Deb that beach is stunning. You are so lucky to live in that beautiful corner of the world😍. K Xx
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Hi Helen. I love the idea of you wearing your mum’s pinny! She’ll be with you whilst you are cooking away I’m sure. 
K xxx
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Aww Helen I have mums Christmas apron too. She used to make the most amazing stuffing and white sauce and I always meant for her to show me but never got round to it. I will wear the apron and say mum please help me get it like yours.
I am right smack in the zone of looking back 2yrs ago when mum started getting ill and was in and out of hospital three times. Who on earth would have thought she wouldn’t be here for the New Year !!!
Wouldn’t it be fab if only we could sit on that beach together Helen x
I would love to show you and everyone around Pembrokeshire. We have so many beautiful places to visit.
Looking back on past Christmas memories I remember mum making paper chains with us and cutting the crepe paper and fringing them and putting two colours together and twisting them to make long garlands. I am probably the only one who did that as it was in the 60’s lol. We used to make such a lot of Christmas crafts with her. Collecting pine cones from walks and putting them on heaters to open then decorating them, cutting up old christmas cards to make tags etc. Oh my goodness life is so much easier now but is it fun though because we had great fun doing things like that.
Does anyone else remember doing anything like that ?
Anyway the weeks are flying past and it will all be over before we know it.
Love to everyone
Deborah x
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Sorry to put a downer on the last few positive messages, but it’s 14 weeks & 2 days since my darling mam passed, I’ve had quite a few significant events since then, probate going through, her house on the market, but the most significant one was seeing her inscription on her headstone!, totally utterly crucified me, to see her name ‘set in stone’ was heartbreaking 
, I miss her so, so much
Big hugs to everyone xx
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Hello formamajoan, You’re not putting a downer on things. Such is the chaos of grief. We take the good days with the bad… We are all here because we have lost somebody we love… We all understand the highs and the lows. I lost Dad 5 weeks ago and Mum Dec 2022. Dad’s funeral was last week and this week has been tough. My eyes are sore from the tears… I had two weeks off from work ( I work in a Secondary school - Safeguarding) and losing myself in the business of it all. I have a loving husband and children but somehow feel like life will never be the same for me. I wish I could turn back the clock and see my Mum and Dad again for just one moment xx
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Hi all, yes, formamajoan, I felt this too when my Mum’s headstone finally went up. It was a relief as it was difficult to organise (took a year!) But it felt like another layer of grief. I love the design and inscription but, like you say, very final.
I have held on to the most random things from 2023, like calendars and my diary from that year, almost like wishing if I could turn back the pages, it would reverse things? It feels strange to read my entries from the months before she died, as I was completely unaware of what was to happen. I dream of being back there in the “before” where life was normal, and my Mum was here, always listening and loving.
Sometimes I wish I could be with her wherever she is now, rather than here. Life seems very empty…maybe it was anyway, but it is much more lonely and feels kind of pointless in a way it wasn’t before. G xxx
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Formamajoan, please don’t think you are putting a downer on the group. You are definitely not! Some of us here are a lot further along on this awful journey. When you read the more positive posts please take comfort knowing it does get easier.
It will be 2 years this coming January since I lost my darling mum and a year this Boxing Day since losing my wonderful dad. I’ve had a dreadful 2 years and still cry but I am feeling more positive about life. I’m fortunate to have a really strong belief that I will see them again. Somewhere. That helps me a lot. I feel I need to start living again. You will too at some point. It might be a year, it might be 5 years. It doesn’t matter.
Keep posting and being as honest as you need to no matter how sad. Those of us feeling a bit more positive will not be brought down by your post. Not at all. We remember those feelings and are here to empathise, support and just listen. Believe me I’ve vented some things straight from my heart!! If you read any of our early posts you’ll see that.
Keep posting. I’m so desperately sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. Helen xxx
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Just for information for the newer members:
If you want to read posts from earlier on, when you first come on here and there’s a blue box with the post number (1828/1828 or something at the moment) just tap on that, then tap ‘jump to’ and then type the number of the post you wish to see. It comes up with the current number next to it so just type that in if you want the latest post. If you want an earlier one type in number 20 or whatever.
Just easier than scrolling through.
Hope that helps xxx
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Me again! Just going to put this out there as a meet up suggestion…
Saturday 22nd March at 1pm in Manchester. We could go to the cathedral, light candles for our mums (and dad’s) then go for an afternoon tea and take it from there. That’s the weekend before Mother’s Day
I’ve just suggested this as a starting point so feel free to tweak it
Hxxx
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Pls don’t think you are putting a downer on things. As the girls say, you are in the very early days of grief. We all still have our ups and downs after 2 years, some days are harder than others.
Our posts will give you hope that it will get easier with time, but even for us it’s still a tough journey.
Even yesterday I had a meltdown on my own in the car driving back from work. I just missed mum so much, I was going over the last few days in my mind and berating myself for not having realised she was so near to te end.
Also thinking of our old planning rituals for this time of the year really got to me.
If you feel up to it please share your story with us so we can offer support.
Sending gentle hugs.
Kate xxx
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Hi Helen that’s a good date for me. I’ve looked at flights and I could arrive early Saturday morning and leave on Monday 24th.
Your plan sounds great.
Maybe you could suggest a good hotel in Manchester and I will treat myself to a pampering weekend. 
Seeing you all, shopping, British food and drinks, visiting Manchester etc etc. it will be wonderful!!!
Ooh I’m getting excited already.
K xxxxx
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Hey @seychelles Pembrokeshire is a fab part of the country to live far better than barrybados! I remember making paper chains at xmas and crepe paper streamers. Dreading christmas but my sister and I’ve been laughing about the xmas candle she and mum bought in harrods circa 84. It’s shaped like a xmas tree but has a nick out of it now so the top goes of at an angle. It’s never been lit but has It’s spot!
Hi Formamjoan4835,
As everyone has said you are not putting a downer on things at all.
It’s very early days for you and I am sure like us everything is very raw for you. Post on here whenever you feel like and share as much or as little as you want to.
Even just reading posts helped me in so many ways especially at he beginning.
Keep posting and let us know how you are going
Helen that sounds a good date to me. I will probably stay the weekend as then it won’t be a mad dash I will look at hotels soon. The Cathedral visit is a must. Maybe there are hotels I can stay near it as I liked the look of some of those shops nearby also lol. May come up on the train to save driving.
Let me know girls where everyone is staying nearer the time
Love Deb x
Hi Milliemobs,
I spent a lot of time in Barry years ago when I was in uni. My friend was in uni in Cardiff so stayed with her in the holidays and we used to go on the train to Barry. I remember the funfair there and a lovely beach.
I am from Carmarthen originally but have lived in Pembrokeshire for approx 42 yrs. It’s got beautiful beaches within a few miles of our house so we are spoilt for choice. Touristy ones and ones that only the locals know of. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how lucky we are.
The tree ornament made me laugh bec mum had an angel that we used to put in the top and it was never straight.
It’s the tiny things that bring back so many memories isn’t it.
I haven’t put any decorations or a tree up yet. A huge part of me doesn’t want to put any up but I will make an effort but probably last minute. I have a few Father Christmas things to put around the house as mum had a passion for Santa’s and I brought them all back here. So as sad as I know they will make me I will display them.
Christmas is such an emotional time and losing someone at Christmas time is the pits. Christmas veill never be the same for me again. It New Year as mum passed on Dec 30 th.
I hope you and everyone will be able to make our reunion in Manchester. Everyone is welcome x
Deborah x
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Helen,
This is a brilliant idea Helen bec I remember those days clearly when we were all in a terrible state with the unknown sheer desperate feelings and panic attacks.
Clutching at straws abd praying someone would reply when I would post throughout the night and feeling my mood shift when someone did. It was a lifeline line no other. The feeling of being able to talk about how I was feeling with no one judging me and gaining so much love and support was immeasurable and gave me the confidence to get through each day. An hour seemed like eternity so knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling like I did helped so much.
If you are new on here please keep going ,keep posting and reach out as many times as you want to us. Our little group is growing and someone on here will reply to help you or simply be there for you
Love to you all
Deborah
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I’m feeling excited to see you guys again. It would be nice if some of the new members could come too. It’s such a support and so nice to have that camaraderie. Will it be just you coming Kate or will the boys be joining you in Manchester? Xxx
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Would anyone else be able to meet up on Sat 22nd March in Manchester? It’s xx me, Kate and Deborah so far xx
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Look at this girls
Theres loads of other places though
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Hi girls, I’d like to come so will put the date in my calendar. Nice to have something to look forward to in the spring!! xxx
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Oh Gill that’s wonderful. It will be so lovely to meet you.
Yes after we get through Xmas what a wonderful thing we have to look forward to
I will definitely stay the night if not 2 nights because its a long way
Deb x
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