I just can’t believe my mom won’t be here for Christmas Day. She loved Christmas and made it special. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I want this to just be a bad dream 
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Evening all
I am really struggling right now I have been since mum passed but the last few days have brought it all back like it was yesterday . I’m shattered physically and emotionally and my heart must break twenty times a day
I can’t cope and I don’t want tomorrow to come around one bit … to not have either of my parents to show Xmas day with is so upsetting . To have not brought her a present or to not see her at the table tomorrow destroys me x
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Im standing here trying to find the right words of comfort, but there are none are there? This will be my first Christmas too without both parents - i lit a candle 7pm in their memory and then just sobbed on the carpet. Thinking of all of you out there x 
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@Braddy2905 i am so sorry. I don’t have the words really as I feel the same. It’s just unbearable, I feel for you, thinking of you. We’re here for each other and we’ll help each other get through the day.
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I’m with you both, Ally and Braddy, first Christmas without either of my parents too and I can barely breathe for how wrong it feels. This is unbearable, like breaking into a million pieces and finding only half of them and those you do find don’t even make sense. Love to everyone hurting. 
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It’s just a relentless feeling of pain in the bottom of my stomach . I feel sick and I’m wondering so much of what Xmas day would be like in heaven for them as much as breaks my heart I want them to be pain free and happy as possible if that makes any sense
My heart goes out to everyone on here suffering the same heartache it really does but like becca said we will help each other through tomorrow and beyond . I’ve gone again my eyes are full of tears I can’t bear not seeing her . It’s so hard to see all the happiness around you and I don’t blame anyone for that it’s just hard when I don’t have any of that x
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I feel the same, keep thinking what it’s like in heaven for my mom. My heart is breaking and my husband and kids seem to have no concept of how I feel. I have pretty much got ready for Christmas single handed no help what so ever and now my son is moaning at me because he has lost one of his girlfriends presents that I should have wrapped up. Does he not think I have enough to do.
I feel like walking out and going to live with my Dad. I hate being in the house with my family as they just don’t care.
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I can’t stop crying. The reality is too much. My mom should be here, just own more Christmas. What I want I can’t have. I need to hold her, to just feel her love. She was such a beautiful soul, the best mom you could ask for. Absolute unconditional love. I am broken.
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Hello
I am so sorry for your loss.
I know it really takes it out of you, doesn’t it? My mum passed in February and I often struggle with sleeping as well as feeling exhausted with grief.
I can only speak of my experience of when my dad passed. It took a while to get into a normal kind of routine. I know this might not be much help, but I hope it gives you some comfort that at some stage it will pass.
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Aww becca I feel your pain I really do and I’m sure mum was a lovely person and very proud of you
But yes I have that feeling . My mum had a heart of gold and wouldn’t hurt or upset anyone … I keep going over her telling me she was frightened of dying and she didn’t want to and I promised her we would be together forever . If only that was true … he’s she will in my head and my heart but not to hold , touch and be with .
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I have been heartbroken today having to prepare for Christmas day something me and mum would of done together I’ve had to do by myself, I took my dad to the crem we laid some flowers and said merry Christmas to her, it’s going to be really hard tomorrow not having her sat at the head of our table I’m lying here by myself on the sofa sobbing I don’t want tomorrow to come I want my mum I’m missing her so much I just need here here with me, I want tomorrow to come and go but I need to get through tomorrow for my girls they’re still only young and never asked for any of this I just wish I wasn’t feeling like this.
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So so sorry Lucy … I’m sure you have done you best by your girls I haven’t had that extra worry at this time , although I have a daughter she lives with her mum and as been understanding and supportive
It’s beyond words the idea of my not being any of my parents on Xmas day for the first time ever
I feel every inch of your pain and I pray somehow you get through tomorrow x
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Hi,
Just want you all to know I have read your posts and share your pain. I have tried to do everything for my family but today has been tough as my mum did so much for us at Xmas and I miss her so much It’s my first Xmas without her too. That’s all I can suggest is tom keep posting and keep replying and supporting each other. Knowing there is someone here on this site helps do much.
Deborah x
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I just hope that we all get through tomorrow the best we can our mum’s and dad’s would be proud of us, in less than 24 hours the day will be over for another year then we we gave the pain staking tash of rebuilding our lives the way they would want us too it’s going to be a tough road ahead but if we keep sharing our thoughts and help each other then we can do this together xx All Take care
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Lucy I totally agree. No one can do this alone. Talking /messaging helps and any support anyone can get then grab it. It’s a hell of a thing to go through and I feel I am fighting for my life and sanity most of the time.
Together is the perfect word. Keep posting and supporting everyone even if it’s just a few words. Those words may help someone so much
Thinking of you all
Deborah x
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So true what you have nothing just said and I say it again and again I so wish none of you was sharing this heartache and pain . But you are all a massive help you really are . As much as my mates are there for me they don’t truely get it bar one that’s lost his mum
Thinking of you all as this amazingly sad sad time x
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Hello
thank you so much for asking. I have been struggling today. It is my first Christmas without my lovely mum who died in February. I just feel numb and in disbelief that mum is not here. She loved Christmas in her later years. When she was a child she was one of 8 so unfortunately did not have much in the way of presents. So many people loved her and she would get many presents from family, friends and neighbours. It was lovely to see how excited she was and was always up and asking if we can open presents.
I really feel for us all, as it so hard to face a Christmas without loved ones. All the lovely family times we have all spent with loved ones. It is so hard to continue these occasions without them.
I spoke to a cousin earlier, as I could here my mum in my head telling me to call him. Sadly he lost his mum and wife 3 years ago in the space of 4 months. We also lost another aunt. Sadly there has been around 10 passing’s of family members. It all feels so heavy and never ending with the loss.
I hope you all get through the day as best you can. I keep telling myself to try and treat this as another day, one day. I can only speak from the previous loss of my Dad 24 years ago! As the years go by we somehow learn how to live with our loss. I hope this helps some of you.
Sending love & hugs
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Aww Shelley,
You have written such heartbreaking words that I can relate to
Thank you for sharing how you feel bec it makes us realise we are not the only ones thinking like this.
Try to get through Christmas day the best you can and post when you can.
We just to support each other even more tom
Deborah x
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My eyes are sore and I feel sick to my bones from all the crying last night.
My dad is due round soon and I have no idea how we are going to be.
Today feels empty. Sending love to everyone today.
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Aw bless you, it is so hard. Just be however you feel. It is hard to keep the grief in so be how you need to be.
I am treating today like an ordinary day although i know it is Christmas.
Sending love and hugs to you and everyone xx
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