That is what I was thinking. Maybe a rescue dog. I will seriously consider it after Christmas. How are you doing today? Xx
Yes a rescue dog will be great! Mine are all rescues and they are the best companions in the world. But good idea to think about it a bit first. Im not too bad today - my current plan of action is to keep ultra busy so i dont have time to think but i know i risk making myself ill as i already have chronic fatigue but i dont know how else to cope. Take care and look after yourself. X
I am doing the same and trying to keep busy. It helps a bit but be careful to take care of yourself as well. Xx
hi. well, I can sleep, but having weird dreams and waking up with a sick head-ache nearly every morning, even had 2 migraines with the â auraâ in the eyes this week, but the pain did not get too bad, if I did not know it was a migraine,and all I have to do is sit quietly till it goes, it could be worrying⌠it is 2 months now since my husband died and at the moment I think I feel worse than I did a couple of weeks ago, try to have a good day and take care.x
3 Likes
I recognise that sick feeling on wake up and weird dreams. I think thatâs because your thoughts are free when you are asleep and go a bit wild! During the day you can try to think of other things but at night itâs free fall. Grief feels like itâs getting worse as the days go on, how to cope?
3 Likes
I think , getting through each day must be coping, since writing this i have sat down and sobbed twice at the thought of the days, weeks, months stretching out in front of me, yes I have family, and a lovely dog, money-wise I am o.k. I have a car, so I could go out if I wanted to, but somehow
I donât, one of my daughters just rang to say she was off to the beach with the dogs and did I want to come⌠I expect I will go,I might even walk somewhere, but it will be in that automatic world that we do not want to be in. so at the end of another day, i will have âcopedâ, I feel it gets worse as time goes on, people tell me it will get better, well, i am really looking forward to that time⌠again, take care.x
4 Likes
Enjoy your walk and your dogs on the beach. I too live near the beach and I used to love it but sadly that love went with my husband I just think of how he loved it and I miss walking with him. I think you are right itâs just surviving the days until it gets a bit better. I am told that it does get better but I think itâs going to take strength and great effort, but I am going to do my best to get some pleasure back, donât know how yet.
My daughter has been a rock, sounds like yours is too x
1 Like
well, went to the beach, it was the first time since my husband died, and really I was not looking forward to it, and actually did not walk that far, but at least i did it, just kept hoping I did not meet anyone who asked how he was, or âsorry to hearâ, but back home now, itâs pouring with rain, so very wet, as though the whole world is crying with us. i am in the â far south westâ?? both my daughters are ârocksâ donât know how iI
would have got this far without them, but they have their own lives and jobs and i donât want to heap too much on themâŚ
,
1 Like
Having a truly rubbish day. Started with the internet not working. After trying via messaging finally got through to a person who fixed it. Then did some washing which as I was getting it out fell on the floor. Couldnât get an app to recognise me although I am the account holder. That is now fixed. Was going to have some melon for my lunch but it had no taste. Found stuff in the extension that my husband had bought in bulk which had well exceeded its use by date (2022) so have had to throw it away. So now going to have a quick cry which will make me feel better and watch rubbish on the TV. My carer from this morning noticed I was having a bad day and the internet was still down so popped back at the end of her shift to check on me. Hope you all have better day than me. Xx. Sandra
4 Likes
Hi Sandra. Days like this make everything worse. It feels like everything you do goes wrong and it is horrible. I am just hoping your day gets better and it will pass. Just remember it will pass and take care. Sending you love. Xx
1 Like
Thank you @Billie7. I know it is just another trough. It didnât help when my sister in law rang and started talking about Christmas. She is not normally so stupid but I think she was worried in case I expected them. Having said their son had in invited them for Christmas and knowing I canât travel far. What does she think I will be doing. Sitting here in my own of course and probably bawling my eyes out. At least she had the sense to stop when I said I didnât want to think about it. She just doesnât know how to talk about this. She wouldnât be purposely thoughtless or cruel. I have known her since I was 11.
I am going to write off today and start fresh tomorrow. Watch a whole load of rubbish TV. Eat my bangers and mash and then eventually go to bed exhausted.
Only good news today when you are as overweight as I am is I have lost another 1lb. Though the brain fog did make me think I had lost 2st 10 lb it is actually 1st 10 lb which strangely I am happier with. Thanks again.
2 Likes
Oh pudding I know what you mean my sister is talking about Christmas . I canât face it this year but she doesnât listen at all .
I am going abroad for this first one I think it would be far too sad without my Andrew and his massive trimmings he used to put up .
1 Like
hi there, yes our first christmas without [quote=âJol, post:135, topic:74336, full:trueâ]
Oh pudding I know what you mean my sister is talking about Christmas . I canât face it this year but she doesnât listen at all .
I am going abroad for this first one I think it would be far too sad without my Andrew and his massive trimmings he used to put up .
[/quote]
1 Like
oops type of a typo there i think, fingers wonât behave todayâ. i meant to put, for this our first christmas without my husband, and because my eldest daughters husband will be in the falklands this year and her son works away, we are not having the âtraditional christmasâ yes, we will put the tree up, because it was my husbands pride and joy, but other than that, we have ordered â lovely thingsâ from SAINSBURYS for our dinner, there will be other nice things as well, but i am thinking it will be hard to get through it without tears. I am also having an awful day, I seem to feel full of pain and sorrow, but, we have done it , and hopefully tomorrow will be better for us all.xx
3 Likes
People can be so insensitive canât they, they have no idea, I have a relative like that, keeps sending me pictures of their lovely days out as a couple, donât they realise how this makes me feel even more lonely. We used to have those days out, donât they remember grrrr
3 Likes
She really wouldnât do it on purpose. People really donât know how to talk or act around you. There is no rule book. Taking I was married to the youngest of 3 brothers it seems unfair it is me it has hit first. I think I could have made all the same mistakes if it had been one of the brothers.
I am in a much better place to support my brother when the time comes. His wife has terminal ovarian cancer
They have said they will try and come in the New Year to help me sort some more of this house out.
1 Like
Very true I think they just want me to be happy, that is a lovely ambition, maybe one day but not 4 weeks after I lost my man x
1 Like
I honestly believe time moves at a different pace for the bereaved and non bereaved. It is just coming up to 5 months for me and yet feels forever. I have trouble remembering a time when I was happy.
5 Likes
I think some days you just have to throw the towel in and call it a crap day. I have had doctors appointment this morning and the dreaded smear. Unsurprisingly my blood pressure was high so now got to go on 24 hr monitor. What do they expect, my stress levels are off the scale! Also asked if I was using contraception??? You can imagine my answer.
I cannot think about Christmas and I feel like it is being shoved down my throat. I am having an angry day but hopefully tomorrow will be better. Take care all of you and thanks for being there. Xxx
3 Likes
I keep busy and am focusing on improvements to house . I know that doing things all the time masks the pain at times but then when I am quiet it hits me hard again . The horror of it is too much to think about . We were so very close .
1 Like