Morning Martyn2
I know Paul would’ve wanted the same for me but
It’s bloody hard…… as we all know
Xx
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Cruel as hell. Michael xx
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Bess 1 afternoon. Definitely some days are better than others.but we made our partners a promise to carry on fighting xx
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Hi Martyn2
We did but…….
Xx
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Bess1 its not so easy is it xx
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Hi Martyn2
No
Xx
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Hi Annalisa
I feel just the same x
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Well my Son has been offered a flat and the days are being counted down to him moving in which I am dreading as I have never been on my own in my life 
New one now being said to me since this news is Ooh you will cope. Ooh you will manage, Ooh you will get used to it I just despair yet again you are telling me how I am going to cope with this another change after loosing my hubby a year ago I am still trying to cope with the loneliness of that I want to scream how the hell do you know can you read my mind can you see into my heart plus you are not totally on your own in that long drawn out silence going to bed on a night time feeling so alone you feel physically sick reason being you have your loved one beside you Eeh just another illusion people have in their head of how you are supposed to cope I mean lets face it they know because when it hasn’t even happened to you yet doesn’t it give the green light to tell others what to do 
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Yes I am still feeling hating bossy comments. I wish I could control my reaction though.
Why can’t I just keep calm? But he just get stewed up.
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Totally get this - at the age of 55 I’m living by myself for the first time. Until now, there has always been someone here, even when my mum had vascular dementia and Christine was having 4 care visits each day. Now, there’s no one.
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Hi Woman -50
Yes I’m alone and im sorry your son is soon leaving
The rest of your post all I’ll say is congratulations you’ve exactly hit the nail on the head
I’m 16 months on and not coping at all so called ‘friends ‘ look at me as if to say ‘really’
So much for support of some folk
You sure find out who your friends are
Take care
lol
Xx
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Hi @Woman-50,
Yup, completely understand what you say. Could have written it myself. Come January it will be two years since my gorgeous Christine died. It has been and remains a living nightmare of sadness and aloneness. Ghastly.
I too am still being blindsided by new stupid and thoughtless things folk say to me.
Best wishes to you.
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Thank you all for your replies it makes me feel I am not the only one going through this heartbreak bless you all 
It is funny how every emotion comes your way especially when others are sticking their Tuppenny worth in I even had my sister compere it to when her hubby worked away and she got used to it it WTH!!!
Take care everyone xx
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Hi
Nothing prepares you for this pain and as you say no one except us here knows the sheer hell of losing our soulmate to say our hearts are broken is an understatement
It’s a lonely ‘alone’ existence
Christmas and New Year ( we always enjoyed it) now is sheer hell
Take care
Xx
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I so empathise Dazzaman. Im 55, no family at all and on own since my Michael passed in Feb. I’ve never been on my own before and feel i dont know who I am. Im certainly not the person i always thought I was and dont have the energy or inclination. I was happy identifying with being my lovely husbands wife. He was my whole world. I have become quite reclusive outside of work. I find it easier to avoid people than grit my teeth or lose the plot having to listen to the insensitive comments of those who have yet to experience the loss we on here are suffering, particularly at this time of year. Sending all of my love to all of you in this group 
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I know how you feel. My daughter tells me to join a library, enrol in a evening class etc. Stuff i never did in the 40 years of marriage to my husband. He died in May and its left me with anxiety. I dont drive so getting on buses especially in dark makes me anxious. I miss him so much yet i apparently need to get out more accordingly to well meaning friends but its so hard.
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Hi jol … im not at work … retired from nhs now … i volunteer for stroke association. Cant sleep tonight its so tough isnt it ? I wonder where my life gonna lead me ? Scary sometimes. I got talking to a guy who used to be a manager in mental health but hes now retired … strange coincidence isnt it ? Nice man he is xxx
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@Deb5 sorry you can’t sleep . I hated constantly waking at 4am so I am glad of this temporary crutch of mitazapine. It’s a great coincidence that you met him isn’t it . He could be very attuned to our grief .
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Yeh he has been kind and there seems to be a lack of kindness in the world … its a rocky road isn’t it… im so fed up with it all today tbh … xx
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