It’s hard, people think we are ok now. But in reality the pain is still the same.
I am finding it harder this year as I go between the reality that my mom died, to how on earth can this be real?
Here for you
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Totally true, some people just think you should be over the loss now. I will never be over losing mom
How is everyone today?
We had a nice chilled day, managed to cook a decent dinner. Thought about my mom every second, we talked about her and laughed. We sat for about 3 hours building a Lego ginger bread house. That helped us to be together and focus on something.
I have lots of presents to open still. But I just don’t want to open them. I do know why though.
I hope that you have all managed to get through today as best as you can. Sending love to you all 
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Its been a very tough day - stayed in bed most of the morning and my brother came over in the afternoon. No christmas dinner, couldnt face it. Now on the gin and the baileys (not together). Missed you so much, Mum 
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How is everyone?
I just had the meltdown that has been brewing for days. Christmas is just not the same without my mom. It never will be, it is just sad and empty. I try my best, I really do.
Now we are approaching new year, another year without my mom. I am 50 in 2025 and she isn’t here to see it, my son will be 25 as well. My husband said she is with you are she made you and I am who I am because of her. But I just want her here with me.
Someone u used to work with posted on FB that her mom died a couple of days ago. It trigger so much, 3 other friends have had their mom’s die in the last few months. It feels like it is all around me.
I am just so tired of trying to survive Christmas.
Hi Becca. Christmas has just been plain awful for me and I wish I could boycott New Year. I try too, but I’m tired of trying. I have no energy for it anymore.
I agree, hearing they are with us isn’t helpful, we want them physically here. I hope your tomorrow will be as ok as is possible right now, with no more meltdowns. 
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I thought I was doing well, but I was just holding it all in. Been to the shops today and all I could think about was how I would get half price Christmas cards for my mom, she would have loved the ones I saw.
Popped to see my dad today, my daughter said to him…”do you get lonely”, broke my heart
I hate that I have to start another year without her.
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I feel like I have lost my joy, I am sad. I wake up everyday knowing my mom is dead. I just want her here, I want to wake up from this nightmare. I am now basically my dad’s carer, I never wanted this to happen and I feel like I have lost the relationship I had with my dad, feel like I am grieving that now as well. I also have a daughter to care for, she is 23 and autistic. She doesn’t have a job yet either so it is 24/7 with her. She is independent to a point.
I am back to work next week after the Christmas break, I just don’t want to go back doing the same old same old. I have changed personally and professionally over the last 18 months.
Cried again today.
Hugs to you Becca, i can relate to that feeling of losing your joy - nothing brings me pleasure any more. 
It sounds like you’ve got a lot to deal with, supporting your Dad and your daughter whilst keeping on top of work as well. Does your Dad get any external support at all? If not, do you think it would be worth speaking to Age UK to see what support your Dad might be able to access? Maybe its no longer realistic to try and do everything yourself, you only have a finite pot of time and energy . Im sure you want to help your Dad as much as you can and that doesnt have to stop, but if you know someone is coming to help with his care /housework/ shopping/whatever he needs, then it might put your mind at rest and give you more time to just enjoy being together
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My dad is stubborn. He won’t have a cleaner, I really need to clean his house. We have no employer a cleaner as I can’t juggle everything. So that costs us money. We aren’t mega rich. He has an appointment on Monday at the hospital, follow up file his hip. This will tell us what the is at.
I just want my mom. I just need her.
I know, we never stop needing our Mums
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So my niece had her baby girl on the 6th of November 12 months to the day of my mum’s funeral she is so adorable my mum would of been besotted with her.
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Congratulations Lisa thats lovely news - I hope mother and baby are both doing well
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Yes they are both doing well thanks x
Congratulations Lisa
This was my 1st Christmas without my mum and dad i lost them both within 8 weeks of each other. I tried my best to keep a smile on my face for my grandchildren but it’s soo exhausting. I miss them both soo much i find myself rewatching old videos and looking at pictures and feel my grief is still as raw as when i lost them both. I hope you have a good support network of family and friends x
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@Larkygirl the first Christmas is the hardest it’s true. You have made it through. This was my second Christmas and while i didn’t feel suffocated with grief, it was empty and sad. I just long for my mom to be here with us. It still doesn’t feel real. Be gentle with yourself.
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We’ve just been away for the weekend which was so lovely. We watched a Panto, met up with old friends and had some quality family time.
Where we were watching the Panto I started to cry. I wanted to share it with my mom. My son’s girlfriend was working on the show backstage & I am so proud of her. My mom would have loved this.
Back home now, we popped to see my dad this evening with some food. He hadn’t seen anyone since last Monday 
breaks my heart. My brother couldn’t even pop over to see him, he only lives 40 mins away. I am trying to not let it get to me. My dad must be so lonely.
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That’s a shame he must get soo lonely with you’re mum gone, my mum never really got the chance to grieve for my dad. It’s good you’re keeping busy, it’s the lityle things like that that breaks my heart, reaching for the phone only to remember she’s not there to call anymore sending love xx
Hi Larkygirl
Was the second Christmas without mom, not the same anymore without her. Feel for you, hard losing one parent and your grieving for two in such a short space between each other. I find it hard looking at photos and videos. Just take each day as it comes, I was told you never get over the loss just learn to live with it. Sending hugs
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