@Braddy2905 I don’t know if she can hear me. I want to believe it. I have faith & I know she is in heaven, but I can’t bear that she isn’t here. I just keep thinking she’d want to be here with us. Even though I know she isn’t suffering anymore. I guess I am scared it will happen to me as the dr’s missed it big time with her. She was diagnosed with metastatic ovarian cancer & we were told this 2 hours before she died. So I am freaked out by it, I am scared that it will happen to me 
I am so tired of it all. I just want to shut myself away and be left alone. I have work tomorrow, just 3 1/2 hours and then I am done for 2 weeks. I don’t want to go in though. I am just so upset with how I have been treated at work, absolutely no compassion whatsoever
Yeah it’s so disgusting how they treated you at the most heartbreaking time of your life … I know what you mean shutting yourself it’s all I want to do and find every excuse possible not to leave the house
The hospital got back to us regards mum being given a paracetamol overdose and what the crap we expected … how sorry they are and we will learn from it. She was given an overdose as they didn’t weigh her
But the letter is patronising it’s like they all close ranks and then I see they are striking for more money . Makes my blood boil
I just want my mum here how she was always going to be this Christmas . X
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@Braddy2905 thar’s awful and surely negligent? How are you supposed to process all of that? I am so sorry. I now have all of my mom’s notes, going to go through them in the ew year and then ask my questions.
Life is never going to be the same again.
What gets me is that the night beige my mom died they would have known she had terminal cancer & they did not get palliative care involved at all. She was on the main ward still dying for all to see. No dignity for my mom and awful for the other patients.
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Yeah of course becca that’s what we have said we have gone back to them regards that … later in the letter they say we will
Learn and make changes to see it doesn’t happen again . It shouldn’t happen full stop your a hospital not a nursery ! It’s disgusting and just causes more heartache for us all
On top we still have to wait until march- April for a cause of death it’s horrible
I am so sorry your mum was left like that and I couldn’t agree more left with no dignity we kept saying the same
What I would to be able to see her and speak
to her again . I don’t think
You ever truely get over losing your mum and ever x
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What a depressingly predictable answer. We will learn from it. 
It shouldn’t happen. Period. And it doesn’t help at all, because the damage is already done and there will be no real consequences. It makes one want to scream and break something. I imagine I will get the same type of reply. Sending huge hugs. 
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It’s disgusting and they think that is acceptable and they absolutely skirted around the fact what it also did to her physically by being in hospital 8 days longer than she would have been thanks to the overdose . They disgust me . It’s like they close ranks and back each other
I hope uma for you and your family it really ain’t the case
It’s just another kick in the teeth when your already at your lowest
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Palliative care are a waste of space we had no support off them what so ever, when my mum was given her prognosis at the end of July they visited her at home because the hospital had asked them too, to see how they could help mum wasn’t dealing with her prognosis and they hadn’t been told so I had to tell them she’d been given 6-12 months basically they turned around and told me they don’t help untill she has 12 weeks left and that’s the last I seen of them, we were left with no support we didn’t even get help from Macmillan nurses my dad didn’t even know my mum’s prognosis how was I supposed to tell him something like that, as time went on she had food days and bad she was in a lot of pain I was running here there and everywhere trying to get her meds sorted trying to get her GP to do a house call no one wanted to know, the district nurses visited as she had a bed sore, they ordered a hospital bed for her, she was given a physiotherapist that visited twice a week but she was just in too much pain she had a fall in August we had just come back from having radiotherapy and she’d been sat in a wheelchair for 8 hours anyway unbeknown to us she had fractured her hip through the cancer site and only the physiotherapist suspected it we wouldn’t of known she spent 10 days in hospital she was out 2 weeks and we discovered she had what we thought was a water infection had to get an ambulance out dr prescribed antibiotics that went on for another 2 weeks she had another fall day after her birthday in September phoned an ambulance who took her in she had sepsis dehydrated kidneys so all the fluids they pumped into her then caused one of her kidneys to swell, we still couldn’t get her pain relief sorted nurses kept telling her she couldn’t have anymore untill i yelled at the Dr one week before my mum died they moved her to palliative care stuck in last eoom at the end of a corridor and basically left to it whilst nurses were down the other end of corridor only time they went in was to turn her in the bed they never helped her have a drink never helped her eat never sat with her even shouting at her when she pressed her buzzer i could of punched the nurse in the face so i have no respect for them palative nurses now as they treated my mum like a nobody.
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I can only echo your sentiment, they disgust me as well. The system is broken and I don’t even want to come near a doctor now.
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That’s awful and how your mum was treated in a place that’s meant to care for you especially in moments like that repulses me
But the same the nurses kept saying mum couldn’t have any pain relief cos of times and she was almost in tears it hurt her that much … in that case the pain relief your giving isn’t strong enough it doesn’t need a nurse to work that out
And several times they spoke down to her and I flipped “ don’t you patronise my mum cos has dementia “ they was talking to her like the was thick !! Don’t the more and more I think it just angers me and upsets me so much
I actually said to them I she would have to have passed for me to bring her back to this dump and we’ll that’s how it turned out
And they match for more money , there is the few that help . Because our parents are old they don’t care … just a number .
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That is horrendous @Lisa_L51 Im so sorry for what you and your Mum went through. When i read some of these accounts it makes me incredibly grateful that Mums care and support was so good, but also guilty that its not the common experience for everyone. 
I have no partner or kids and live in dread of how i will end my days if the health and care system continue like this!
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So true the older they are some nurses don’t care,they would walk in and ask her did she need her medicine my mum could barely talk towards the end and they never fitted the syringe driver until the week before she died that should of been fitted when she was admitted the only consolation was that she wasn’t in pain that last week, it was heartbreaking the way she was treated everyday we had to fight with the nurses to get my mum her pain relief which she was prescribed before she came in she was on fast release liquid when ever she needed it and slow release tablet every 12 hours I found out they hadn’t been giving it to her for nearly a week as they said it wasn’t prescribed and was only giving her paracetamol every 4 hours and basically turned round and said she hasn’t asked for anything else, I put a complaint in about how she was treated to the Dr who was on duty and told the nurses directly what I thought of them not one nurse had read her notes properly to see what medication she was on, the more I think about her treatment the more I’m getting angry about it, that i think im now going through the angry stage of grief.
The only support we had where from carers that came in twice a day 7 days a week for personal care and they were amazing they would even talk to me dad and ask him if he needed any help with anything even though they were not there for him they could see he was struggling looking after mum when we weren’t there.
Lucy it’s uncanny what your saying because
I was getting the same 4 hour crap from
Them as well and my mum was suffering in the end I approached a doctor and they occasionally gave her morphine as well
This silly stuff times you can’t have anything if someone is still in pain they need help
I had so many fall outs there and they threatened me with security one day and I “
Good luck with that “ when she went in to hospital she could walk , go toilet on her own , liked going out ,… yes she had dementia but she was never going to leave me 6 weeks later
When she came out she had lost the ability to walk because they didn’t move her , she had a nappy on and a kaffiter because they couldn’t be arsed to take her toilet and she basically was never the same woman
Yeah I get that anger but at the same time I’m broken for losing my mum I should never have at that time
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Wish they had more than the flipping heart emoji to respond to all your posts i need some 
and 
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I had to quarrel with them for dad to get his painkillers too! I mean what the ? That should be a priority in any ward.
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It’s painful to read your stories, absolutely horrible and similar to mine. It’s been traumatic for all of us, I think, having had to fight so hard and then losing our loved ones in spite of our efforts. Hugs to everyone.
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Yea I echo those words whilst I desperately wish you wasnt going through this pain and heartache and at the same time knowing people understand helps .
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Your right it does help a little knowing we are practically going through the same emotions the same anger, I came across this forum by chance whilst I’m waiting on my counselling and I’m so glad I did as I might not be here now, the fact I’ve been able to just talk without actually speaking has really helped because when I actually have to talk that’s when it kills me and I can’t get my words out so I can say actually say I’m grateful for others on here who have helped me the last few weeks
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How is everyone today? Christmas is creeping in much too close for comfort…
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