Morning is the worst time for me. I get a burst of panic every time I get up, like it hits me all over again how empty the future seems. It’s hard to pull my mind back to just one hour, just one minute.
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I find bed time the hardest, knowing I have to wake up to it all again tomorrow.
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Ah! I’m not the only one, then. I’ve been feeling anxious when I wake up, over the past few days.
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I think it’s because I forget for a moment while sleeping and then in the morning light, when I wake up completely, I suddenly realise. 
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Popped to see my dad this evening. We talked about mom and we cried. It’s just so sad 
my dad gets lonely. I do my best for him. My brother is actually coming over tomorrow. I am not seeing him as I have stuff on, but I am glad he is coming over.
My dad gave me a box with butterflies on for me to put the sympathy cards in that I got for mom & some other bits and bobs. That started us off. We can’t face going through her stuff or even thinking about scattering her ashes.
Life will never be the same again 
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Yeah I got a small wooden box to put bits and bobs in, sympathy cards, the order of service card,her glasses, phone(wouldn’t seem right using it) funeral certificate etc. I made a little memorial on the cupboard where my dad sits in the front living room has the box her photos, some of her ashes, her lock of hair etc, it might sound morbid to some people but to him and me it’s a comfort knowing she’s near by x
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Something I’ve learned at least is that you shouldn’t care one bit about what others think is strange or morbid or whatever. You need to do the things that you feel is right to do for you at this time. 
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I have done things I never thought I would since my mom died. Like getting her ashes in a pendant & my bracelet with her writing. I have her mobile phone too and I scroll through it. I always thought that I wouldn’t be bothered by these things. But I have learned so much about myself, I crave anything that reminds me of my mom or that was hers, I just long for those connections.
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Yep. That makes sense. 
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So true. Put yourself first and don’t worry about what other people think
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People have so many opinions on how you should act and what you should do, but it isn’t them who have to live with the pain.
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Hi Ulma,
Totally agree with you.
After my mum passed away I had so many people asking me and saying inappropriate things that I had enough and cut them out of my life.Not family members but people i knew. It was so liberating and a year on and I font regret it. I feel when you are going through this awful grief you have to protect yourself. I wasn’t going to allow anyone to hurt me more than I was hurting so I had to block them and vet my phone calls. It’s not a time to put up with people who make heartless comments or tell you how you should be grieving.
It was the best thing I ever did.
I have found wonderful friends on this site who truly understand and have been there for me every day.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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I did exactly the same lucy she loved this welsh dresser and without thinking it became this fantastic memorial to her photos angels trinket box and even her ashes pride of place and it isnt over the top people think is a lovely reminder of her life and thats the way I’ll keep it.
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How is everyone today? I’m irritated, because I found out my friend has been talking to someone else I know about stuff I personally haven’t shared with this person (and wouldn’t). I don’t like that at all.
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I just feel so tired today, feel tired everyday. We are going to a party tonight. Not sure how long I will last.
Sorry about this friend talking about stuff, that isn’t nice. Can you talk to them about it?
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What kind of party is it? Surely people will understand if it gets too much after a while. Or maybe you can sneak off and get some privacy in some other room?
I guess I’ll have to, it just makes me sad that I have to and that my friend did it without thinking.
It’s a friends 50th. We’ll just go and see how it goes. They will be fine if we leave early.
It’s sad when friends let you down. I have been let down by people who I thought were my friends. It’s so hard to understand and to come to terms with.
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Good. It takes some of the stress off knowing you can leave early if you want to!
Yes. 
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Oh no, that’s annoying. A lot of people (myself included, at times) just can’t help sharing tidbits of information. I’ve definitely been in the situation a number of times when my BFF has shared info about me ahead of being given permission to do so.
I’ve got a chest infection 
. So I’m alternating long sleeps with short walks in the crisp, cool sunshine.
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Yes, I’ve probably done it too at some point. It hurt more because it’s stuff to do with my situation now after losing dad, stuff that should have been too personal to share.
Oh, poor you. Hope you feel better soon.
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