I spoke to my GP was referring me to counselling signed me off work 4 weeks ago gave me a week of sleeping tablets and asked me do I think I would harm myself didn’t want to give me anything for depression or anxiety and havnt heard nothing since. So would they of helped if I’d said I didn’t want to be here anymore would I be getting help right now as feel as though I’ve had no support from them, do I actually have to do something stupid before they help me
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Hiya Lucy … I’m experiencing all the same
Feelings and heartache as you from what I can gather and I to feel like I don’t want to be here any more I really don’t . I think the only thing stopping me is my mum would be disgusted if I did something so silly , but I hurt that much it seems the only way . My doctor did ask me if I was suicidal and offered me help . I think from all the posts on here we are all suffering deep sadness , heartache and grieving . I’m totally absolutely heartbroken I really am x
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My mum would be so disgusted with me that I had done something like that to her grandchildren she didn’t believe in depression she said it was something you should just get on with, she’d probably think I was weak, didn’t allways agree with what she thought but she was my mum and if only she new what this was doing to me now I need help.
Lucy, I know what you mean. My mom didn’t really understand depression. I was to sacred to tell her a few years ago that I was suffering. Depression is ver real and hard. I live with it everyday and losing my mom has tipped me over the edge. I have had my medications increased. Could you talk to a different GP? You could write down exactly how you feel as it is sometimes hard to say.
If it helps, my niece was 9 when we lost my mum, and 13 when her own mum died, we thought she wouldn’t cope but has been amazing and gone on to uni, i think kids can be more reliant than adults!
I know it’s real, I had the blues on and off for years but allways dealt with it, but not this time it’s hit me long and hard feel like I’m in this black hole that I’m trying to dig myself out of but the more I try the darker it becomes Just can’t face the days ahead but have to as other people are relying on me especially my dad who’s 91.
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I understand. It’s awful, it’s pure torture and it takes so much from us, leaving us in the dark. I hope you hear something about the grief counselling soon, it’s good to be able to talk to someone face to face too. Maybe your church has someone to talk to about grief? You don’t usually have to be religious for that.
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Absolutely broken me today . That’s a lie everyday . And I’m expecting a reply soon from the inquest into mums passing . I’m dreading it because if they feed me crap I know how i will react
I still every morning day and night break my heart I won’t ever see her beautiful face or hear her voice again
I love her unconditionally and I don’t know if she knew that x
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Hi @Braddy2905 I’m kind of in the same boat. I’m waiting on the hospital response from an investigation they’re doing on my mum’s poor care there. It’s awful waiting. I know how you feel. I also worry that my mum didn’t know how much I loved her and how amazing and special I thought she was. I said some of this at the end but I don’t know how much got through to her. I worry she didn’t know enough. I’m sorry your heart is broken too, it’s so hard x
reading your post brings back more painful memories for me. my mum passed away 7 weeks ago from adult respiratory distress or in plain words inability to breathe. she was admitted on a saturday and the docs told me they would make her feel alot better. when i came back next morning on sunday my mum was tied down and she called me ‘mister’. she was in delirium. i asked and the morning shirt nurse told me the previous night nurse gave my mother morphine for pain… what pain? i saw her left arm and it was bruised and inflamed. they told me my mother was trying to get off the bed and go home. so the doc told the night nurse to give my mum morphine. i later found out morphine is an effective sedative but for an elderly it can lower blood pressure and induce delirium. 12 hrs after the injection my mum started to come around. she recognized my face again. but her blood pressure started to go downhill. last reading was 75/48. it was 130/70 the night before. the doc sent my mum to the ccu at this point. 3 days later on a wednesday night my mother passed away while i was holding her hand. at that point she could no longer breathe on her own and had two separate breathing contraptions aid her breathing. her delirium had passed since sunday and though she could not speak due to lack of strength from not getting enough oxygen she could still understand me and nod. i told her i loved her; that i was thankful she raised me; that if there was an afterlife i would search for her. she nodded each time. minutes later she opened her eyes and i looked to see if she wanted something. instead she looked right past me and her eyes slowly rolled back up and her eyes closed for the last time. i immediately placed my hand on her heart and felt two final heartbeats and it stopped. i can’t get it out of my head. it’s been 7 weeks and i still have flashbacks of that scene. she died quietly and peacefully but it will haunt me until i die myself. i find myself thinking if i made a mistake taking her to the hospital that saturday morning…
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I so feel for you and this is heartbreaking but was is going on so many people with stories of the hospital . My mum was taken in with a water infection and we was expecting her home in days , that was until they gave her a paracetamol overdose and she was in much longer than expected . At first we wasn’t told this and it was “ old people get Ill “ then it come to light . They apologised but we was told to expect the worse but she pulled through . Obviously we complained and have lodged that hence the investigation and we have said regardless what your findings are medically physically and mentally they broke my mum she was half the woman when she come out . And the way they use to speak
To her because they knew she has dementia . I had many fall outs with them . I don’t care what findings are found but they contributed to her death and as a family we won’t stop until we have the right answers for her and justice
I’m absolutely heartbroken
So sorry again for your losses xx
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It seems to me they discount our loved ones just because they are older and that makes me so incredibly angry. Their lives mattered too. I also quarrelled with them at the hospital time and again. It’s awful that we have to cope with those memories as well and our grief.
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It disgusts me . And I don’t wanna hear about what they are paid blah. You’ve got a job do it to the best of your abilities especially as a care worker . They failed my mum big time and they won’t get me clapping the nhs . I ain’t leaving this and I’ve still got to wait until match potentially to find a cause of death . They have let my mum down x
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I am still trying to get my mom’s medical records from her GP. I first asked for them on 25th Sept, then about 3 weeks later they told me I had sent the wrong forms! I have now been waiting since 23rd Nov and have chased again. They failed her in every way.
I am sobbing, I just want my mom. I can’t bear to see the empty chair that there will be on Christmas Day. And as for work they are not being supportive at all & I am ok reduced hours again. What don’t they get about grief? It’s not the same for everyone and when you have a traumatic experience it makes it all so different.
Sending love to you all
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No one should ever give you a time on grief ! It’s so disrespectful it really is . I like you keep looking at mums chair and clothes it absolutely crumbles me every time
I just want my mum I know that sounds strange for a 47 year old man but she was my world and I love her so much x
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Nothing strange about wanting your mum,no matter what age. When we lose them it’s shattering.
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Nothing wrong with wanting your mom at 47. I am 48 and I need my mom to be here. I need to hear her voice and smell her perfume. She was my everything and I feel robbed. My kids have been robbed of their Nan, my dad his wife of 52 years. It breaks my heart 
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Hi Peter,
Reading your post brought back memories for me I also phoned an ambulance for my mum and within a few hrs was told death was imminent due to a blockage in her small intestine and too old to operate etc. it haunts me to think if I hadn’t taken her into hosp would she still be here.
I cannot forgive myself for taking her to the hospital and even though people tell me I did what I thought was best at the time it still doesn’t help.
I am so sorry about your loss
Deborah
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There are some truly compassionate nurses and doctors out there but some just like it, their attitudes are horrendous as i saw for myself they forget about the elderly still being someone’s mum, nan, sister they forget they still want their dignity and to be treated like everyone else my mum needed support and she never go it, she couldn’t hold a cup to drink water they would just put a jug Infront of her and then say you have to drink, she wouldn’t press her button as she didn’t want to bother them then when she actually did was told off, when we found out what a nurse had said to her for pressing her button I near ripped the nurses head off, they would come in and roll her, change bed etc and leave her button out of reach had to shout every dad till they heard me.
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hi deborah, thank you for the kind words. i have to remind myself whenever i blame myself for her demise that she was extremely weak and not herself when i took her to the hospital that morning. i have to tell myself that she held on as long as she could to keep me company and live, but it was her time in my opinion. for two months prior, she could no longer eat by herself and her appetite shrunk by more than half her normal intake. she no longer had the strength nor the energy to go to the lavatory by herself. she was sleeping almost 18 hours a day. i have to remind myself all these facts to come to the realization that she was dying of old age. she was 89, only 43 days past her last birthday.
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