That is the very hard part work needing doing. After u lost yr loved 1 as well.
Get in touch with age concern, & they will tell you what the right tradesmen are for the job.
Hi Lonely
Yes my family are over the road but as a farmers daughter not a farmers son in farming terms that means life for a ‘daughter’ is so different
My family could’ve written the history books
Son inherits everything the daughter on the other hand marries and becomes ‘somebody else’s problem’
That is my situation
However in the history books daughter is given a dowry
That is not the case Paul and I did everything on ‘our own’ no help whatsoever and to be fair paul and I ‘made it together’
My mum agrees with the ‘farming’ theory and to be fair always has done hence my brother inherits the lot!
Unfair yes ……
But hey Paul looked after me provided for me and loved me yes he worked on a farm ( not my parents farm) which I was very much involved with and I so miss that
Infact I miss everything
Miss my life
Hope you are having a better day and enjoyed your baileys hot chocolate!
Xx
1 Like
Hi
Footnote……
Families…… our Dr said to me you can choose your friends …… so right
I have ‘jobs’ I can’t do and I am a determined practical person
This week needed my lawn mower in Paul’s van to take for a service ready for the summer
Who did I phone to help me lift the mower……
Yes a friend
Says it all
Xx
1 Like
That is so upsetting after u losing yr husband.
I wouldent leave them a penny. But dont tell them. & make sure u change yr will, it only takes a phone call.
Leave it 2 the people who will help u. When u need help.
& good luck.
1 Like
Iv seen it before, they recommend local trades men.
& u can also ask for any advice u might need.
1 Like
Thats is very true, no 1 helps u for free.
1 Like
Yr welcome.
Hi lonely
We have so much in common
For a start naff family ( on my side)
Paul had over 48 years of my family and knew exactly what they are like
In our previous will we made provisions for our 3 nephews
2 on my side one in Paul’s side we were increasing uneasy about this and Paul said ‘when we get through this we’ll change our will’
I immediately wanted to book appointment with our solicitor but Paul said we’ll get through this then go
I knew exactly why he wanted to go although he never said
Sadly no we didn’t get through it but I’ve changed the will
My family have done nothing for us at all ever in all our years together
In fact my 2 nephews ( my side ) and my brother haven’t been over the road to see us or me when Paul passed away
And my brothers eldest …… Paul and I are his godparents
So I’ve changed the will ‘no body over the road gets anything’
Apart from my mum gave me her engagement ring and eternity ring to wear about 6 years ago
My mum still alive I did feel these belonged to my family so I’ve left them to my brothers youngest sons daughter
I don’t feel guilty I’m not a spender and like you with Paul’s private pension I am ‘comfortable’ Paul made sure if that
I’d rather have Paul
Implants I inherited ( he did give me something) my fathers teeth not good with many complications
In 2009 after exhausting all avenues to stop my teeth decaying the dentist suggested implants
Yes agonised the cost Paul just said if you want them we’ll make it happen
All bottom teeth out implants bridge top teeth implants bridge have 4 back teeth of my own remaining on the top
Took 2 years many hours in the dentist chair but I love them money well spent
I am so sorry your sons feel like this but all I can say is
Money is the root if all evil ………
Is there such a thing as ‘happy families’ I think not
Take care
Always here
Xx
3 Likes
Hi lonely
nothing surprises me any more. When u r vulnerable after yr husband, u wld think people wld help, but they dont, shame on them.
Let it be a learning lesson.
I live on my own never had children, but iv learnt 2 adapt 2 being on my own, its not been easy. & people who u tht was a friend r not interested. So u cry alone, like alot of us on here.
Chat any time.
Pauline x
2 Likes
I think I know what you mean you are MRS — and now ??? I am a mum of 2 but now I am mum of one I haven’t worked out what I am suppost to say any more it feels like I am half the person I was.
Hi @Lonely & @Bess1
I’m am so sorry to hear that both of you have had such a bad time with family, neighbours and tradespeople.
I am SO lucky living where I do as the people in this village support one another massively. I am also grateful for a lovely brother who will help with anything he can and a daughter who is certainly not money grabbing. The one who lives with me doesn’t understand money much and as long as she can buy colouring books and cuddly toys she’s happy.
Move to my village! 
5 Likes
Hi Lonely and Bess I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I have been lucky as my brother and son are like mother hens a bit overwhelming at times as I am such an independent person . I did have a problem with my husband`s side of the family expected large cheques coming their way. I explained no chance wrote them out of the will. Getting rid of toxic people is a must. Take care both of you x
3 Likes
I know, and can appreciate how you all feel. The only person who really cares and supports me is my wonderful younger brother. He has been my rock & I would have been totally on my own without him.
My work colleagues have also been a great source of support; considering I work fully remote, but they are always there to share a Zoom call etc…
I’m afraid Martin’s family have been pretty much absent, apart from a few text messages or 1 minute calls. I do think he would be so disappointed with them, however I’m at the stage where I really don’t care anymore.
It’s a lonely road we travel, you come to realise who your real friends are… what people don’t realise is, someday they may be in our shoes and tbh, I will treat them as I have been treated; sad I know, but it’s the truth.
It’s just a sad, sad situation, but I have to find the strength to go forward.
Sending love to you all… Xx
6 Likes
There are, but tbh, they are few and far between. You seem like such a wonderful lady, I really do hope and pray people appreciate you…
It’s so sad, we are flung into this awful life with no life support, just expected to “get on with it” …. However I’m a big believer in Karma!
Some day, people may realise just how life changing, life altering this journey is; I’m afraid that for certain individuals, my otherwise kind and supportive self will be somewhat unavailable…
Look after yourself Much love, Dottie xx
3 Likes
Me and my wonderful brother x❤️
6 Likes
Hi Dottie
Lovely photo
I am so pleased your brother is there for you
In my case it’s my sister in law Paul’s twin brothers wife
She had been an absolute star……. I wouldn’t be without her
Yes folks have short memories
Like you I feel I will treat folk as they have treated me
Probably wrong I know but…… we all have good memories and one day they’ll be in our boat……
Lol to you both
Xx
3 Likes
Shelia, you are not moaning at all! You lost the love of your life as I did. It doesn’t matter how long we had, it’s sadly still never enough…
Thank you for your kind words, sending a big hug… xx❤️
Thank you Sheila. My Martin and I were together 17 years, our 11th wedding anniversary was two days after his funeral…
Martin and I had known each other for years before! His two sisters, are my best friends from school and my brother and Martin were best friends!
When we got together, everyone was shocked!! Tbh my brother wasn’t very happy, but that all changed when they realised just how happy we were…
I know Martin was my soulmate; I remember my Mum telling me years ago “ when you meet your soulmate, you just know” how right she was.
I know that I’ll never love again, no one will ever compare to him. I’m actually planning fund raising events later this year for an AVM charity, I want to raise awareness.
Sending love xx❤️
2 Likes