I’ll try again later x if not I’ll just get on with it x
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I feel in such a weird mood today. I can’t stop thinking about my mom. My dad said today that he still thinks she’ll walk into the room. Makes me so sad 
. It should have been different.
I’ve had a tough day at work as well. I am just tired of it all. Grief changes everything 
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I had my counselling session today 60 mins went by in a flash a lot different from last week got all the stuff that was making me angry out in the open all the stuff with my sister everything and how it’s made me feel spoke about how empty I’m feeling and if anyone would miss me if I just left the whole lot came home to my dad had something to eat and went to sleep supervisor from work txt me asking if I could give her an idea if I’m going back in 2 weeks as they have staffing issues just told her politely that I couldn’t say how ill feel in two weeks and I’m not going to feel pressured into giving an answer I’m living day by day and I’ll let them know in 2 weeks, councillor told me not to rush things just to see day by day not to feel pressured by work as I’m dealing with a lot at the moment, Did your dad have his appointment how did it go x
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I am pleased your counselling session went well. You’re doing great. Absolutely don’t be pressure to going back to work. I felt pressured and I went back too soon.
My dad got on ok, my GP was lovely with him and we have a plan which is good.
I just feel meh today, not in a good head space with it all.
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I’m still in my dad’s I’m just waiting to collect my daughter from her music lesson then I’m going home and the 3 of them can see to them selves I’m going to sleep my heard hurts I just need to sleep x
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I popped to see my dad after work. We talked a lot about my mom and what happened. All the what ifs. My dad then said I sometimes think she is going to walk through the door. I feel so sad for him, he witnessed some awful stuff while she was at home I am sure. He was basically watching her down in front of him. I can’t imagine how it must feel on his own. I love my dad so much and just wish I could spend more time with him.
My head is all over the place today. I just wish I could have a conversation with my mom. There is so much I want to say to her.
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I am sat at work wanting to go home. I feel like I was in this ‘honeymoon period’ after the Christmas break. Relief I had got through it.
But now I am exhausted and just want to hide. I just want my mom, I miss her so much. Nothing will ever be the same again.
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I am really feeling your pain right now I hope you can find a way of getting through the day xx
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I finally got in touch with the drs surgery, no appointments or phone consultations left that was at 8.50 explained the situation still no joy, put a request in on line, see how long it takes them told them how desperate I am to get help changing my medication as I really need it but scared to take it, it’s horrible I’m just trying to keep calm today as my anxiety is bubbling away in my stomach I can feel it x
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It is just awful that you can’t get an appointment. Hang in there, hopefully the online form will get answered soon.
Here for you xx
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Thanks Becca now I now how people really feel when they are desperate for HG elp and can’t access any, I’m so tired today brain feels a bit foggy, even though I got some sleep about 5/6 hours it’s was broken in two it still wasn’t enough, come round to my dad’s as had to go somewhere just had a coffee so going to try have a nap to see if it helps my head a bit xx
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I am just beyond exhausted today. I slept until 9am, but just want to sleep. Grief really hurts today. I feel so lost without my mom. Going to see my dad just reminds me mom isn’t here. He looks so vulnerable, I just can’t believe all of this happened. 
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Hi Becca, I was sleeping on the sofa this morning. You need to make sure you get all the sleep that your body needs, and more. Can you have a kip at your dad’s? 
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I am lay on the sofa now. It’s all I want to do, but got to think about cooking the dinner. I want to be creative, but I just can’t without my mom. She inspired me so much.
Grief is just so hard. I don’t want to do anything right now.
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I think that some days we just have to let ourselves do nothing when we don’t want to do anything (at least as little as our circumstances allow). I had one of those days yesterday, didn’t even have breakfast. Hugs!
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Just popped back to my dad’s with something. I worry so much about him. He rarely has the heating on and his house is freezing. He sits with a big blanket over him.
I am back home and just sat in the car. Done want to go in the house. I thought I was doing ok a couple of weeks ago. But it’s hitting me hard this week.
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Your allowed to take a break maybe if you say down and discussed who starts doing what just to give you a hand, do you own a slow cooker Becca really ideal if you work even your husband and son would be able to use it x
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I was up early this morning done all the washing went out at about 1 done all ours and my dad’s food shopping kids wanted a day in bed day so that’s where I left them, got back to my dad’s at 4.30 couldn’t stop for a coffee now I’m back home my head is banging x
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Oh no, why does he not put the heating on? That’s essential .
Yes - great idea. Also, an air fryer - my nephews use theirs.