Definitely x
1 Like
I had my grandsons to stay over Saturday night. Their mum went away for a weekend. I went to Aldi Saturday morning for a big shop as donāt need much myself. They were full of beans. I not lot energy pacing myself to get place back to reasonable as I donāt have incentive on my own. Then they came later than they said. So was waiting but gave me chance to relax before. I put too much food in air fryer and was told so yesterday cooked large chicken early in oven but I should not have over filled steamer. Why am I so silly more so than usual? My son turns up and ask him to sort it so he does but I have been doing it ok other times. Well on reflection I used to say to my late husband: āWonder what I have got wrong this time?ā. I canāt get used to how my husband shared the load and I find it tough after a year without him.
Will be anniversary of his funeral on 13th this month. After that all next anniversaries will be the second time round. Not getting easier, getting harder. But lovely to see my five year old dancing with Morris men at Xmas tree festival . Really cheered me up when I saw video I can relive it again and again. Made it all worth it to go there.
Also they had been making Xmas cards and decorations for their tree. I love to see them doing nice things. Gives me a lift.
In Tuesday going to see little five year old in school play.
8 Likes
I agree to me seems even the little things take twice as much effort than usual and you are not the only one I do silly things also well according to my bereavement group it is grief brain fog.
I cry every time I see the children sing especially at the Nativity play mind in saying that I have done this since mine was little but just twice as much now haha.
As for anniversaries I do not get it at all when people say Ooh the first year is the worse maybe in a way because they are the first without your loved one however this is my second Christmas without hubby and I can honestly say I feel actually worse like the stuffing has been knocked out of me to the point I have avoided going to some social events because I truly feel like others could feel my misery even though that false smile is always painted on my face.
Sending lots of hugs for you on this the first anniversary Enorac x
5 Likes
Hi @Woman-50, I too have avoided some social events for exactly the same reason. I have been invited over to my sisterās for Christmas but donāt think I will go for this very reason.
Itās so hard to determine the most helpful course of action to take.
Best wishes to you.
2 Likes
Hi all
Hi Woman -50
Same here
Second of everything
I didnāt think I could feel any worse than last year but this second year ( Paul died 24th July 2022) is just far far worse
I kinda think in the first year you are numbā¦. I donāt know then wham when you are rock bottom the āsecondā year comes along and kicks you right in your stomach
The pain is excruciating ( and I thought it was bad last year)
Hugs to all
Xx
2 Likes
Hi Martyn2 ,I am with you on this ,losing oneās beautiful wife to cancer is the most horrendous thing,I do not function properly without her.I was married twice and even my first wife was taken by cancer as well ,both within 2 years.First wife Patricia passed away 8/7/2023 we were marreid 23 years,second wife Judith married 25 years passed away 27/9/2021. Michael x
2 Likes
Mickeyboy31 i canāt function as well without sue .but my daughter and stepson dave plus family are really supportive and if they think that i am struggling with things they will put there foot down .especially now as health problems are flaring up especially a problem with my right below knee amputation as the prosthetic is not working so well
2 Likes
Well I am not seeing nativity I am ill, grandson ill and teachers got covid; told old people not to go anyway.
Took covid test this morning but negative before meeting autistic son at dentist then to Morrisons as quiet in comparison with Aldi.
At least stocked with fruit to keep me going as alone. Will take covid tests every day as stock runs out Dec so might as well. I want to know.
Wonāt go if positive or still coughing. There are some dos on.
But feel weary. I am 79 at Xmas but x in fings. Gargling salt water.
Had it before. Lot going round as not many vaccinated.
1 Like
Morning Enorac
So sorry your are feeling ill Covid not going away for sureā¦ā¦ 
you stay negative
Look after yourself
Xx
Hi grief is horrendous it never leaves you ,the loss of your partner,lover,spouse soul mate etc is just about the worst thing in the World.I have agonised for the past 2 years about why Judith was taken by cancer,did not have a bad bone in her body.She was so fit ,non smoker,occasional drinker loved walking and gardenning,hell I miss her so much. Michael xx
7 Likes
Morning enerac.sorry your not feeling well
I agree. This is my second Christmas without husband and on my own. I find it is worse as last year was still numb No family and yet finding it hard to be with friends etc as I donāt want to spoil Christmas for them. Take care
4 Likes
Hi @Enorac,
Miserable that you have this bug to contend with as well. Hope you continue to test negative and that you begin to feel better soon.
Best wishes to you.
Hi all,
Iāve set up a post called āWhere are we fromā
Itās a post where people can put where they live and hopefully connect with people local to them that understand what we are going through. People are lonely and friends and family although they try to help donāt understand our pain.
Check it out there might be somebody just around the corner who is experiencing the same emotions and feelings
3 Likes
Hi Kingo
Good idea we are all in it together ( an awful phrase but you know what I mean
Where / how do I find it
Sorry if this a daft question
Yes second Christmas for me last year numb this year horrendous and yes Paul stopped smoking in 94 and also not a bad bone in his body
Xx
2 Likes
Iāve put the title in the search circle at the top of the page
No results found
Where am I going wrong please?
Thank you
Xx
2 Likes
I canāt find that
1 Like
Well positive test for covid today. Not surprised. So stopping in.
2 Likes
āā Where are we fromāā is the title
2 Likes
2 Likes