I think people have a problem with us coping and being on our own.
They are the ones who think we need someone in our lives so we’re not “lonely”
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I feel so lonely my heart hurts so much.losing your loved one is heartbreaking
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I went away for the weekend it was spoiled seeing so many couples looking so happy. I truly find myself staring at them.
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I’m like that when I see couples walking hand-in-hand. I end up staring, I must look really creepy!
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@Martyn2 , OMG , what is your now ex friend thinking of . I really will never understand some people . I’m sure if you wanted to find another partner , you would be the one to chose who it was . Not some “friends” cast off . Sorry if that offends anyone . x
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Me too the weirdos but it does break me I want that again hopefully
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Life is so cruel i always think loving couples should die together but that is not the case unfortunately
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I really thought I would die just after my husband did . Then I thought after his funeral . I begged and pleaded with him every night to come and get me . Its two and half years since he died , and unfortunately I’m still here, I don’t know how ,and I dread to think how long I have to live this lonely life without him . Yes it would be perfect if loving couples died together, but obviously not till they are really old ,and have lived their lives. It would stop a lot of heartbreak .xtake carex
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Thank you I want to go to my husband x life is not the same anymore x
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Broken2222. Exactly i don’t want anyone else.sue was the best thing to ever happen to me and I told sue that after what she said on her last Christmas that i would soon find someone else it brought me to tears and I told sue i wasn’t interested in anyone else and i meant it xx
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Broken2222 exactly .i really don’t want anyone else x
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When my wife heard she had terminal cancer last year she told me that, when she went, I’d be young enough to find someone else. I could never, ever think of meeting someone else - it makes me physically sick to even think about it. She will always be the love of my life. I bought her an eternity ring 5 years ago and, to me, eternity means eternity.
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I feel for you lovely. What is is with people that thinks it’s OK to suggest that we need a partner to ‘replace’ the love of our life we have lost and will forever grieve for? How damn insensitive. On top of our grief, we find out who are our true friends, who are there for us, those who are not, well, its like a double bereavement isnt it. I’ve blocked and deleted so mamy people since i lost my Mick 12 months ago. They clearly were never friends. Darling, they have done us a favour. Focus on those who wrap their arms around us in our darkest moments. The rest dont matter. And when they find themselves in the same pain and despair we are going through, they will also experience the loneliness of not having us being their for them. Souls like you and I, everyone in this support group, will always be there for one another. Strangers that are genuine friends more so than those we thought were. Sending you so much love 
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Well said Annalisa
I don’t need 2 hands to count my true friends
I only have 3…… 3 true friends
The rest show no empathy whatsoever
It’s 19 month since I lost Paul and I’m struggling …… ‘friends’ just look at you as much as to ‘really…… still’!
As you say one day they’ll find themselves in our position and then realise how bloody hard life is without your soulmate
It’s empty lonely and ‘alone’
With no one watching your back any more
I don’t live I exist…… the reason i did live I had Paul ……. Heartbreaking totally
Lolxx
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Well said annalisa.the support and love from this group who feel like family
There are some that don’t understand the magnitude of our grief . I saw my work friends at an afternoon in the first couple of months as they had flowers for me . One suggested that I should find another . I wanted to scream at her . She has no comprehension as she has never had a long term relationship. I have had the best . No one could replace him . I miss him so
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@ Enorac I get that. This is the reason I do not feel going to the church (was never going regularly due to other reasons). Church is the last place I find God… He is in my heart with my beloved. We walk everyday together… spiritually. Big hug, and lots of love…
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LolaA
I did go to a specific 4pm choral evensong just for the music.
I bumped into a person i knew before the pandemic so that was nice. Had cup tea and cake afterwards.
But wouldnt have gone otherwise.
I met another lady I hasn’t seen for a long time in Aldi and she told me about a new senior screen I could go to.
So might do that is off peak on Thursday if it is a wet cold day. I used to go before the pandemic.
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Things we do to keep ourselves ‘sane’
Grief is timeless unlimited and real
Utterly horrendous
I take Paul with me everywhere he’s part of my DNA and always will be
Xx
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Well in a way it is like he kinda with me in my mind recalling when he was there with me then upset on way home.
But I have to learn to live with it as no choice as worse stuck indoors non stop. I did go to things without him anyway sometimes but was nice to see him there.
Lately people have mentioned when they saw him on his own probably doing last things as he liked to clear up loose ends. I feel I am letting him down not keeping it up. But I feel it gets too much. I need to do what I like. For instance it calms me down doing my knitting or sewing like it calmed him down weeding. I fight with myself forcing myself to try to do jobs he did. Feel as if he is looking down would hate messy garage he always tidied up. I do a bit then do bit what I want which means I don’t complete things.
But grief gets in the way. Today washing out a container to take a salad with me tonight for a shared supper which is only a one off. I am trying to pace myself.
Feels huge effort to get ready because I have got out of the routine.
I can’t wriggle out of it because I am being picked up. Otherwise unless I am very motivated I would just not go if things go wrong. Confidence is a huge barrier.
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