Money always starts rows !! Jeez families ! I just had to go for a physio appointment- nothing serious just a back nerve … it was awful … because it was at same hospital where my husband was treated and got his terminal diagnosis ! When does this ever stop and when does it get easier ? Im in floods of tears right now 
god bless us and love us cos this is so hard to bear some days !! xx
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Thinking of you Deb5.
Take Care xx
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Thanks. Honestly it came out of the blue … really upset me today ! Sad, sad memories ! He was only 60 … and they lead him down the garden path … my lovely husband of 35 years a much loved father and Grandfather … life can be so cruel,so unfair !! x
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Life can be and is so unfair and is difficult to endure at times.
But how lucky were you for having him for 35 years. 
Hopefully we can all come to a stage where we start to feel less of the sadness and despair and more of the good memories.
I wish that time would hurry along for me, but I know this is a long journey that I will need to travel.
Hope the rest of your day gets better xxx
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Thank you. been ok last few days and today tears have come - i might have had 35 years but he was only 60 … didnt ever expect to lose him so young !! Other people still have their bloody husbands !! xx
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Sending you a big hug.
There are so many reminders and triggers
Rose xx
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Yeh i did well not to cry in the hospital ! Had to really deep breath to keep it in !! It reminds me that im not as strong as i sometimes think … we still fragile arent we ? Xx
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I know. I had 31 years of marriage and my husband was only 56, healthy and full of life.
It is just completely crap ( excuse the language ). Not one good thing will ever come out of this. But tomorrow may be a better day - or at least a less bad day.
Sending hugs xx
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I know thanks. Its just not fair ! And its really hard without them too isnt it ? Sorry your husband was only 56 and i know what you mean tomorrow may be a better day but today is a sad one and i didnt see it coming either … Xx
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I find those bad days just creep up behind you when you least expect them.
Although I’m not sure if I remember what a good day is anymore.
Probably When he was still here and we were just a normal family. Just so very sad. Xx
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Hi ever
I’m afraid nothing is normal anymore.
I’ve had a good day today. I’ve been with people that loved and respected Roger. Weve talked and laughed, but I didn’t cry.
I wouldn’t cry.
So now I feel wretched again. When will this rollercoaster ever stop and let us off?
Will it ever stop and let us off ?
I’m sorry if I’ve come across as negative. I had a positive day. But now …
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Youre not negative. You’re hurt and lost like us all and today I’m also angry. I’m angry because he’s left me behind. It wasnt supposed to be like this.
I’m exhausted right now after having a tantrum and sobbing for ages.
Yesterday wasn’t too bad but that’s what happens, you just have no idea what each day will bring or what will set you off .
It’s 20 weeks now and the pain is just awful. I’d give anything to feel him hold me and tell me everything will be ok.
Sorry have to go…crying again.
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Oh @Lottie79
I’m sorry but I’m crying too.
I’m 15 weeks in now.
Some days I think I’m ok, I’ve just had 2 goodish days.
But now I’m so low again, will this ever get better?
He didn’t want me to be like this, he wanted me to carry on, and I said I’d be fine, I’d be ok.
I think I lied, although I didnt mean to.
I’m not fine and I’m not ok
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I was ok this morning.
Then a letter arrived addressed to my husband,
To see his name really got to me.
I decided to go with the crying. Then I stopped and decided to be positive.
I got some shopping and came home.
That letter keeps creeping into my mind and the tears begin.
Triggers and reminders keep coming don’t they?
Sending positive vibes, love and hugs.
Rose xx
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Yesterday was ok until I found out our car has been scratched down to the bare metal. Woke up this morning feeling queasy because I had a refresher driving lesson which I was dreading. It was ok but I still felt ill all day. Then my daughter came home with a note in her bag saying there had been an incident at the day centre (she has a learning disability), apparently she grabbed one of her group. It isn’t like her but she has been very unsettled since my husband died 18 days ago. I feel as if I am going one step forward and two steps back. I think about something else for a few minutes, then I remember and get that awful pain deep inside. And having to sort the car repair out on top of all the other stuff I am having to do, explaining that he has died. I feel like I am drowning.
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That sounds really hard and 18 days is such a short time. I feel for you. Try to deal with one thing at a time xx
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The drum profile pic or the pic of my Staffie?
So very sorry.
Practical problems as well as grieving , that is so much to deal with.
Sending a very big hug,
Rose xx
You made me laugh! She is a bear.
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My partner passed away after a dreakvcar accident, hecfought for a week but could fight no more. Weekends are my hardest. We had been together for 32 years since the age of 14. I feel like a robot every day. Its been 15 weeks. All i think about is his last words to me ‘I fu**ed up your birthday’
On the 21st Feb i woke up to my daughter taking me for breakfast, when we arrived at the hospital Darren had been put into an induced coma an hour earlier. I just wish that we gad gone straight to the hospital.
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