This is quite quirky. Lots of character in an old building. If anyone prefers modern, there’s Cloud 23 with views over the city. I’ve not been to Richmond tea rooms. I do fancy that one. Xxx
Looking forward to meeting you Gill. Xx
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We were in such a state back then weren’t we Deborah? I honestly thought I couldn’t survive the pain of it. I’m surprised I’m not feeling worse about Christmas. Seeing the adverts on TV isn’t bothering me as much as I thought. I kind of feel numb to Christmas. Indifferent. I know mum and dad will be on my mind the whole time. It will never be the same again and I’m not sure it will ever be a joyous occasion like in the past but I feel positive that I can get through it.
I hope that gives some hope to those on here going through the first weeks and months of this.
Kate, I’ll let you know some hotels but I’ve never actually stayed in Manchester as never needed to. I live a 20 minute train ride away from the city. The Midland is a beautiful hotel. More pricey but you can’t take it with you can you? I think it has a spa too? I’ll ask some friends. There are some nice quirky hotels.
Exciting! Hxxx
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Hiya Helen,
I don’t mind where we go honestly.
I will fit in with whatever happens on the day. Even fancy Kate’s Spa idea
Deb x
Hiya Kate,
I looked at hotels today and you are spoilt for choice even with swimming pools. I stayed at Castle something hotel last time and it had a swimming pool but it was freezing. Ok I exaggerate but it was too cold to go in. Very disappointing so if you want a lovely warm pool don’t book there.
Deb x
Hi Helen,
I seriously didn’t think I would ever survive that pain too so I can fully understand what new people on here are going through. I remember one night it was like a switch and it instantly eased a little. I couldn’t believe it. I thought at times in the beginning I was honestly going to have a heart attack with the pain.
Same as you. Christmas is just going through the motions.
My mum was Christmas in every sense of the word. She made it magical for me even though I was all grown up. I suppose I need to get my head around the fact that I now have to make it magical for Paul and Glyn but it’s hard.
Mum and I always went to the pantomime on Christmas Eve in the afternoon followed by a meal in a restaurant then church for either the evening service or I would go to midnight mass. Veg and all the prep would be done and Paul and Glyn would travel to mum’s to be with us. I only ever had Chris’ Day once in my own house and that was when Glyn was a baby 29 yrs ago so it’s taken some getting used to just being home let alone without mum. It all seems so strange. But I really have to pull myself together and make an effort so new memories are made.
It will be so lovely to start the new year knowing I have something to look forward to and it’s my birthday on march 19th so oh my goodness how wonderful it will be this year to be with you all to celebrate.
How’s everyone else fixed? Anyone else joining us . We have myself, Helen, Kate and Gill so far. Even join us for one night if you can because we really want to meet you all . Everyone is welcome so please feel welcome to join us.
Keep posting girls to let us know how you all are.
Love Deb x
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Great news Gill! It will be lovely to meet! 
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Hi Helen, I’m not sure the boys will be with me. There’s no Manu match that weekend and we have to think about the fur baby, so it will probably be Just me. Xx
Hi Deb. I will be staying for the 2 nights.
The Midland that Helen mentioned is a beautiful old style hotel in the very centre. It looked gorgeous at Christmas time last year. I may treat myself….as Helen rightly says we can’t take it with us and mum would definitely approve!!
She’d say you treat yourself darling you deserve it!
Funny how we can still hear our mum’s advice in our heads isn’t it? Do any of you feel this too?
K xxx
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Hi Kate,
Ok will look that hotel up.
I will probably be on my own too and possible get the train up.
Yes I felt I could hear mum this afternoon when I was in M and S her favourite shop. I found the voucher I had given her for her birthday before she passed and it had to be spent by Nov 24th so into M and S I went today. I headed for the womens section and I just couldn’t be bothered to look at anything. I could hear mum saying Go on Deb treat yourself ! But I just couldn’t not without her with me and it was the M and S in her hometown which made it worse. I ended up treating myself to a christmas candle , difusher and smellies because clothes were too painful. I could actually hear her saying Oooh the candle smells lovely. She wouldnt want me to lose out on not spending the vouchers so I managed to spend them all. I have a few others to spend before Xmas so will get on the case as been putting it off for 2 years.
Am off to look up teh Midland. I could really do with a treat for sure
Deb x
Would love to join you on the meet up but mum died 21 March so not sure how I’ll feel.
Aww Milliemobs I understand how difficult it will be for you.
Helen can we change the date somehow? How about after Easter!!
Milliemobs if that date goes ahead how about looking at it as a diet of pilgrimage for your mum.
We will be going to the Cathedral and lighting candles for our mum’s and we can have done quiet time there with out thoughts and memories. Even if you are not religious it’s a beautiful cathedral to just sit in for a while and take in the beauty of the architecture and stained glass windows.
Last time we met we all cried and we will next time so we will understand. Our afternoon teas will be dedicated to our mum’s and our wonderful friendships.
I am more than happy to change the date if everyone else can just do it helps you.
If you can’t join us maybe you and I could meet in Cardiff somewhere as it’s not far for me to go.
It’s important you spend the firsts doing what’s best for you.
Hows everyone else doing?
I am just plodding on trying to keep busy.
Staying away from shops as much as possible to protect myself.
Watching TV is painful with the Christmas adverts so trying to avoid them too.
Love Deb x
Hi @Seychelles please dont change your plans for me every date is bad for someone. But really appreciate this group’s support.
Hi Girls,
Stay safe in this awful weather!
It’s terrible here in Wales.
Deb x
Hi everyone, hope you’re all bearing up. Christmas is fast approaching and it will heighten our emotions. I’m feeling better than I thought. Reading your posts Kate and Deb about your mums and how they made Christmas special for us. I’ve been thinking a lot about it all. Probably not this year as too raw, but maybe next year, we should take that matriarchal batten off our mums and become the one who makes Christmas special for our loved ones still here with us?! Our mums taught us what to do, with their love and wisdom. Maybe next year we can say to our Mums ’it’s Okay mum, I’ll take care of it now’ what a lovely legacy that would be. Our mum’s influence and strength living on through us? This is my positive mindset at the moment. I know I’ll dip at some point but I’m feeling stronger than I ever have since losing mum and dad.
I’ve been so busy lately sorting the final bits from the house. We’ve done a bit of decorating, tip runs, skip filling, charity shop runs. A new carpet is being fitted this Friday then it’s ready to be sold. I think I will take a dip then. We had another leak but only a small one this time, that was easily resolved. My sister said ‘I’ve fallen out of love with this house now, I just want it gone!’ I feel the same. Now it’s empty there’s no soul. It’s just a house. Well not quite, but it’s not so emotional anymore to go there. A lady came up to me at mum and dad’s thanksgiving (funeral) and asked me about the house! Can you believe some people?!! I didn’t think about it at the time as was so numb and in such pain but now I think back, you just wouldn’t would you?! 
I don’t mind changing the date but I think milliebobs is right; there’s always going to be someone who can’t make it, so maybe stick with that date and we could organise another meet up later? Have you decided on the midland. I could ask around. I don’t stay in Manchester so don’t really know the hotels. Avoid Sacha’s! I know that! The Hilton is decent. I’m meeting up with a friend today so will chat with her.
Have a good day you lovely lot. Lots of love Hxxx
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Hi Helen,
I agree with you about Xmas. We have to turn into our mums.
We had some bad news 2 days ago. Glyns friend passed away aged 28 so we have all been so upset.
Yes am fine about the date. Maybe meet up in the North once and year and also in the South as we are all so far away from each other. I will fit in with whatever.
Havent looked at hotels yet. Will do nearer the time. Will probably stay near teh Cathedral or those shops we passed. Was that the Arndale Centre that we passed when we were walking?
Keep going girls
Deb x
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Aw Deb, am sorry to hear about Glyn’s friend, it is so heart breaking when a young person passes away. This happened to me when I was 27 with a close friend, it’s like it was yesterday. My folks really were there for me at this time, very supportive. Hoping meeting up in the spring will bring 2025 to be a better year for us all. G xx
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Oh Debs, how utterly tragic. So very sorry to hear this 
sending you all love and thoughts xxx
Oh Deborah so sorry to hear this news. So young and poor Glynn having to experience this loss. Sorry I’ve been quiet. Working full time and trying to sort the house is exhausting. I’m so up and down and my moods are all over the place. Christmas is a coming but not sure how I feel about it all. X
Hi Jules, I’m sure Christmas will be hard but isn’t every day? It does heighten the emotions though. Hope you are bearing up xxx