Well if you know what your gut is saying thats good - maybe youve already made the decision but the emotions are stemming from the fact that it represents a change from the status quo, at a time where youve already been through so much change? But either way you know both places, and this isnt necessarily forever. The Heads plans may not work out, a new advisor might not stay long, there are so many variables. So dont feel this is some massive commitment, its what feels right for you now. Just one step at a time 
1 Like
I really want to sleep as I have a busy day at work tomorrow. But my head feels full. I can’t stop thinking about my mom, I miss her so much. I wish she was here to give me some advice and encouragement. I am feeling deflated and discouraged in a lot of areas of my life right now.
I feel the weight of grief. I feel sad that my dad is on his own. It’s just not fair. I need my mom end off
i too feel the same, I lost my mum early december last year. The last 2 months went quick and this year is going by so quick and everyday since she died i’ve been struggling like i haven’t slept properly since she past. it was traumatic for me and how she died still haunts me everyday and in my dreams. maybe that’s why i been struggling even more. i keep praying for some sort of miracle before i go to sleep that when i wake up from this nightmare that she is still here and this was just a nightmare. in fact i find it hard once i’m up and realise she is not there and i find it hard to get up and all. i’m sorry for your loss and that you had to find this forum but all i can say just keep posting here, if you ever feel you want to get anythinh of your chest.
2 Likes
I am so sorry for your loss @mia4 , I can relate the the dreams and trauma. It just keeps playing in your mind. It’s been nearly 6 months for me and I hate it, I just want my mom. I was sleeping on her dressing down for a bit. Now I am wide awake, I can’t believe this is my new reality.
I hope you get some sleep .
1 Like
Each new day is hard 
. I want my daddikins 
.
3 Likes
I am sorry @Burgled . It is hard, each day feels hard. I can’t believe my mom isn’t with us. 
2 Likes
Thank you Becca. There was a lovely little robin perched on my dad’s car today, and later I saw another one in my mum and dad’s back yard . I was feeling wistful about these little visitors… you know what they say about robins and departed loved ones.
2 Likes
That’s lovely, yes robin’s are beautiful and appear when you need them.
I just find every day that goes by I feel sadder that my mom isn’t here to share life with us.
2 Likes
I know what you mean. I would eat with my parents, at theirs or mine, every Sunday. And earlier, mum and I were joking in the kitchen. I forget what about, and I felt sad that ordinarily it would have been the three of us
1 Like
Someone said to me there’ll be good days and bad days, in grief. I disagree: there are bad days and better days. Thanks to me going over the events in the hospital before bed, last night, and Googling things, today doesn’t feel like a great day . The lesson is, don’t revisit it at least until I have my dad’s medical notes. Until then, all I’m doing is torturing myself, with no resolution.
I hope you all have a better day 
.
2 Likes
It’s hard, I go over things in my head a lot. I wish I could just go back in time and do things differently. Spend more time with her, fight a bit harder for her. I am going through her notes again tomorrow with my friend.
Sending lots of love to you
3 Likes
Bad days and slightly less bad days even. I started thinking about the hospital when I woke up this morning. Every little thing going on repeat. You’re right, we’re only torturing ourselves when there’s nothing we can do, but it’s so difficult to stop the thoughts. So, a bad day for me too.
Sending bad-day-extra-huge hugs.
2 Likes
Awww thank you Becca and Ulma. Yes, bad and slightly-less-bad days .
Big hugs
3 Likes
I can’t stop thinking about my mom, what happened and how could they have missed it. His life now does not feel real.
How do I live the rest of my life without her? I am forever changed.
3 Likes
Hiya I’m in the same place as you and probably can’t reassure you, except to let you know you’re not alone
2 Likes
I’m so glad you mentioned Google, I’m trying to ween myself off it, reading everything about grief isn’t really doing me any good 
1 Like
thats sort of the same with me i try ti distract myself but when reading about grief is even worse and quite depressing to read if i’m being honest. i’m sure everyone here has different coping strategies to deal with grief. i try my best as i can to keep busy but some days are just not good.
I started journaling recently and found that useful, just writing how you feel seems to de stress me a little bit x
1 Like
We had a bird table and no birds really. However a robin and sometimes two have come to that bird table alongside other birds every day since mum died on new year’s day
5 Likes
Oh my gosh, every day, really? That’s amazing 
1 Like