Wow, that’s amazing 
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Mum wants some foxgloves for the garden. She said earlier that the plants have been doing well this year, and I said that they must know how sad we all are and so they’re making a special effort. 
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I am making an area of our garden into a memory garden, just putting nice pink plants and some other pretty things there to help me remember my mom. She loved gardening. I just need to have something to focus on. Some of her ashes are planted with a rose in the garden.
I just miss her so much, I still feel so lost without her.
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My sister done that in her garden like a little niche with a bench she made, when my nephew was killed. Someone bought her a special rose called mum when mum passed away and she scattered some of her ashes there so she has her own special place as she said she couldn’t visit the cemetery, so me, my dad and the girls go the cemetery as that is our tribute to her we put little butterflies etc and made it look nice, now we have done her back garden she made and I replaced the lights she had hung up I’ve just got to jet wash the floor now and put a little table and chairs out there, so the kids can sit out x
It won’t stop growing and I can’t replant it untill it dies off, my sister said it’s heading up to mum, it appeared from nowhere so we think mum must of planted it the year before, because when she died that’s when it appeared xx
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Hello
I can relate to grief being exhausting but recently I decided I wasn’t going to let grief do this to me. The time had come to get control of my life that’s not to say I don’t have my bad days with grief I just didn’t want to live this perpetual circle of grief controlling me. I feel more positive than I’ve ever done.
8 years of grieving has ruined my life. It made me person I am I didn’t like it. I do feel like I’ve got my life back now
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I can relate and although I’m only at the beginning of my journey at 7 1/2 months I’m on that journey of making progress each day and I feel I’m in a better place than what I was months ago, I had 12 weeks of 1:1 bereavement councilling and it was just what I needed I’d never approached my GP for help before but really glad I had, I was in a really dark place now I’m on that road and it’s not as dark anymore I’m almost seeing the old me in the mirror again I’m laughing and smiling more and making plans and hoping as time goes on I can fully live my life as my mum would of wanted me to and yes I still have bad days but it’s allowed I’m only human, when I have those bad days I go sit in my mum’s room and I feel close to her x
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I have tried not to let grief consume me and do some positive things out of my comfort zone. But they have just not ended up as positives and that just made me feel worse.
I am sure with time it will feel better.
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There is no time limit Becca so how ever long it takes for you to adjust then that’s how long it will take just keep putting one foot Infront of the other you know I’m allways here for you and I know I’ve not been on here as much it’s not because I’m in a better place it’s because life has become busier especially at work and I’ve been having my tea or sometimes not and I just fall asleep or I’m in my dad’s doing stuff for him he’s had a lot of appointments lately so my time has been taken over a bit x
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I am so mentally exhausted. I feel like I am living in an alternate reality and feeling anxious as time is going so fast. I just can’t seem to come to terms with what’s happened.
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I don’t think any of us will ever fully come to terms with losing someone we loved, we will just eventually learn to live with them moving on how I look at it now is, my mum is no longer suffering and although I’d love so much for her to be here, I know it was going to happen one day and I’m glad we had her for as long as we did, as she could of been taken 26 years ago when she was first diagnosed so every year was a blessing she taught me so much growing up and I have that to hold on and now when I picture her she’s on holiday sunning herself at her favourite destination and one day in the distant future she will be waiting for me to join her on that holiday xx
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I think stuff has been triggered in me with various other things going on as well. My mom would have made things ok and I feel so alone. It’s feeding my depression and I am fighting to stay up right. I am trying to keep going and putting one foot in front of the other as best as I can.
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It’s just taking one day at a time and dealing with one thing at a time and you will get there eventually Becca any sign of your 1:1 it will make a whole lot of difference I promise you xx
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Not at the moment. Going to chase them again.
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My mother in law had a CT scan on her arm last week after it had been swollen for some time. My husband had to go over this evening when the GP goes to discuss the results. So now all sorts is going through my head and I don’t feel I can cope with any bad news. Maybe I am just overthinking it all or preparing myself for bad news.
Any news? Keeping fingers crossed. 
A swollen arm might not be anything scary, but I understand the worry. Try to breathe, Becca. I’m online now, so I’ll see if you post when you know. 
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Just spoke to my husband. She had thyroid cancer, would need a biopsy and see specialist to work out what type. She is 93 and had said she does not want any invasive treatment.
My heart cannot cope with this 
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Im so sorry to hear that Becca
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I know we have to wait for any test results, but I just can’t cope with this. I am struggling a lot with my mental health right now and deeply grieving my mom. Life just feels 