Hi Dol,
Not really frozen chips,micro ready meals,my wife was also a great baker,I loved her cakes,buns,pasties etc haven’t been able to face shop bought pastries.
Take care sending love Ron.
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We too, bought an air fryer, which like you, is sitting on the worktop. My husband loved cooking and did most of it. The freezer is full of ingredients we had bought for meals he was going to prepare. My diet now consists of microwave meals, sandwiches or biscuits. This might sound ridiculous, but I can’t eat biscuits with my coffee in a morning because we always shared.
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Hi @Dol1
You probably don’t believe it, I wouldn’t have done.
But you will come to a point where you will cope.
It’s still unreal but I am trying really hard to move forward.
I still cry, everyday. Its the missing, its hell
I’ve come to realise that I can’t be wretched forever and I must move forward.
I know it wont be easy, but I’m ready to try.
I also know there are plenty of friends here to catch me if I fall
We are all here for each other
We all look out for each other.
We will see you through this.
No matter how long it takes
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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Thank you for that lovely post.
You sound so positive and it is so nice to hear that.
Can you tell me what I can do to get me moving forward.
I don’t want to forget my wonderful husband Sam or feel as though I am leaving him behind.
I have had to do some things absolutely necessary
But made me feel so bad. Sell his nearly new jeep,remove his name from our joint bank account and all the utilities and insurances.Cancel his cards.
I felt like a traitor and a judas like you were here with me for half my life and now I am kicking you out.
I wonder if anyone else feels like that.
Support and love to all
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Hi Dol yes I feel like that too. Every time I close another account it’s like I’m wiping him out of my life and soon by finalising all the admin it will feel like he never existed.
There really is nothing you can do to make yourself feel better - just take it a day at a time. I’m 15 weeks in today and all I can say is that you get more used to the grief and let it come and live with it. It comes in waves but you will get better at coping somehow. There’s no way to hasten that , it just happens.
Everyone is always here for you, particularly on the really awful days that we all experience.
I’m so glad I found this site. It’s been a lifeline.
Sending love and strength xx
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I know how you feel. My husband died last September and his funeral was on 11 October. So many family and friends turned out for him and offered me and my children support. Apart from family members, not one of his old friends has been in touch with me. I took feel total abandonment by those so called friends. Soon it’ll be the anniversary of his death and I’m sure it’ll be just me, the kids, grandkids and my brothers and cousins who will remember. Life moves on for them all but for me I’m still very much grieving the loss of my life partner of 50 years.
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Hi Jody,
I posted on her a few days ago when my wife’s probate was finalised,everything was concluded,it just felt as though there was no live records of her now,everything consigned to dusty files and databases,it almost destroyed me.
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Good morning @Dol1
I’m afraid I can’t tell you how to move forward. It will just happen when you are ready
I was so determined on Saturday that I was going to go forward, no more tears or upset. Onwards and upwards.
That lasted until I woke up during the night to a sad song being sung on the tv.
I cumbled, again, I felt I was letting Roger down by not moving forward
I realise now I probably had put too much pressure on myself and was trying to walk before I can run.
So now the plan is to move forward but to accept the falls, and just pick myself up as best I can . If I cry, I cry, its ok.
Crying is ok, its good for us.
It will happen for you, but it does take a while and its not easy
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
You will realise one day that you are coping.
Big hugs
Liz x x
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I don’t think I will ever cope, no mater how ever long I take one day at a time.
It’s only 8 weeks but feels like 8 years.
All the things we have to do feels like we are removing their existence all clothe a personal effects still exactly where they were can not even think about moving them let alone getting shut of them.
The living nightmare continues
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So very sorry.
I have not moved anything and at the moment I don’t intend to.
I cannot see a time when I will.
Nothing is in the way or needs to go.
If anyone has a problem with it, then it is just that, their problem.
I think many of us are taking it a day at a time.
This is a good site to share your thoughts and feelings.
We understand.
Thinking of you,
Rose x
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It’s only 7 weeks since I lost my husband. Wouldn’t think of moving anything for a long time to come. It’s bad enough taking his name off bank accounts and bills etc.
I just about manage to do one thing per day. Rest of the day it’s tv on and do nothing else. It’s my way of coping because at the moment I can’t see any light at the end of a very long tunnel.
Love and hugs to all on here - it’s so heartbreaking 
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Big hug 
xx
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If crying is good I must be doing well then, I just can not stop at least 5 times a day I break down floods of tears at the slightest thing.
I was walking i town last night and a ambulance drove pats flashing lights and all that took me straight back to the night I lost her walked home in tears evryone looking at me.
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Hello rose
Like you I haven’t moved anything in my fourteen weeks of misery.
I look at my husbands things the last items he wore and his watch on his bedside cabinet.
I am wearing his wedding ring and can’t believe it is not on his finger I could scream out loud but I keep it in .
When I am upset I am aware our dog feels it she is so sensitive.
She misses him so much and I don’t want her to be more upset.
She has become my shadow I feel like a shadow.
I see his lovely warm new coat I bought for him at Xmas hanging up.
This is so hard especially like so many of us having to delete him effectively out of our life.
All necessary but so cruel and hurting.On paper
He no longer exists.
I wonder what he would think of all of this.
We often talked about things but all of this I believe never crossed his mind certainly not mine,
We all of us have no choice but to carry on in what ever miserable way we can and it is so final.
Many hugs to all
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I have got rid of some stuff. My daughter is in a wheelchair and her pads are delivered every three months. We used to store them in the loft. It is easier if I store them and her spare wheelchair downstairs, where I need them. They are now in the understairs cupboard where coats used to be. Space is at a premium for me. I have to make life as easy as it can be, so I bit the bullet and sent some clothes to my daughter’s day centre. They often need a spare coat or clothes. I put his tatty old gardening clothes and shoes in the recycle bin.
His watch, headphones and things like that are put away for now. I got upset every time I saw them where he had left them. I don’t look at photos either. I have binned all the photos and albums he had before I knew him, and two filing cupboard drawers of old paperwork he had kept. None of these things give me any comfort.
The next thing to go to the charity shop will be his cds and dvds. Our musical tastes were different.
I guess we all have to do what suits us. Unfortunately there isn’t a one-size-fits-all guide to grief.
If something hurts to look at, I get rid of it. If something makes life easier or better, I do it.
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I understand.
I feel the same.
I also cheer up for the cats, well put on a cheery act.
I had to get the vet out for the elderly cat not long after my husband died.
The vet examined him and said he was physically fine for his age and
that he was grieving.
We didn’t discuss funerals or afterwards.
I certainly had no idea of all the aspects of grief or being without him.
There are so many things that have taken me by surprise and shaken me.
Thinking of you and sending a big hug,
Rose
Xx
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Getting rid of stuff is a personal choice, and up to the individual concerned I can understand if you need the space or the loved ones articles are bothering you the best choice is to get them gone in a nice way either to charity or recycling them.
I don’t need the space and they don’t bother me, her slippers are still by the bed shoes and boots in their place in the rack eventually I know they will have to go but in my time, as for now getting shut would be the worse option when t lift up her slippers to hoover I do get upset but not had as much as I would do if I were to recycle them…
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I did get rid of a few things,
books and an old sideboard I hated.
After they’d gone I felt really guilty.
His clothes are still in the wardrobe. I’m nowhere near ready to sort them out.
One day eventually, maybe…
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Hello Steve
I agree do what is right for you and all of us.
My husband’s things some of them are still behind the bedroom door.
I had recently bought him a lovely cream cardi and some new jeans and joggers never worn labels still on.
He had lots of lovely things and was always saying don’t buy me any more clothes I can’t wear what I’ve got.
The wardrobes are bulging but I think if he was still here it would be the same.
He says I kept him trendy and we used to laugh.
The heart ache I have is not able to be measured.
He always said to me I love you me darlin
I would say I love you more he said I love you to the moon and back.
His beard trimmer is in the cupboard and the fancy beard oil I bought him for Xmas barely used.
He wasn’t a fancy smancy man he said he was a mans man and that was true.
Gorgeous .
I would keep your dear wife’s little slippers close.
My husband’s watch is on the bedside table just where he left it . He wasn’t a possessions kind of man.
I have his few bits of jewellery and I now wear his wedding ring
Thinking of you and wishing you comfort
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Dol1. I wear my husband’s wedding ring. In April I treated him to some summer shirts, shorts and trainers. He was so looking forward to the summer and wearing them - it wasn’t to be. There are a couple of new fleeces ready for Autumn still with the tickets in them 
His shaver is on the windowsill of the ensuite and will stay there.
We chose to keep or get rid of things when we’re ready. It’s not up to anyone else to tell us what to do, especially those who have no idea what we are going through. My husband’s name has been wiped off bank accounts, off the TV licence, off various appliance repair insurances etc. I can’t get rid of clothes or shoes or other personal items because that would feel like I was wiping him out altogether and I’m just not prepared to even consider it yet.
This is an awfully long tunnel and at the moment I can’t see a light at the end of it.
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