Hi @Bestie18 how are you doing today? X
Hi everyone I cannot believe it’s been nearly a month or it could be longer since I was last on here, I’ve been making sure my days have been busy so I have no time to think, it’s coming up to my mum’s birthday soon in September the first without her, on her last birthday she slept all day and never really knew we were there then the day after was the day she ended up in hospital and never came home I can’t believe it’s been nearly 12 months already this October can’t believe how quickly time has gone since my lovely mum left us I know a lot of us have 1st Anniversaries coming up and it’s going to be tough, but I’m going to mark her birthday with a little finger food at her house with family we will take flowers to her plot in the morning and we will also have a Cake I’m going to celebrate her that day as that’s what she would of wanted us to do, havnt really thought about October as that upsets me that it’s getting closer xx
4 Likes
Hi @Lisa_L51, we went out of a meal when it was my mom’s birthday in April, then we came to our house and put a slide show of pictures . I bought a little cake and we lit a sparkler candle and just had a moment. We also planted a rose in the garden with some of her ashes.
My summer holiday has not be the calm that I needed due to my MIL being in hospital. Visiting her has triggered a lot of stuff. I have been thinking a lot about my mom today as 12 months ago today I had to phone the ambulance and she got taken into hospital. Little did we know that she would never come home 
3 Likes
Good to hear from you, @Lisa_L51. 
Yes, we’re all drawing nearer and nearer to the dreaded time and it’s tough. 
It must be difficult today, @Becca_d, I’m so sorry.
Huge hugs to both of you and everyone else here too. 
2 Likes
I am having to process the fact that my MIL will never walk again after her fall. I mean she is 93, but even so. After 3 weeks in hospital they finally did an MRI to see what the pain was. The cancer has spread to her back and she has bulging discs or something. Finally the palliative care team are involved and she has agreed to go to a nursing home. She isn’t near end of life, but is not having treatment. She has been a nightmare to be honest and it has made me so angry and upset sometimes at how she has behaved.
My dad is having a knee replacement on Tuesday, so I will be moving in with him once he is out of hospital until I go back to work.
I don’t feel like I have had a break
1 Like
Hi Becca
Thank you for asking. Been a hard day, went to cemetery and lit a candle at 9.45 when mom passed away. Bought a broken heart flower arrangement because thats how I feel since losing mom. How are you? x
2 Likes
I cry every night, I miss my mom so much. I am reliving every moment from this time last year leading up to the day she died. I just cry knowing I have to wake up without her every day.
1 Like
Hi Ulma how are you ?
1 Like
So hard isnt it, like carrying a constant heavy weight. I started the day in tears - the time is fast approaching where mums house will be going on the market, and already things are being taken to charity shops - it feels like dismantling her life piece by piece. When people talk about “acceptance” i always thought they meant accepting the finality of your loss and then starting to feel a bit better about it. But im wondering now if its just accepting that i feel this terrible and that its not going to change any time soon. My mum lived with physical pain on a daily basis for many years, along with the pain of losing my Dad at just 64, yet she somehow managed to keep going every day. I wish i knew how she did it
2 Likes
I think you are right it’s the acceptance of this state and the fact that it may not change for some time.
I can’t stop crying today
1 Like
Thanks for asking, Olive. I haven’t been too good lately, everything has just felt pointless. I think Ally is right about acceptance and perhaps also, it feels to me, accepting that we have to be here without them, and I’m far away from that acceptance right now.
Love to all.
2 Likes
I am so sorry @Ally6 , I wish we weren’t going through all of this.
My dad had a knee replacement today, leaving him at the hospital was hard. He is doing really well.
My MIL is end of life, they haven’t officially said it, but it is obvious. My husband had a meeting at the hospital with the social worker tomorrow. It has just been a horrible few weeks and it feels so raw with reliving what happened to my mom.
Sending hugs to you x
1 Like
Hi Becca, its so hard, understand how your feeling. Take each day as it comes, no pressure on yourself. Sending hugs
1 Like
I saw my GP today and talked about it all and the stress I am under. He was really kind.
I had bereavement counselling this evening and then went to pick my dad up from
Hospital. I am staying by at his now until I go back to work. I had a meltdown tonight though as I am so exhausted and just want to be at home.
My MIL is end of life and should be moved to a nursing home in the next couple of days. My head is all over the place.
Hi Becca how are you feeling this morning? I hope your Dads operation went smoothly and that he’ll make a speedy recovery.
Its good that your GP is so supportive- hopefully you are finding the bereavement counselling helpful too?
I know it must be so hard seeing your MIL like this - hopefully if shes in a nursing home they will take good care of her which might take some pressure off the family. Will it be nearby for visiting?
Youve got an awful lot to deal with, so its understandable that your heads going to be all over the place and that there are going to be meltdowns when the pressure gets too much. Try and make sure in the middle of all this that youre taking care of yourself as well as everyone else
Hi @Ally6 , my dad’s operation went really well and he is doing great . He came home last night and I have moved in.
It was so good to see my GP yesterday, talked about a lot of stuff.
My MIL is being moved to a nursing home next Tuesday. I feel so unbelievably exhausted mentally and physically. I need space and I am not going to get it. I go back to work on 2nd Sept as well.
Then next Friday we have the anniversary of my mom’s death. So much going on.
Hi Becca, I know where your coming from when you say your reliving everything. I have to since mom was in hospital last August, so hard not too. Maybe its a process of grieving we go through. Sending hugs
1 Like
@Bestie18 it is all part of the grieving process and our response to trauma. I guess we have to just work through it: I am staying with my dad at the moment while he recovers from his operation and it’s hard as I just feel like my mom should be here looking after him.
This next week is going to be tough as the day approaches. My brother is coming down on Sunday so that I can go home for the day.
Morning Becca, hope your dad is doing okay. Did you mention before the anniversary of your moms passing is Friday. My mom also passed away on a Friday. I don’t work Fridays, was always the day spent with mom going shopping and costa for years. I have my grandaughter this day now which has helped otherwise I don’t know what I would do. Make sure you look after yourself too, Online grieving meditation does help
1 Like