First week back doing my full 25 hours not done them since June last year. I am wiped out. I am hoping it doesn’t impact my weekend and take me down a spiral.
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Have a nice soak in the bath and relax this weekend hopefully get a good night’s sleep you have survived your first week I applaud you x
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Yep. There are so many times that I want to tell my mom something and then realise I can’t.
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Yeah I’m the same my mum was my go to when I had good news she was the first person I told and she could also tell if something was wrong she was my shoulder now I have no one but my kids, I’m actually upset now reading that it’s so true x
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I know Lisa it got me because it’s so true to the very word and hits you right in the face and stomach as it says
I’ve got a couple of videos I took of my mum 3-4 months ago when I knew she was worsening and realised I didn’t have anything so I play them to hear her voice but it just breaks my heart and I break down hearing her x
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I am trying to not think about it as it would upset me too. My body is so tired today, my legs ache.
My mom and I shared so many interests and hobbies I hate not being able to be with her.
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I am sat overthinking everything. That I am in the false sense of security and that the grief is going to hit me again like a big boulder.
It might do… …but it might not! You know the grief hasnt vanished so yes it probably will return, but all you can do is take that one hour / one day at a time. Enjoy the calmer times - use it to rest and recharge. Dont end up worrying about grief or else you will add another layer of stress that you dont need! 
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You are right, I guess it’s my anxiety rearing its ugly head. I have been in my pj’s lay on the sofa since I got home from work. Threw a tea together. I made it through this first full week at work.
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I have come to bed now and so overcome with emotion. I am sobbing and I don’t know why. I don’t know what has triggered this. Maybe just tired and overcome with getting through this week.
I miss my mom 
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Bless you, youre right its probably a combination of exhaustion and relief at getting thru the week. Just let it out, but if you find it getting too overwhelming it might help to get up and get yoursrlf a hot drink, watch tv something just to distract the brain until it settles down
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Burst into tears again, was sorting through the bag that I bought home for my he hospital after mom died. It had her dressing gown, slippers and the last pj’s she wore. There was me thinking I was all ok now. Then grief smacks you in the face.
I kind of think I am masking it to get through work. I do feel a bit more in control with it though.
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Aww it’s hard isn’t it and it just takes a little thing that triggers and all those emotions come flooding back x
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Yes, felt like I was wailing when I cried this morning. No one was home, so maybe I knew I could let it out.
How are you today @Lisa_L51 ?
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Got a few hours sleep wasn’t as restless although I did wake at 4.30 and done some washing, been and done all the shopping to and my dad’s, so just off home got a bit of a headache at the moment so just going to take 2 paracetamol sort tea out and watch a film x
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You have done well today. Sometimes getting up and doing something is more productive than trying to get some sleep. What film do you think you will watch?
We met up with friends this morning. I have been working on my coursework for the last couple of hours. What I have realised is I only have 3 more units and I am done. I thought I had more. What a relief, just want to get it out of the way now. Taken me so long to get fully qualified because of Covid, surgery, and the latest big curveball of my mom dying.
Getting there, slowly. Hoping someone cooks tea though.
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I’m having a bday day today . All sorts going through my head some that I don’t like . Even thoughts of going away and not telling anyone … I think it’s cos I’m in the house alone today . Horrible day been upset all day x
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Not sure what film to be honest might even look for a series to watch, I did binge watch that Mr banks v the post office this morning it was good, there are a few good dramas I’ve actually binge watched since mum died, when I havnt been able to sleep, had a couple of episodes today were I’ve had tears in my eyes reading messages from different people, can’t decide if I can be bothered eating or not just feel sick can’t get rid of this headache i have my PJ’s on curled up on the sofa, hoping tomorrow is a better day for both of us x
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Yeah I thought of going away and not telling anyone that’s how I felt at the beginning but then thought no I’ll only be taking my grief with me and I wouldn’t want my kids getting hurt they are to young to be dealing with that.