So caring !!!
It’s so hard and lonely isn’t it - I’m so sorry you are feeling this way too.
Hopefully you are sleeping now. My dog just woke me up- she wanted out- she never used to do this before but now often wakes me up super early- she is also out of sorts.
Xxx
We also have a dog as soon as we put our shoes on to leave he goes loopy. When Darren passed for a couple of weeks Gizmo went crazy when someone sat in Darrens seat. He will now either sit there himself and allows family to sit there but no one else. When we come in he goes berserk. Needing 5 minutes of fuss. Its as if he thinks we arent returning. If i mention Darrens name he witger loooks towards the front or backdoor and the sofa. It has obviously been suffering as well. We are moving to a smaller house very soon and hope Gizmo calms down.
I feel guilty leaving the house we are in now as its just not nanageable and i have to look to future my son is 22 he wont want to live with me forever. I do not expect to move again. Financially I can afford everything on my own. I dont want to have to rely on anyone. I find everything’s come at once.
I can totally empathise with what you are saying , my wife’s brother and mum both go on constantly about how much they miss my wife as if it’s only them grieving ( they live in Belfast and we are in Manchester ) , they saw her 2-3 times a year , but spoke most days on the phone .
It’s so hard not to say ‘ you miss a phone call , I’m missing my soulmate who was with me virtually 24 hours a day ‘ when they go on about how they are grieving so much , then get on with their lives the same as before while mine is in pieces .
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People just dont get it do they … stay strong. You know how you are grieving more and maybe you should actually remind them of that ? Xx
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Nothing compares to the loss of a soulmate, two people who chose each other over everyone else. Try not to focus on how others are acting focus on you. You also don’t no what goes on behind closed doors, we all have coping strategies and a front X
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Always wise and very comforting words Katyh. Xx
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Today has been hell, and I don’t know why. It will be three weeks tonight since my life became a nightmare. I can’t stop crying every few minutes no matter what I try to do. The house is so empty, everything seems pointless and nothing eases this pain. I have tidied the house, done a bit of gardening, read a bit on here, read my book, but nothing helps. The weekend ahead fills me with dread. I am feeling really desperately lonely. My car is off the road, my son is busy, my only remaining sister has severe dementia. I live at the end of a country lane and my very few friends either live hundreds of miles away or are busy with family life. How to fill the hours?
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Hi @Willow112
Sorry you are having a terrible day. It’s a horrible place to be in. Are you able to fix your car, so you have freedom to go places or visit friends? X
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A first time for everything Katyh 
. Xx
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I am trying to keep myself busy organising my weekend. I know that Sunday is going to be extremely difficult for our children and Darrens dad (Darren beinv an only child). Any ideas on what i can offer to do with it being fathers day? I could create a memory scrapbook tomorrow using plenty of photos as i have been having some printed for wall displays. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to send ideas over
That sounds like a great idea.
Me and the kids have decided to go for a day trip to the seaside where we would often go with their dad, play some putting , maybe walk on the beach and get an ice cream.
We’ll pick a favourite meal of their dads for dinner and make a Father’s Day cake as we always did. And I am sure we will have lots of tears and probably some laughter along the way.
It might end up being awful and if it is we will try something different next year. But I hope we will be able to remember the good times with some hope that things will be easier next time.
Hope your day goes ok and your kids can get through the day xxx
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Darrens parents live in Skegness, my girls wanted to go there tomorrow as we often went there for days/weekend breaks. Darrens dad has said he doesn’t want to celebrate fathers day, he wants to be with Darrens mum. We ard respecting his wishes. Insread my son and I are moving to a smaller property, my oldest daughters husband is a painter and decorater so we are going there to work on the house and garden. Its nice as I get to spend tomorrow with my grandchildren. (2 days in a row).
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Fathers day is going to be so sad for all of us last fathers day we spent with my dad and my husband had a fantastic day with all our family in our garden little did we no this year ive lost my dad and my husband so I’m spending it with my daughter were having a meal and maybe a couple of glasses of wine so different from last year make the most of every second cause you don’t no when it will be the last love to everyone on this site we all are going through the same heartache xx
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Sometimes to ‘live for today’ works so well as you honestly never know what’s around the corner and life is so very precious.
My partner and I did that and pleased we did.
Still lots more that I wished we had time to do but after a truly courageous battle, the cancer defeated my brave warrior.
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So I made it to my nephews wedding today and apart from a few tears during the ceremony when they mentioned loved ones lost, I was doing really well I thought.
Maybe not life and soul of the party but talking and being part of the day.
Then the ceilidh kicked in. A gay gordens with my son and then that was it.
The whole load of grief just came crashing in all at once. I tried sitting outside for a bit to compose myself but just couldn’t stop the tears so have had to leave.
Am now sitting in the car having a good cry and feeling so very sad and missing my husband.
It’s just not the same without him and I wish he was here with me.
Life just sucks. Xx
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Aw so sorry to hear that Roni, at least you had some of the day that you got through and enjoyed a little. A wedding day is probably too long and intense for any of us. Yes that is the awful thing, everything reminds us of our loved ones, every thing hurts, even walking round shops is hard so you did well to do as much as you did. XX
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So very sorry, you were very brave to go. Feeling your pain xx
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Thankyou for your kind words.
Back home now and feeling a bit safer. It can make you very vulnerable being in a situation like today where it’s very difficult to leave and I really didn’t want to be a downer for my nephews wedding day.
The kids have all crashed now too, one after the other tonight, and although it has been a hideous end to the day I am so proud of how they have coped and it was so heartwarming to see them hug each other , cry together and support one another along with me. Their dad would be so proud of them - but sadly that has little comfort at the moment. Just breaks my heart.
So good to have a place here where you can share your thoughts and feelings when there aren’t others around who can help or understand.
Safe sleeping all xx
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