Grief places many demands on us that are often conflicting and only those who have actually experienced real grief can understand that, but life requires that to live.
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Braddy, that, is horrendous treatment and is bang out of order and so wrong and if that is not verbal harassment I don’t know what is and you should report this miserable sod to the police, hopefully he will be removed in handcuffs and you will never have to face him again, he should be sacked for gross misconduct!!.
I hope you slept ok. I had a weird night again. Feel very tired.
I am off to counselling in a bit, but have come to my local coffee shop for breakfast. I do this every Thursday. Just 30 mins of me time.
Take care today.
That is totally it! I am glad I am not alone in feeling this.
Feeling tired with it all today.
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Going through my mom’s notes makes me angry and sad. She deserved so much better than how she was treated by the NHS. There were so many red flags that should have been investigated.
My mom was so very very poorly and they just let her suffer.
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Palliative care are useless to be honest, my mum had been on a ward in a private room for 4 weeks with nurses station outside her room nurse always sat we then got told mum was being moved to palliative care as they could provide the care she needed she was put at the end of a long corridor stuck in a private room no one sat outside no one was checking on her only when she need he er 4 hour bed roll she was basically left there to die that is our palliative cancer care at the hospital my mum couldn’t press her buzzer for help and when she did a nurse told her it wasn’t a toy, that nurse is lucky she didn’t end up in the next room to her, my mum couldn’t hold a cup to drink they basically just put a jug Infront of her and left so my mum never drank, they told us to encourage her to eat and drink but mum refused and if we didn’t visit constant through the day she would of had no one. When she was at home in the beginning and we had got her hospital bed etc set up at home, a palliative care nurse made a visit to go through what there job was that was the 1st and last time we saw her she basically told us palliative care don’t step in till last 12 weeks of life, little did we know that’s all mum had to live, we had no support off palliative care they didn’t even speak with my dad, the only support we got were from the carers twice a day they even had the decency to ask my dad if he needed anything she just about got a home visit from her own GP he was wanting to do a phonecall I think the support for cancer patients is crap unless you pay for private care and why should people have to pay to be looked after. Sorry got carried away ranting just makes me so angry the level of care for dying people is disgusting especially the elderly.
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I’ve woken up this morning feeling a bit flat to be honest it’s going to be a long day feel like staying in my PJ’s but I need to move, or I’ll end up spiraling again not wanting to do anything, hope your counselling goes ok x
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I know exactly how you feel I was told she had a small bleed on the brain and it would sort itself out after she died I complained in the notes it says a large bleed that would explain why she was so confused they told me when old people are in hospital they get confused all I get is apologies I don’t know what to do next to take this anger away it’s draining me
My counselling went well. Talked through loads of stuff. Tired now though. Just about to go and see my GP.
Look after yourself today x
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It’s so hard. My mom had metastatic ovarian cancer, we only found out 2 hours before she died. She was so poorly and despite being in hospital for 11 days, they only worked it out 24hours before she died.
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Woo4, the bit about waking up near the time of your mum passing, my mum passed away 8 weeks next week, 
Friday nights early Saturday morning I dread…thank you for that helpful insight. I was off work yesterday due to vertigo, never ill, Dr says all to do with whats going on at the moment.xx
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You too Becca, I’m about to go visit my dad, feel like I just want to stay in my PJ’s today, I know he probably wouldn’t mind but I’d feel guilty if I didn’t go x look after yourself today xx
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Morning all
Reading all the new entries on here regards treatment at the hands of the nhs makes my blood boil and I witnessed it first hand
Some of us have been on here a little while longer than others but it’s every new person that joins has had a parent suffer the same injustice at the hands of the nhs yet still they strike for more money . I again know it isn’t them all but their is a lot of bad working there that just don’t care … I think they lose interest with the elderly and the care isnt the same because they are so ill they don’t have the capacity to complain themselves
Well let me tell you I did and fell out with many of them , the treatment or lack of with my mum was shocking but I was my mums voice and the way they spoke to her was patronising again I pulled them for it
I said when I took mum out she will never come back to this hole unless she has died and sadly that was the case
It ain’t good enough and I feel for you all with a story to tell
My heart goes out to everyone on here suffering the same pain and heartache it really does x
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Becca, does your friend who is going through the notes with you have a healthcare background?
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Yes, she is a senior nurse & very knowledgeable. I also have a friend who is a GP if I need some other advice about the notes.
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I understand @Lisa_L51 . Sometimes I want to avoid seeing my dad as it just reminds me that my mom isn’t here. Just go for a bit, I find an hour or so is enough for my dad.
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Don’t feel like a fraud Becca, as Lucy said there are different stages of grief some of which we experience in random orders. I wonder if our minds choose to protect us from the feelings we have and shut things out to allow us to get on a little bit easier. The mind is infinitely complex x
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Lucy what a beautiful memorial tattoo xx I’m having one in a couple of weeks.
I’m glad you went in with a calm mind
Becca, so sorry about your situation with your mother, what I have said to Lucy regarding her mum also applies to your mum.
Do your mum a final act, tell the world how she was treated and what she went through, I know it will be painful, and believe me, when a loved one is involved it always is, but I suspect your mum would want you to do it and thank you for it.
It takes good people to do nothing for evil to triumph, some one needs to speak for your mum, and you like it or not, are that person, if more of us spoke up regarding the poor treatment of our elderly loved ones in hospital, pressure would be brought to bear on the ‘fat cat’ hospital trust managers, and force them to stop treating the elderly and terminally ill like discarded luggage on a platform railway station.
Do it for your mum, and do it for yourself as well and do it for all of us, we may all be old and terminally ill one day.
Use social media, contact the tabloids, local radio stations etc, ‘Publish it in Rome,
tell it in Guaff,’ (line from a speach in classical times)
Our mum’s walk in spirit with us every day, in the fullness of time we are reunited with them, she will thank you for this final service.
Bless you Becca, your family, and all who love you.
Timxx
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Hi Braddy
Do your mum a last service, I know it will be hard but as you said, you, are her voice.
TELL THE WORLD HOW SHE WAS TREATED AND HOW SHE SUFFERED, do it for her, yourself, and all of us, the world needs to know,. and be reminded we might all be old one day.
Tim
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