Yeh i give his picture a kiss each night. Its at top of my stairs xx
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Dont think about second year @Rome18 it might not be worse ? I dunno how it can be tbh ā¦ all the shock and stress we been through!! When im calm i can cope but its just that pain of not having him here ā¦ it was all so easy and they knew us so well didnt they ? It was like sitting in a comfy chair ā¦ thatās the bit i took for granted xx and my sister in law who is a counsellor told me 1st year anniversary was gonna be hard !!! Xx
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if it has been a year, then no. you are right to hermit.
if it has been five years, or four, their advice might be right.
life is for the living. but in due time, after loss.
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Hi
Paul died July 2022 so my āsecond āyear and for the first year was hard and yes I didnāt think it could get any worse
Got to say for me itās 10 in not 100 times worse this year and yes I did think it couldnāt get any worse
Itās the insane knowledge itās forever as if I didnāt know that before
Also I think of Christmases past and I want more
And yes also freak out in shops
I always bought Paul M&S chocolate money I cried when I saw it
Still cry
Same with a selection box and stuff I always bought him
A diary the list is endless
Christmas music the lot
Take care folks
Xx
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Yes Deb5
Having a soulmate for years like we all didā¦. They were like our comfort blanket
The only person to know is inside out upside down ā¦ā¦ the only person that knew us
And now as I said earlier Iām lost and bereft
Xx
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@Bess1 its never going to be the same again . We were so together. I miss every fibre of his being
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This is my first Christmas without Christine. Iām not sure I can face a second one
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@Dazzaman its my first as well . I feel worse each day seeing everyoneās excitement . I know it would be too much to bear so I am off to Gran Canaria . No excitement for that either . Life is so empty without my Andrew
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Agree 100 per cent. Who cares?
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Morning
Who cares ā¦ā¦ no one
The person who did and watched our backs isnāt here
Xx
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And then tonight Iām off for my second Christmas dinner where everybody else will be jolly!! Iām only going because I think sometimes itās better than staying indoors on my own and besides this is a Masonic Christmas dinner so should be interesting!!
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That is exactly why I am going to a few all because it is better than sitting in a the house all on my own feeling so overwhelmed with the feelings that constantly go through your head 
But you do get the feeling when your there it must be nice to be so happy and I do not know about everyone else but I do get the feeling your the one stuck on the end as thatās the only single seat plus asking you up to dance is it out pity I dunno and feel a bit awful thinking this way but I cannot help it 
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Enjoy gran canaria wont you 
with your mum. Honestly i found that the change of scenery and seeing different people did me good tbh ! Its a distraction from the misery isnt it ? But you will still be aware your hubby isnt thereā¦ i had a few meltdowns whilst i was on holiday in tenerife ā¦ missing him so much , just their very presence, their physical being, their chat 
xxx
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Yep agree xx
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Well it would be nice to asked to dance but I canāt do it like I used to. Donāt think it is out of pity if the person is in the same boat. What is think is they want a bit of company. Not be same as my husband but doesnāt even have to be anything special just friends.
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Yes true friends
And at the end of the day our lives would become incredibly insular if now and again we didnāt accept invitations
Xx
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Just had a visit from my granddaughter and great-grandson .its given me a huge boost to see them
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How lovely, hoping to see my grandkids tomorrow. They definitely make us feel a bit better.
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Only get see them 2-3 times a year when they come up from gravesend.realy made my day
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Hi Martyn2
We all need a lift
Pleased their visit did the trick today
Xx
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