It is worse because of Christmas time, and I am reliving every hour of last year’s nightmare when my husband was very poorly and I was soon to lose him.
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Yes me too one day at a time is bad enough years without him is intolerable ive never felt so alone and loneley .love to you all xx
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Morning
We all feel the same …(…sorry )but it’s just shite
The aloneness is intolerable
No more chit chat nothing
Everything about losing your loved one is unbearable
Unfortunately to have a true understanding of it you have to experience it
No one else gets it and I’m struggling big time
Xx
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You have hit the nail on the head Bess 1 it is absolutely awful and nothing but nothing really makes you feel any better as everything I see that happens with couples I get not only angry but quite jealous also and people do not get it because they have a way of thinking Oh this is a time to make a new life for yourself I don’t want a new life I want my old life ;-(
I too struggle big time take care x
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Morning all
It’s the same for me. As the days are going by through December I’m struggling more and more. I’ve become like a hermit because I don’t want to look around and feel my loss even more. I’m invited to my brother and SIL and family for Christmas Day but I can’t do it. To see them having such a normal, happy day, working together making dinner and just enjoying being together would rub too much salt into my wounds. I love them dearly but it would just sharpen my terrible feeling of being only half of what I used to be. His birthday next week will be really bad as well, because all the family would have come to our house and there would have been lots of stories and laughter ( mainly from my husband!) But people don’t really get it, they think they know what would be best for you. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that he would have wanted to die the way he did. Maybe he would, but it doesn’t help.
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Hi Woman -50
Exactly….there was nothing wrong with my old life so why suddenly should I even think about a new life
All I see are couples also
I suppose we were one and I never noticed others or even single people
Until now and they are everywhere
In cars in Motorhome’s ( we had one) on pavements in shops
I could smack em!
Our nephew said in Paul’s eulogy that we were content in each others company
We so were
I’m just empty full sick constantly with the thought of life without Paul
Is there any reason to do so
Yes I suppose is the bottom line Paul would’ve wanted me to get on
He once said ( not meaning me) although he’d been diagnosed when he said it
It’s harder for the people left cos the other half won’t be her
Too right
I frequently wonder how Paul would’ve cooed without me
I was the organiser in the partnership but he would’ve coped with that
Without me? He was mentally stronger than me and he always said through life
It is what it is
Maybe this would’ve been his coping strategy
Folks say this phrase to me
I know it’s true but my life is just hell
I’m existing without hearing or seeing all the ‘jolly ness’ around
Big hugs
Xx
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Feel sick not full! Xx
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Well it certainly does not get better. Michael x
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Mickeyboy31 i agree with you on this.
I lost my gorgeous beautiful wife sue on the 1st February this year due to cancer.if anything the days are getting worse
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Hi agree Martyn, these last few weeks have felt so awful. I too lost my Keef in February but he started to get a bit poorly before Christmas last year so I’m just reminded of that now. I even went shopping with a friend yesterday in Sainsburys and walking round on my own, she was doing her own stuff, I just started to cry as the Christmas songs were being played. I think that’s probably why I took so long!! Take care and we can support each other on here. Gail xx
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I lost my husband of 40 years in may and yesterday walking round supermarket i couldnt stop the tears. The Christmas music and spotting his favourite chocolate started me off. I feel very down now.
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I did exactly the same but mine was hubbies Sausage Sarnie I used to buy him for breakfast cried in the aisle of the Supermarket didn’t care as I could not help it plus at times I have actually made him tea and toast in a morning saying enjoy love 
We all have our little ways and I always say “You do you”
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Ah. @Rome18 im just the same ! That feeling of them slipping away and there is sod all you can do about it ! And for it to happen near xmas ! Just heartbreaking. Im thinking of you honey. And i know exactly what youre going through 
i have absolutely no idea how i have survived this last year ? No idea at all !!! xxxx
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I think xmas just makes it flipping 10 times worse ! Everybody being flipping jolly ! What we gotta be jolly about ? Not having a partner anymore !! Huh x
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@Deb5, I’m thinking of you as well, with the indescribable pain of last year giving us these awful memories, and trying to live through this Christmas. We have to be strong but it is so very hard. Sending hugs xx
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Deb5 not looking forward to Christmas at all.especialy as its my first one without my gorgeous beautiful wife sue. Just want this year over .just feel so lost without sue x
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Thank you and sending big hugs back to you too !! Going back to one day at a time to cope … as much pampering as i can !!! Im gonna write to him in my journal tonight and just had a chat with him in the kitchen 
its so hard isnt it @Rome18 xxx
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Deb5 i say goodnight to a photo of sue and morning as well.then i put a goodnight and good morning post on sues Facebook page which is set to remembering x
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Yes @Deb5, it’s more than hard. There are times I feel totally lost. I try to think of past Christmases when we were so happy, but usually fail with what happened last year. I don’t know either how I have managed to get through the year.
It scares me when I hear the second year can be worse,
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