I still find it hard to look at photos of my daughter after more than two years. Is that unusual?
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I think you do what you wont to do ,wont be alone put your feet up relax be kind to yourself .
I was told that to but ive gone back-to-my painting and thats my comfort i was never one for clubs and pubs any way . Do what you feel right for you .
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Nothing is unusual with that depth of grief. Do whatever hurts you the least x
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No georgiegirl I believe if you cannot you cannot I lost my mam 23 year ago and still cannot bring myself to fully look as it upsets me to much my family have videos of my mam and I have never ever wanted to watch them it would break my heart 
So do not think yourself unusual it will come when it does 
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Everybody has the best intentions but I think with us that have lost we now look at things differently. Everybody grieves differently. You carry on doing what gets you through the days.
Iāve had people tell me to do stuff, but everything I enjoyed doing I did with my Julie. Nothing is the same anymore.
People try their best to help you.
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Hi Ali66
They just donāt get it. The only person you could join this and that with is no longer there. They are ignorant to facts and feelings. Take your time and only do things when you feel you want to and if you donāt want to, then that sounds absolutely fine and normal to me too. Iām the same. Take care x
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Morning Kingo and Kittycat
My sentiments exactly
Did we know what it felt like until we lost our soulmate ā¦ā¦ no
Itās sheer hell as you say we now have no one
I too look at things differently especially couples they have no idea what they are in for
And ā¦. You find out who your friends are!
Lolxx
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I fully agree with you. Its very difficult to have a normal conversation with anyone talking about the mundane things without them asking about how I am coping and I should go out and make new friends or even find a GF etc. It feels so hollow to listen to their suggestions as if they have passed through an exact situation and they came out triumphantly practicing these activities. Its as if everyone is an expert Grief-resolver or handler. No one wants to put themselves in our shoes.
Well, no solution or suggestion works. Days would pass by and the world might move on, maybe the wars would stop but the hole in our heart would remain. GOD knows, how and when it would be filled.
Life is tough.
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Hi CheerMe up
Too right
I lost Paul 24th July 2022
Some folk say the first year is the hardest
One of my friends even rang 25 th July 2023 and said are you feeling better now the first year is over
WHAT!
I donāt care what folks think my counsellor
says it takes as long as it takes
Another thing she said early on ( being seeing her since 3/10/22)
Donāt today your fine when your not
I arenāt so I say Iām struggling or Iām finding it hard
Their silence says more about them than me
Lolxx
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PS should read
Donāt say your fine if your not
Xx
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I donāt say Iām fine anymore. I used to give the standard answer Iām OK so as not to burden people. Now if people ask I say ādo you want the standard answer Iām OK or do you want to know that todayās not bad but yesterday I fell apartā.
It kind of sorts out who is really interested and who is just making conversation. People have got used to my response now and some do want to talk to me about the bad days.
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Hi
Yes grief does sort the men out from the boys
Iāve got a very small number of friends āpropping me upā
A lot fallen by the way side
Their loss Iāll never forget tho!
Take care
Xx
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I bumped into a āfriendā this morning. They asked how I was doing to which I replied, āreally strugglingā. Their response was āyou need to snap out of thisā. WTF! I gave them a (polite) mouthful and walked away.
I give up. I really do. Iām just so fed up of getting burnt like this.
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I would have replied to that by saying āremember what you said if you ever end up in this situation and itāll tell you why we havenāt spoken for so longā
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All we need is a good listener (not on phone or facetime or whatsapp audio) but F2F and listen to us, just like the ones people do in support groups. A hug maybe.
Well, there is no timeline by which the grief would be over and we would be normal. I lost my wife on 22-Aug-2023, after 29 years of relationship (27 yrs of marriage included). And my son of 18 lost his mother. He is surprisingly strong not to cry or display his emotions at all except twice. But I am just the opposite but I feel no shy in expressing my feelings in public or on phone.
Just display your emotions, feelings or whatever wells up. Donāt suppress.
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Hi I still have all my late wifeās clothes ,she passed away 27th September 2021 from stage 4 bladder cancer.I cherish everything she owned,her clothes are sacred now.I cannot sleep in what was our bedroom ,I have moved into the second bedroom and left our room just as it was.This life is cruel to the nice people and lets evil people live on.I have trouble living without her and every day is a struggle. Michael xx
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I also had a couple of good friends who were there for me when I needed it.Listened and gave me comfort.A friend in need is a friend indeed so very true.Grief takes no prisoners.It can eat you away day after day,over 2 years now since she was taken ,the loneliness is horrendous.The silence is deafening.xx Michael.
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What a lovely thing to do .x Michael
I send a message to my wifeās WhatsApp account every month to tell her whats been happening whilst sheās been away.
Might seem daft. I get upset sometimes when Iām doing it and then other times it makes me smile.
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So so true Mickeyboy31
Itās ok folk saying ā¦ā¦ they wouldnāt you to this or that or the other theyād want you to move on
My answer to that
You try it mate
So so bloody hard
I donāt want a new life there was nothing wrong with our lifeā¦ā¦
I agree scoundrels live on the best are ātakenā
Im heartbroken as we all are and thereās nothing to heal a broken heart
Lolxx
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