Well, my dad was very gregarious and would go to all the functions, and would take us to all the after school clubs. But mum wouldn’t always go. So, apparently my sister never got over the shame of some ‘people’ 
asking whether our parents were divorced, because they would see my mum but not my dad. I mean, I’m younger than my sister, so maybe mum was just looking after me, and/or our older brother…?
She’s not right in the head.
What an odd way of looking at it. If it was because of shyness, that’s not your mum’s fault and the logical thing would be to feel sorry that shyness kept her from going. But maybe it was because of different reasons too, as you say, or simply that she didn’t enjoy it.
Ok! I wish we could control our dreams better, I have bad ones too and sometimes dread sleeping in case there’s another one.
Could you ask him? Or maybe that would be awkward. Just so you would know and not torment yourself with thoughts about it.
My sister disowned me at the hospital told me my attitude was horrible that I took all mum’s time up that she never had time for her, I’ll never forget how she treated me that day how she blamed me for everything she couldn’t deal with the fact I was closer to mum than her that was her choice not mine I think she was jealous of our relationship to be honest mum treated us all the same growing up, she forgets I am 10 years younger than her so of course mum looked after me growing up it was different in them days mum had several jobs 2 failed marriages behind he she did her best for all of us she just sees things different to me growing up I had a good childhood and I repaid as I got older by looking after my parents and doing whatever I could for them and now mums gone and I’m keeping an eye on my dad, who by the way is our stepdad but hes always treated me like his daughter I’ll be there for him because if im not no one else will be x we are on talking terms and she never apologised as she is the one with the attitude problem mum always said she did, but i won’t forget ever x
That’s right, Ulma. It’s not fair that she should hold against my mum something that she doesn’t have any say over. Basically, my sister is also shy, and she hates that about herself, so hates it in other people as well. You know, the way that bullies think.
Lucy51, that’s terrible of her, bringing extra drama to the hospital 
It does sound like your sister is jealous. That’s such a shame - I’m sure that there were plenty of opportunities for her to build up a good relationship with your mum, over the years.
My mum also treated us all the same, growing up. But I treasure my parents, whereas my sister just has a list of complaints. And that might just bite her on the bum, if any of my sister’s children end up resenting her.
It’s a shame your sister felt that way she should of encouraged your mum, my mum was quite a shy person really especially amongst strangers she would always stay quiet she would go to social gatherings but barely spoke to anyone so when I wanted to mingle she would get annoyed at me not my brother or sister but me because I wouldn’t sit with her all night which wasn’t fair on me really but I’d pacify her and sit with her but that’s just who she was because she had been brought up that way.
Yeah she just flipped one day and took it out on me, but think she forgets what I actually done for mum as I lived closer if mum rang I’d be there if mum needed anything I was there regardless she never rang them it was always me I always felt I owed her for looking after my girls when I couldn’t she never saw it that way she saw it as being a nan and that’s what nans do, maybe my sister felt guilty in a way I’ll never know why she flipped that day and she’ll never apologize for it so I’ll just leave it at that. But I promised myself I’d never let her speak to me like that again x
Been out most of the day so just catching up with your messages. Sounds like you are having some challenges with siblings. Sometimes these situations can bring. The best or worst out in people. It’s sad when your siblings are being so hurtful at a time when you need them.
I am lucky that me and my brother get on really well. Hope you all manage to get some sleep tonight’s
You too! I still haven’t found a way to stop waking up several times during the night and I hate that as it’s when the horrible memories return.
@Ulma i know the managing to stay asleep is awful, I’m just in month 4 of my mum passing and I hate the broken sleep, it just makes everything feel so much worse.I’ve found that some nights recently have been better then it changes again just when I think I’ve cracked it….i have found that listening to https://youtu.be/VINp_H50g9M?si=_QtC_CJ7nfP0-AVP
Helps or search sleep meditations on YouTube. (I also use the calm app. You can try it free for 7 days)
Even if you still wake up sometimes you might be able to relax instead of having the horrible memories take over your thoughts
Good advice, thank you! I’ll give it a try. Yes, some nights are better than others, but you never know which it will be beforehand.
I find I don’t want to go to sleep as I have to wake up to this nightmare the next day. Sometimes I get scared that I won’t wake up. That is totally irrational I know.
I have sleep apnea so have to sleep with a cop machine & mask. I hate it, but such is my life.
Yeah mines a challenge but hey ho my sister has her own conscience and if she feels any guilt at all it’s only her own doing I’m trying not to dwell what went on at the hospital I know I’ve allways done my best to help mum with whatever she need me to do and I’m proud me and her had that bond my one nightmare was that one day I would lose her as one one can live for ever and whether she died of the cancer or old age I would of lost her either way I’m just grateful she got to see me have children and be a major part in their lives that’s something I will allways be grateful for that she helped me when I needed it and all the bad times don’t matter anymore I’m thankful for everything she taught me for everything she taught my girls and they will always have their own memories of her something my sister will never be able to take from us x
Exactly. I have always loved my parents wholeheartedly, and am eternally grateful that I am their daughter. Whatever their other daughter gets up to is out of my control.
I’ve just got back from spending the day with my cousin. We never used to get on but the events of the last 3 years & my mom dying have bought us closer. Her mom died in April 2020, she got taken into hospital with Covid on the day we got put into lockdown, but the Friday she was on a ventilator and 3 weeks later she died. I cannot comprehend how traumatic it must have been for my cousins. Then 6 months later their dad died of cancer. My aunt and uncle were a huge part of my life growing up and it was so hard as they live 2 hours away so we couldn’t grieve together or go to the funerals. My father in law then died in Oct 2020 5 weeks after finding out he had terminal cancer. My Nan had died in Oct 2019 as well, she was 93 and basically just died of old age. But it rocked my world. Then last year 2 work colleagues died of cancer 3 months apart and now my mom died 4 months ago today.
I have had so much grief and I live in fear of someone else dying. I get scared that it will happen to me because it got kissed with my mom.
I have had a lovely time with my cousin, I don’t have a huge family so trying to connect with the family I have.
I feel sad that you are all having issues with family.
I think some of my posts might be easily identified by family members, so I might delete a few, just in case.
Can you delete posts? I haven’t seen an option for that.
I had to flag it and ask the admin to remove it, which they did promptly 