Delayed grief

Losing a parent
1

I am 25 years old, also a mother and I lost my mum when I was 21 she died suddenly and unexpected due to a blood clot on her brain causing a major stroke then further complications. Obviously my whole world came crashing down, my daughter was just two years old at the time and my mum was our entire world she did so much for us it was unreal. I could never imagine my life without her the suddenly I was left with no choice.

I was wondering if anyone has experienced delayed grief, I was completely broken when I lost my mum however 4 years on and I feel like I’m suddenly starting to feel it a lot more and I can’t really understand why. I guess I was on a lot of autopilot being A young mum At the time, now I just get these random ‘I just want my mum days’ I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this and any sort of coping methods to make these days a little easier

2

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mum at such a young age, and when your own daughter was so little. There is no set timeline on grief and delayed grief is definitely something that can happen. It can be particularly likely to happen when someone doesn’t have support or outlets for their feelings, or ends up ‘bottling up’ their feelings for some reason. It sounds as though you were understandably focused on parenting your own daughter, and perhaps you didn’t have the chance to fully grieve at the time.

It’s never too late to get some support, and I’m glad that you’ve taken the first step of writing things down here. There are many others here who have lost a parent and will understand some of what you are going through.

Here are some other posts about delayed grief that you might be interested to read:

And here are some other posts by users who have lost a parent at a similar age to you - feel free to post a reply to them if you would like to talk.

3

Hi jce
I cant really say about delated grief because my mum died suddenly 8 months ago but I’m still in a terrible state and cant imagine I will ever get much better.
My mum died the same way yours did though. A small clot on the brain flooded by a massive bleed a few days later. She died within hours. Its very scary and such a shock.
Thinking of you x