Thank you for your kind words, her ashes are going in the sea where she grew up but I am keeping some and mixing it with soil and growing a bonsai tree so there is always a bit of her in the house.
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Itās a sad day when the ashes are picked it broke my heart all over again but I say good night to him
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I collected Rās ashes on Friday. I felt so bereft. I wanted him, not his ashes. I am glad he is home, but I need to come to terms wIth life without him 
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So you are new to this grief of your loss for you wife as she passed away on 2nd October 2024 yes everyone seems to experience grief different but it is suffer same so you are writing this to keep things clear in your head really so the first week is awful and you were so numb no real other feelings other than loss so will be very emotions will just sit cried. So you talked to your wife every morning and evening so you spent 27 years together yes so her dying is not stop you talking to her will feel the lost part of you wife wonderful person so you big part of your life together so you have effectively lost half of yourself and there is gaping hole in your heart yes you will get enough strength to think one again and dealing with her things but it is going to bit hard at first just take on day at time. Because part of your life will lot of crying you do
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I can understand completely how you felt.
You never know what will be a trigger. I remember going to the garage for petrol and drove in the exit, which didnāt make me popular. I just broke down, my husband always dealt with the car and it made me feel so alone. The next time I went to get fuel I got it right and I felt so proud of myself. A very small thing to most people but so important.
Take care of yourself and be proud of every small step you take.
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Thank you Karen for all your understanding it has helped me a lot.
I have three adult stepchildren. They have asked me if I am going to a Church service next Sunday where they read out the names of all the people in the Parish who have passed away in the last 12 months. I really donāt want to go it just feels all too much at the moment, but I donāt want to upset them, they can be tricky at times. Do you or anyone else have any advice ?
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hello i am very sad for your loss its so hard i lost my husband of 47 years 5 months ago and his slippers still sit there and his clothes still in wardrobe and his watch wallet and phone where they always were maybe one day i will move them but not yet ilike yourself miss him so much but try to keep busy as thats all i can do
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I have had an invite from the Funeral Directors. They have a memorial every year. It is at the end of November. I have decided to go. I have been avoiding everyone and everything, so have really surprised myself. Donāt be forced into going. It is your decision to make. Hugs
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Itās so hard Billyās chair sits empty but hes out of pain because he suffered we had been married 57 years canāt believe heās gone
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Go to mass with your husbandās kids. You will be in a whole group of people praying for him. Be there. It will do you good. Then, go for donuts.
Much love.
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Grandkids9. So sorry you have to try and make a decision that to all intents looks easy to make. Im finding that Iāve lost a lot of confidence since I lost my husband. Your step children sound very caring. They have asked you if youāll be going to the service so they would probably understand if you told them that at the moment this would be too much for you. It maybe easier to go next year but, for now, just the thought of going to this service is upsetting you. I hope this helps, its what I would say to my family my love x
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I lost my husband in march and everything youre feeling and doing is me,its 7 months and im not movin forward that well,its so hard trying to live without the love of someone whos so close to you,the nightime is terrible as the mornings,the mealtimes seem not worth the preparation,i dont want to go out and if i have to i cant wait get home,it helps reading other posts from people knowing im not on my own,i cant talk a bout it face to face,but i can write about it.
Please take care and be safe reach out to the rest of us,
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My wonderful husband died 6 months ago very suddenly. Iām going through a really rough patch which is being made much worse by sheer lack of sleep. I think the first months were so exhausting but now I canāt seem to get more than 3hrs sleeps a night ā¦ makes everything so hard.
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Sleep is so very important. Canāt function without it my love. I felt I had to go to the doctors as I lost my brother and husband within a month of each other and I couldnāt cope. After a long consultation he prescribed a mild antidepressent which helps with sleep and getting me through the days. Iām not a person who advocates taking medication but it may help you. I believe that if there is something out there that can ease what we are all going through, without being harmful, then go for it. x
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My heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you are feeling because I am going through my own grief having lost my wife of 50 years on 22nd May 2024.
Everyoneās grief is individual and unique .I have learnt so much about grief from reading etc but the most important thing I have learnt is to look after yourself and let your emotions go. Donāt bottle it up ;talk to anyone you love or trust or just meet.
It is good to talk about your lost love. Take each day at a time ; try to look forward but remember all the past happy times. If you want references to any good reading ,reply to this email and I will itemise some. Take care .You are in my thoughts. Remember grief is the price we pay for loving someone.
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Thank you for all your kind thoughts. I still went out today and had a nice chat with a lady in the Waterstones cafe. One day and one night at a time!
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This is how i feel,I lost the love of my life in Febuary and I am not ready to touch any of her things as I think that will be the endā¦ and I am not wanting that. Things of hers are still where she left them. The knitting she was doing the night before she passed she laid on the arm of the chair she was sitting in as she went to bed and to this day that is where it still lay. I may move it one day but that day is nowere near yet. I do not like leaving the house to go shopping as most of thr time we did that together. I think where is sheā¦ she should be with me.
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That was me and my husband donāt like getting on a bus and hate shopping his chair sits empty after 57 years of marriage canāt believe heās gone miss him so much
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Atrum, donāt pressure yourself to sort out your dear wifeās thingsā¦
My other halfā¦that is literally what he was, I feel the same as you do about your wifeā¦ā¦passed away on the 20 Augustā¦his things are exactly where he left them. His walking boots are in the porch, his clothes in the wardrobeā¦his bathrobe on the back of the bathroom doorā¦ā¦I find comfort in his things being around. I have no plans to move themā¦although I expect in years to come I may change my mindā¦ā¦.but I will see.
Do only what you want/need to doā¦ā¦ā¦
When you are ready you will knowā¦.for now just leave difficult things for another time.
Everyoneās grief is personal to themā¦.just do what you feel is right and when itās right for you to do it.
Sending hugs
Lisa
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I am trying to do one thing a day that would make my wife happy rather than sit and get depressed, whether thatās go for a walk, eat healthy or even just talk to friends/family, it brings me out of my head
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