Grief is so exhausting

Oh, Becca. I’m sorry to hear that. Life is so goddamn merciless and cruel. Try to take it one step at a time here. You don’t know yet what can be done and what her options are, I suppose they have to figure out the specifics first. But I do understand what a blow it must be, in the midst of everything else.


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Sorry to hear this news Becca it’s never easy waiting for results and I used to dread it everytime mum went for scans, it was the results that terrified me the most and I can imagine what my mum was feeling each time, how did your mum in-law take the news or your husband for that matter, I’d wait and see try not to get yourself all stressed she may not need invasive treatment depends what she has xx

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I know I need to not overthink everything but I guess it is bringing up feelings about my mom.

I feel so rubbish today.

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It’s only understandable you feel anxious especially with what you have been through and are going through after, try taking some time out for yourself maybe go for a pamper day with your daughter or listening to some relaxation stuff, Ive been looking into floatation therapy for relaxing my mind and body and I’ve already got some relaxing audios I’m going to try if I can find some I’ll send you them over xx

I find it so hard as my husband is really chilled about it all. He said well it was bound to happen and she is 92. My head just feels all over the place.

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Could it be his way of coping, or that he feels he needs to be the strong one for everyone? Plus its early days hes probably in shock. :heart:

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No, that’s just the way he is. He was like it when his dad died. Just very matter of fact. We’re just different. He told our daughter this evening and she just said oh, she is going to die then. She needs time to process. I am just utterly terrified about it all.

How are you doing, Becca? :heart: Some people seem to be pragmatic like that and I guess it must be easier for them when things happen. Perhaps. I can’t imagine that kind of thinking myself.

I just feel like I am living in another world and why is all this happening.

My husband told our daughter last night and she said oh, so she is going to die then.

They are like oh well she is 92 so she is going to die.

I get that, but I am scared of what is to come. We don’t know details of exactly what’s going on yet. But it is triggering so much about my mom.

I am really really scared about it all.

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Of course you are and of course it triggers memories. It isn’t strange at all!

That might be true, what they say, but it isn’t in any way helpful or makes it better. Do you have your counselling soon, so you can talk about it there?


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I lost my mom in march, im so alone and empty

I have my normal counselling session tomorrow and my bereavement group.

I met with my friend tonight and she hit the nail on the head. I feel angry that it’s overshadowing my grief for my mom and everyone won’t care how I am feeling. I am broken inside.

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I am so sorry to hear this. We are here for you :heart:

How are you doing Becca - how did your bereavement group and counselling go - were you able to talk about whats been happening with your mother in law? :people_hugging:

Im so sorry for your loss @Kazzi. You will find plenty of people on this site who have lost their Mum/Dad and although everyones grief is different, we understand how incredibly painful and isolating it can feel. Do you have any family/friends to support you? :heart:

Hi @Ally6 it went ok yesterday. I talked a lot at my counselling session. Didn’t mention it at my bereavement group. I am exhausted today though. I am going to try and speak to my GP next week as my head is just all over the place.


Didn’t have a very good day in work yesterday was talking to one of our elderly patients who hasnt been well in a while she’s been having chemotherapy I asked her how she was feeling and she said things were not too great she’d been told she has had 6 months or less and started crying I gave her a big hug and told her we are allways she if she needed a talk I felt so sorry for her asked her to take a seat and went in the back to get her meds and was overcome by emotions and got really upset was thinking how my mum must of been feeling when she was told she only had that time left and how scared she must of been feeling but my mum has family around her I don’t think this lady had anyone and all day I couldn’t stop thinking about how I would feel if I was alone with no one, it’s been an emotional week thinking about mum I’ve been having a couple of flashbacks over the course of the week and yesterday was just the icing on the cake, I’ve been awake since 4 am I can just see my mum when I close my eyes reaching out for me to help her and the closer I get to her the further away I am, I miss her so much but I don’t want to get to that dark place I was at I’ve made too much progress to go back there but im not shutting my feelings out either as that’s part of my healing, it’s who i am and it’s what my councillor taught me not to push everything aside because it eventually becomes to heavy to carry x

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its been not quite two months since i lost mum my dark place is coming and closing in on me.

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Hi Lisa you sound like a truly wonderful caring person and you did your mum proud.
Yes the flash backs I see them when I close my eyes I feel them when I clasp my fists together
Mum was six weeks in end of life and I spent every day with her but she didn’t deserve that ending . The tears just won’t stop today .
Thinking of you it’s a blip for us both like everyone says it’s a rollercoaster.