I am having some do the funeral flowers preserved. I need to see what’s happening with them. I hope that they turn out ok.
My mom loved flowers.
Yeah I don’t have green fingers like she did she was allways planting it looked amazing in the summer and I feel so guilty about letting it all die but I just didn’t have the time to do it and no one else offered she’s probably cursing me for not looking after it, but I couldn’t physically do it, she was the one who new all about flowers and plants I don’t know anything.
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My mom was the same, she lived her garden and planting flowers. We are going to get a rose plant each and put some of her ashes in the soil. Then we can grow a beautiful rose and be near my mom.
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Aww that’s lovely then everytime it’s in bloom you will think of her. I’m just going to wait for spring to come now before I look at what’s what give it a tide up and see what I can do with it.
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Youll probably have a lovely surprise what comes up, nature’s very good at looking after itself. When i was here caring for mum doing the garden was my one respite, and as her bedroom backed onto the conservatory mum could sit in bed and see what i was doing. It was lovely being able to bring her in a bunch of sweet peas to smell, or show her the raspberries id picked, i think it helped her feel involved and not just shut away 
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My head has felt strangely quiet today so to speak. I have felt tired all day though. It feels strange to not have the chaos going on in my head.
I hope I sleep tonight. I have to be at work for 8.30 tomorrow, don’t finish until 3.45! I haven’t worked my full hours since the end of June last year. So this week is going to be intense.
Maybe I feel numb to it all and just blocking it out. I almost feel guilty for having a calm day.
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Dont feel guilty - we get so used to feeling lousy its easy to forget that there is any other way to be! Good luck for tomorrow, and fingers crossed for a good nights sleep 
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Thank you. All I can do is my best & take it from there.
I feel like I have had a day off from it all. We went to some friends for lunch and then went to church.
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Good luck Becca 
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I’m just glad the last time my mum saw her garden it was still in bloom I’m just sorry I let her down by not looking after it.
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Good luck tomorrow @Becca_d try to have a good night’s sleep, just try keep calm tomorrow and take time out if you need a breather xx
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It’s a training day so we have some pointless training sessions and then need to catch up with admin and plan my week. Going to be a long day though.
Will definitely take time out when I need it though. I feel like I have to be back to normal at work and not let grief take over as they don’t understand.
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Good night all .
I hope you all manage to get a good nights sleep
I do find this page a massive help during this hard time because I can’t talk like this to anyone else x
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I’m sorry but you can’t just switch off grief it doesn’t work like that and they are just going to have to support you better at work I hope your day goes smoothly tomorrow and they don’t put too much pressure on you xx
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Goodnight @Braddy2905 I hope you get a good night’s sleep for some reason I’m wide awake so looks like it’s going to be a long night for me and I’m up early I’m morning to sort kids they are back at school tomorrow x
Good luck!
Good night to you too. 
Hope you’ll be able to get some decent rest!
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I returned to work this morning for the first time since mum and some twat that works in a different department came up to me and goes “ fuck me you could be bothered to come back then “ I lost it and went for him and had to be pulled back . I’ve walked out and I’m on my way home with tears in my eyes in the car . I don’t know if it tells me I ain’t ready but I feel I should be 
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Omg, I’m so sorry you have had to face someone so insensitive as that I’d of done exactly the same thing it’s no wonder you lost it, I know it’s a stupid question but I hope your going to be ok x
feeling so tired this morning I didn’t get any sleep when I finally did shut my eyes it was 6am this morning, normally I’d drop off at 8 then wake about 1.30am but not last night I just couldn’t shut my eyes, I hope the person who said that to you realises how much they have set you back, can’t understand why people have to make sarcastic comments to others knowing what they are going through x