Your so right as we both had another 3years before retirement and had amazing plans around travel which when I am ready will be something I will do however on my own
i hope i can but not sure, i feel so lost on my own
I hear you about feeling lost on your own this is a personal challenge i have set for myself but not sure if I will really do it as the saying goes “never say never”
i realy feel for you too, were you together a long time, we had been married 41 years, my husband was only 61
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I’m also in same position my husband Paul was also 61 we would have been married 40 years July just gone been together 46 years feels like I have lost half of my body we lived as 1 person feel so lost and alone x
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it is awfull and so unfair isnt it, i still cant believe i will never see him again, it all happened so quickly i didnt have time to process it x
I was 60 when husband died tragically in road traffic accident last year. Would have been married 40 years next March. Although I know he is not coming back often find myself wondering how this could have happened, how everything could be taken from me. I only wanted to keep what I already had.
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Never apologize here. That’s what this site is all about. Venting and crying and expressing every emotion we are going through.
Barbara
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I know you just keep thinking I’m going to wake up from this nightmare , I also think his going to phone me later to go and collect him from the hospital if only x how are we going to carry on without them 
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It is so awful and unfair its crazy they have been stolen from us at such a young age 
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Hi marycan, I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this , I lost my husband in July from oesophageal cancer,his had spread to his brain lymph nodes etc ,I get the feeling of being lost , I’m not sleeping as my head keeps running it all back, people say " at least he’s no longer suffering" and yes it’s true there’s no more pain etc , but the pain we have is overwhelming at times , I have 2 daughters at home so I try to be strong and not cry but sometimes I wonder can you die from a broken heart? Hugs hun xx
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I am so sorry that you find yourself in the position where you need this site like the rest of us. There is broken heart syndrome where structural changes are found in those who are grieving. Even when these changes don’t occur, your heart just feels like a painful rock in your chest. Take it a breath at a time and keep posting here as people will support. Winston’s Wish is a useful website for children and refugeingrief.com may help you. Take care
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This is what I call a bitter sweet site to belong to. Bitter that you find yourself here but sweet that you have found us for support and understanding.
It goes without saying I am so sorry for your loss. The pain is very intense and truly felt, like a permanent heavy crushing sensation in your chest, that broken heart feeling.
We all feel it and I’m not sure if or when it begins to feel any different.
It surprises me that our bodies and heart are able to survive such punishment but I know we have to keep trying even when it’s the last thing we want to be doing.
Take care of you
Dee xx
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I so hear you I am still trying to process the whole thing my husband’s death was quick.
We were truly one body together and now half of me has gone wow its tough
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My heart shattered in so many pieces I don’t know if it ever mend the pain is so much and at times unbearable for me life will never be the same:sob:
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What the Dr said to me will stay with me , she said it’s like I have to sacrifice our relationship for him to be at rest , tbh it’s true xx
Sorry all back on and having a winge about the in laws. When my hubby died and we were arranging the funeral, my father in law paid the first lot of fees for the funeral and said I could pay him back when I was able to - fair enough. The life assurance my hubby had wasn’t enough to cover the whole funeral as there were extras in there that ‘they’ wanted and so I paid the balance off, so much of what I owed them and mistakenly thought that the couple of hundred which was still owing - that now they had got there money that they would pay this small amount.
No, I got asked for the money yesterday - of course I’ll pay them back but this means that the only thing they paid for, for their sons funeral was their flowers which cost £90 - and I paid for everything else. Sorry to sound bitter but I thought they might have wanted to contribute “something” to their sons funeral or am I expecting too much. My step daughter has thought her grandparents would pay half so even she can’t understand why they haven’t contributed.
Am I wrong to think in this way - I just wondered if anyone else had experienced anything like this?
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Dear me, it’s just never ending with your in laws!! As I’ve said in my previous messages, I take my hat off to you as you continue to try and give these greedy people the benefit of the doubt.
The closest thing I can relate to this is when I was sorting out the flowers for hubby’s funeral.
I gave his family the address of the florist the funeral home was using for them to sort out any flowers they wished to send. Needless to say, there was no flowers sent. I had a beautiful arrangement made for his coffin …… but knowing what his family were like I made sure I had a card placed on them with a personal message from me and I never mentioned I was doing my flowers.
After the funeral my step son said if they had known I was arranging some flowers they would have contributed. I remember looking at him and thinking …… the point is Martin deserved everyone to make their own effort to express their grief, not just jump on the band wagon of somebody else’s effort.
I truly belief Martin would find it quite sad that others showed so little effort. What I take from this is the fact I can hold my head up high and know at least I showed how much he was loved, I did my best!!
Hopefully our better halves are looking down on us, feeling grateful and pleased that we, at least, have stayed and continue to stay loyal to them.
Please remember you are the better person in all this. You should feel proud of yourself as you husband be
Hugs
Dee xx
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so true, but so hard when you miss their physical presence. my late husband always liked to stay close to me, constantly told me he loved me, I miss that so much…
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Dear Sja2804
Did you enquire to see if you could receive the DWP payment towards the cost of the funeral?
With regard to your in-laws, I do not have that problem but I think when it comes to money families behave in the most irrational and insensitive way. ‘Pound-signs’ are the driver and if/when challenged they always have a memory-lapse as to the way they have behaved.
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