Yes I agree but it didn’t make me feel any better because all the do is apologise for your loss and make excuses they will not admit they are in the wrong just wish I had the money to take it further
No win, no fee?
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How’s work gone today becca ? Hopefully not too bad a day . Mine went a lot better than yday obviously but just felt so weird being back and so different thoughts and emotions throughout the day . At times it just felt wrong doing something normal like working without mum being alive . It’s hard to put into words x
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Hi @Braddy2905 it went ok. I was at the nice school. It does feel strange to just be normal. I feel pretty tired though. Fell asleep about 5.30! It’s like I am living in a different world right now, like nothing has changed.
I am so glad your day went better. That must make you feel a little better day.
I am at my other school tomorrow & have a meeting with the head teacher. I know I need to change my role a bit as I just can’t sit and talk to kids non stop all day advising them on the life choices.
I feel very odd, like the last 2 weeks I have been in a dark place and now I am ‘ok’ like I have just parked all the feelings. I don’t get it.
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Had a call today from bereavement services finally got my one to one councillor starts on Tuesday once a week for 6 weeks I’ve waited just under 10 miserable weeks to see someone, I’m just so glad I found yous or I would never have got through those weeks without support, the system needs to change, support needs to be given straight away by a trained counsellor for bereaved people who desperately need it not make them wait to be seen hoping that you don’t harm yourself in the meantime, anyway I start next week, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to give up here, I still need this, I still need to talk here sometimes you can’t always get out what you want to say unless you write it down x
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Lucy51, I’m so glad they’ve made contact with you. It is far too long to wait but I hope you find it helpful, even at this late stage. Totally agree with you, this forum sustains us during the worst time of our lives.
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I’m glad you had better day returning to work today. It is strange and you do feel strange doing normal things, but when we start to go back to work and get a bit of a routine to try an help just remember that our loved ones will want us to try and do what we can as we always did. Work will take time to navigate. I allow myself to have the space, a little breather, but keep chipping away a little bit at a time. Each day one at a time
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Becca I totally get you I really do
Firstly I get the tiredness and I wish you well for tomorrow let’s hope they get it
But I’m with in terms of starting to get that “ feeling ok “ feeling and it doesn’t feel right
I know grief eases but I am far from that stage yet it’s starting to feel normal the loss and mum not being here and I don’t want that normal feeling x
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Awww Lucy I’m really pleased they’ve made contact with you 
It’s troubling that it can take so long but you have someone now, that’s the main thing. Deep breathe and begin your journey
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I am so glad you have finally got your counselling. It is so bad that bereaved people have to wait so long. I am glad We are. This group, it helps a lot. I pay for counselling but can’t afford it every week. You help me on those dark days.
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Yes, I get the starting to feel normal. But I know when I see my dad the feelings will flood in. I think I am blocking them out a bit at the moment because it is too painful to think about it.
I am prepared kind of for my meeting. I will be complaining about my line manager as well who gives me zero support and I may as well not have one. He annoyed me again thanking the head of year 11 for tutor resources. I made the resources. He irritates me and we do not work well together because he has let me down badly.
I don’t know how I am going to feel at work tomorrow. So just got to go with it.
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Thanks everyone yes I’m pleased they finally got in touch better late than never I suppose, but it’s the people on her that have supported me from the beginning especially the darkest days when I didn’t want to be here I’m so grateful to everyone for saving me xx
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Glad youre finally getting access to counselling Lisa, thats the same day my first bereavement support group starts so it will be interesting to see how they both approach stuff.
Becca i also experience that strangeness of feeling “ok” - im guessing its our heads starting to adjust to the new normal, but it doesnt feel 100% right. I sometimes visualuse it like someone adjusting after an injury/surgery - there is always a scar there so “normal” never feels exactly like it did before. Good luck for your meeting tomorrow.
Im glad you had a better day at work Braddy - did that person come and apologise or are you steering clear of them? I noticed on Cruses website they actually offer “grief first aid” training for employers so that there could be designated employees to support someone returning to work after bereavement- what a great idea!
Im at my own home tonight for the first time in over a year. Im trying not to think about it, i feel like ive been putting it off as its another massive hurdle for me and im scared of facing that intense grief again. I put mums coat on the car passenger seat as i drove here, so i could feel i was bringing her with me. Its sad, ive had this house 10 years but i still only think of it as “my house” never as “home”. Home has always been where mum was.
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Good luck tonight, Ally.
I haven’t stayed overnight at my house since my dad went into hospital (2 months ago). Instead, I’m staying with my mum at my childhood home. I’m not relishing going back, either.
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I hope it goes well, Ally. If it feels overwhelming, let us know and surely one or more of us will be here to support you. 
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Fingers crossed for the meeting, Becca!
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Good luck tonight Ally I hope you don’t get to anxious being there and you can settle and get some sleep, I’m feeling quite exhausted today had another night with not much sleep so it’s beginning to catch up on me my eyes feel so heavy and sore.
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I hope everyone is able to get some sleep tonight.
I am tired and grumpy. Had to go to a church trustee meeting tonight. I am a trustee & my husband is the chair. I have to do the minutes. It was such hard work.
My daughter is really stressing at the moment as she has an interview on Thursday. She had had so many rejections. She needs someone to believe in her. This would really help her a lot and me!
Hopefully I will sleep tonight. Stressed about going to work tomorrow.
Take care everyone x
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Hi All, how are you?
I felt so sick coming into work today. But I have had my meeting and it went well. I got my point across, but they had actually come up with a plan this time! The head teacher will now be my line manager, which means I will get support for my well being as well.
I feel exhausted but in a slightly better head space at the moment & can think rationally.
Can’t wait to finish today, tomorrow is also my day off.
Sending lots of love to you all
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Thats great Becca, glad they had actually given it some thought and that you were able to get your point across. Are they going to get any careers advisory support?
My back and neck are definitely feeling the effects of sleeping in a different bed last night, and i could feel my heart rate was elevated but there were no tears. I think my brain reverted back to when i last slept here 14 months ago and assumed mum was safe back at her bungalow. I didnt force it to face the reality!
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