wc 21/4) as Alex will be off school and we usually have a regional football tournament booked in advance with his team.
I’ll start looking at flights. As I said previously, Manchester is a perfect location to get to from Bologna. Oh exciting… I’ll be happy to go back to Blighty!! 
K xxx
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Ladies, Mother’s Day next year in Uk is 30th March. Maybe we could even meet up around then, we could support each other and do something to honour our mums at the same time?
Just an idea…
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All fine with me. Just tell me where and when lol.
How about an afternoon tea or lunch in some fancy hotel
Maybe the week after Mother’s Day or the week before?
Anyone else have any ideas
We are all spread out in the furthest areas. Trust us girls lol x
Would the new ladies like to join us?
You are all welcome
Deborah x
@seychelles yes, I’m trying to let myself go with how I’m feeling. Other times I think I’ll be ok but then it suddenly sweeps over me. Like yesterday I walked past my old office (I started at a new company in March) and realised the last time I’d been near it my mum was alive. Then started thinking about how I’d always be on the phone to her at lunch times in that area and how neither of us had any idea this is where we would end up. Those thoughts always tend to spiral.
Yes, my dog is my world. He was like my mums son and is like my brother. Sounds crazy but he really is my family! I’ll share a photo of him for sure.
I’d love to join you all in sharing things about my mum. I really like hearing about all of your wonderful mothers.
Mine just loved it when we went shopping in fenwick. We always take Harvey (the dog) with us and would go for a glass of fizz at the bar in the shop. She’d advise me what to buy and I would her and we’d come home all excited with our purchases. We’d usually do it on a Friday then have supper on the sofa as a treat watching coronation street and then a Korean drama - she had recently got into those and thought the men were gorgeous! She’d always say “oh their bodies”. I’d laugh and say “mum!!” Pretending to be outraged 
It’s so nice to hear about your mum at Christmas. It’s so hard but we do have to find a way to honour them, don’t we? Through our sadness, of course. But they so wanted us all to be happy and have good lives. Gosh. I’m welling up now like you!
@Helen51 I’m so sorry about your mum. Like your dear mum, mine was also 78 but seemed so much younger, she was so fit and healthy. Gosh that shock and speed is devastating isn’t it? And your poor dad too. It feels so cruel and unfair. I keep saying to my partner that I don’t understand it all. I don’t know how else to articulate what I’m feeling. I can’t explain it. But I think it’s shock. As you say, the processing and somehow taking it in. I’m just so sorry and sad we are all here. We are all on this awful journey, aren’t we?
Julest (I’m a new user so I can’t tag you as well apparently) I’m so sorry for you as well. It’s all too much in such a short space of time. You’re all so strong though, you really are. I’ll be thinking of you next week. I understand the guilt but you obviously loved her so so much. And she will have known and felt that too. I think when someone so precious dies we overthink and guilt is unavoidable. You just have to remember how much she loved and loves you still. And hold that close. That’s something that endures.
Thinking of you all and sending love and strength. Thank you all so much for talking. Lxx
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I’d love to join the meet up. I’m in London but used to travel to Manchester for a day every week for work. I’ve got family in Stockport, Macclesfield and Alderley. I love Manchester! And it does give us all something to floor forward to, doesn’t it? Lxx
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Hi Lucy,
Whereabouts in London are you? I was up there two weeks ago visiting my sister in a place called Bushey. I think Stanmore is the nearest underground.
How do you cope with the fast speed of life lol. Took me 20 mins to cross a small road when I was up there lol.
Deborah x
@seychelles lol at the road crossing! It’s true though. I live in north London Near East Finchley. My friend takes her dog walking at a park in Bushey! Did you have a nice time? I work in central London, right in the middle of it all. I’m a born and bred Londoner so it’s always been normal for me but recently I’ve found it busier and busier. It’s changed so much in the last ten years. Up in north London it’s quieter though and feels more peaceful. I love the countryside and try to go as often as possible. Lxx
Hi Lucy,
Just looked on the map and I saw Brent Cross is near you. My sister is always going on about that. Will have to visit there sometime.
Yes I know the park you are on about. My sister used to take her dog there too! Small world !!!
I have retired now but when I worked I had approx 7 miles to reach where I worked and sometimes I never passed a car lol. A few pheasants and that was it !
I often felt a bit like Postman Pat as all the locals knew me from my daily routine.
I used to love visiting London and going to a show and sightseeing but everything seems pointless now.
Are you managing to get through each day a little better? In the beginning I didn’t know how to function let alone get through a day. Reading other people’s posts helped me to get some sort of plan together and I put into place a few things. I set up a corner of my lounge devoted to mum. I put flowers, a candle, photos, a cross, an ornament so I had a place to focus on. I kept a notebook of some of the things she said before she passed so I wouldn’t forget them. I made a photo display of different stages in her life. I included items from her house into my house eg a cushion, artificial flowers , comfort blanket, plants, ornaments,and some of her furniture. It all helped me.
I brought plants back from her garden and planted them here along with anything I could salvage like solar lights etc. Anything to surround me with memories of her even though it was very painful and still is. But as time has gone by I have gained comfort from them instead of tears as was the case in the beginning.
Anyway they are just a few ideas for you.
Sending love
Deborah x
Oh Lucy! I live in Stockport (Romiley). I know Macclesfield. Alderley edge is rather up market. It’s where all the footballers live. It does look like I’m the most central to everyone.
Jules, my sister-in-law used to live in Hampshire. It’s a lovely county.
I can do any date and don’t have small children to contend with. Is a weekend easier for everyone? Xxx
Deborah, an afternoon tea would be lovely and if any us want to light some candles for our mums (and dads) Jules, I hope you are okay. The world feels strangely empty during it when you lose both parents? It’s a tough one. I still can’t believe it! How can it be?! I know it’s true but fully accepting it is going to take a long time. Lots of love Hxxx
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Hi Kate, that would be lovely. I might be meeting up with my sisters on the actual date itself but maybe the weekend before or after? Once we’ve got the date we can start planning what we can do. Looking forward to it so much. Lots of love Hxxx
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I’m from Gavin and stacey territory. 0find this forum really helpful.
@seychelles it is a small world isn’t it? (Also thanks to our dear mums, I’m convinced!). Brent Cross is where the fenwicks is that I said my mum and k would go to. We loved Brent Cross. And it’s dog friendly too. So lovely Harvey always joined us!
Love the idea of you as postman Pat.
I do live a community. I have to say my road and little area in London is very close. Most of us know each other, say hello, go over for a cuppa or a glass of wine to each others houses. But it’s also thanks to my mum. She knew and chatted to everyone. So many people from our street came to her funeral.
It sounds like we all had such special mums. Really. It’s such a link.
I’ve had a very bad day today. Been very tearful and somehow not understanding how quick it all was.
Gosh, I love the idea of the special corner. I think I’ll set something up tomorrow. Thank you. I want to be able to see her and honour her Ben if it also makes me sad sometimes. I know it will also make me smile.
What lovely ideas. I’ll be planting a rose for her next summer. And she always wanted an olive tree.
Oh it’s nice to think of these things.
Lots of love. Lxx
@Helen51 how funny! I live Stockport (probably sounds weird to say that haha). Well, if I’m accurate my dad was from mottram St Andrew. And a long time ago. Way before all those fancy footballers. My favourite thing in Alderley was always wienholt bakery and some good Parkin!
It really is a small world isn’t it?
Hope you’re doing ok this weekend.
Lxx
@Julest and @Helen51 my dad was almost fourteen and a half years ago now. And my mum not seven weeks. I know it’s closer for those of you on here but I do also understand that terrible feeling when both of your parents have gone. It really is a whole new you to learn to understand and be. I don’t know if I ever will to be honest. We just have to keep going somehow. My favourite thing with my mum, or one of them, was to spend a day doing nothing. Cups of tea and tv together chatting for hours. I could’ve done that for days on end. I find now I just have to stay so busy, that’s so unlike me. I’m usually a bit of a sloth!! But I have to keep myself distracted I think.
Anyway, love and strength in these awful days of double loss. And to everyone else as well, of course. Lxx
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Hi Everyone,
Just thought I would let you know I have the dreaded COVID so if you dont hear from me for a few days it’s bec of that. Been feeling really unwell for the past few days so know I know why.
Have read all your posts and it would be great if we can make it happen and meet up.
Was also wondering about Ange as she hasn’t posted in a while. Let us know you are ok Ange x
Milliemobs you are not that far from me.
Right am off to dosing myself up
Love Deb x
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Oh no Deborah sorry to hear you are feeling unwell. Lots of rest and hopefully you are feeling better soon x
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Take care, wishing you well. Don’t think I’ve had covid but did lose my sense of smell about 18 months ago. Slowly coming back, can smell artificial scents but not natural ones like flowers or spoiled milk.
My mum passed/died 21 March. Hadn’t thought about mother’s day but have come across mother’s day cards i won’t get to send- what do i do with them now?!?! Xmas was our thing. Since i was a teenager (many moons ago) i decorated mum’s house and bought or made the decorations will be hard not to do it this year.
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Hi Everyone
Deb, hope you are feeling better now.
Helen I’m guessing you are in USA now having fun with your lovely girls. I bet the atmosphere is electric over there with the election!!
Hope Jules, Gill, Lucy and everyone else is doing ok?
Girls, I have to share what I think is the first dream of mum where I actually remember it well and I’m trying to figure out what it means…
It happened on Saturday to Sunday night which had just been the day of the commemoration of the departed here in Italy.
In my dream I was at mum’s house. I went in through the front door and the house was empty as I last saw it in February. It was cold and there was a thick mist/fog looking up the stairs and then I went into the lounge where again it was foggy and I couldn’t see well. It felt a bit eerie.
I paused before opening the closed door to the kitchen and I just felt so sure that mum would be in there.
I opened the door and mum was in fact sat on a chair next to the back door which was wide open. She was looking down/outside ( not at me) and smiling and looked well and peaceful. There was no fog in that room and I could see her clearly. I felt I wanted to hug her but I didn’t (I felt almost frozen to the spot… this part was a little disappointing).
Anyhow I turned around for some reason then looked back at the chair but it was empty this time. Then I woke up.
It was a very vivid albeit a brief dream. I must have woken around 2am and after that dream I just couldn’t get back to sleep. I felt relieved as mum seemed at peace, but I’m wondering if it was a visitation dream or what it means.
Does anybody here have any ideas?
Love K xxxx
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