It’s not that I don’t want to burden them, I’m just disappointed in them and as in them I mean my siblings, my girls are too young to deal with my emotions and my dad who is 91 he has his own emotions to deal with x
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@Lisa_L51 thinking if you today, hope counselling goes as well as it can. Here if you need to talk afterwards.
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Sorry you are suffering so much. We’re here for you.
Xx
I am so very tired. I hate this exhausted feeling. I just want a break from my low mood.
Last week was like a honeymoon period of relief to have made it through Christmas. I mean I do still feel in control, but just exhausted.
Work again today, just 6 hours to get through today.
Thanks Becca I will I’m just heading off now x
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Well becca my first session was emotionally draining the hour flew by and I sobbed all the way through feel like I could sleep for a week now my head hurts x
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@Lisa_L51 well done for getting through it. You will feel really drained and probably tomorrow. Rest and make sure you get some you time. You need this to process it all.
After your next session plan a treat for your self. Whether that is a nice lunch or grab a nice coffee from somewhere. Self care is really important after counseling.
I am proud of you, if that does sound daft. I know how hard it was for you today. I really do understand. Xx
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Thankyou so much becca it means a lot, im so exhausted now after all that and I know what your saying is right and the councillor said exactly the same, but because I’ve done so much for so long and not put myself first ever in my life, I don’t know how to the pressure and weight on my shoulders is still there xx
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Hi Lisa
I’m glad to hear you got through your first session and it was always going to be hard and draining for you . I guess it brought it all to the top ( not that it’s ever left you )
My thoughts are with you
I had thought about it myself but I’m rubbish I would just sob through it I still struggle if people stop me in the street and mention mum to hold it together
All of you on here have been a massively counsellor for me and I’m so grateful x
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Well done for getting thru it Lisa, go and put your feet up now if you can? Ive just come back from my 1st bereavement support group and also feel exhausted - having a hot choc with Baileys to recover. I was worried it would be a huge disappointment and that id come away feeling even worse, but it was good - exactly what ive been waiting for. There was only 4 of us in the group plus 2 people facilitating, it lasted 90 mins so there was plenty of time for people to share and just see where the conversation went. Just a shame its only once a fortnight!
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You know what I never thought in a million years I’d ever need a councillor but when my mum was seeing one beginning of last year I actually benefited from the sessions as well, I would recommend it I really would they are not bothered if you sit there in that room and cried all the way through like I did today I just let it all out x
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Yeah I went 60 mins and just sobbed, she told me just let it all out, I feel like crap now just slept for an hour my head feels as heavy as my heart, but I said a lot and even talked about how each of you had helped on here whilst I was waiting for my one to one xx
You will find you way through this. I have had counselling for nearly 4 years because of my mental health struggles. I only cried last year for the first time so you have done really well.
Try not to overthink and just rest. You will process over the next couple of days. Definitely plan on something after counselling that can be part of the routine. Xx
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Thankyou it was quite a challenge, very emotional and I was exhausted and when I came out my head hurt x
I feel so run down my whole body is aching head to toe eyes are so sore my my throat hurts, went my dad’s after had a coffee and something to eat with him even took us a cake then literally went to sleep only an hour but my eyes and whole body was aching, I can’t feel like this going back to work or I’ll never get through the day, I have 3 weeks to get my head straight I told my boss I was hoping to be back I can’t keep putting it off any longer it’s not healthy councillor wouldn’t let me leave the session as I was so upset she had me doing breathing exercises at the end to calm me down just don’t know how much longer I can keep going on like this before I make myself ill then I’ll be no good to anyone not even myself xx
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That makes sense, talking about everything is going to bring all of the emotion and pain to the surface, you don’t need the brave face in counselling and that’s part of the process. Now you’ve got the first one out of the way, and you’ve met your counsellor hopefully you’ll build trust and gain more from your next sessions.
Work helped bring me routine and made me tired enough to get sleep, like you I’m in a customer facing role and the first few shifts felt strange and difficult but have also helped me feel stronger and moved me forward.
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@Lisa_L51 this is to be expected. You have been through a trauma and grief is physical, mental & emotional. Listen to your body and rest. Don’t try and push yourself to do stuff as you’ll just feel worse.
As for work, when you do feel ready to go back do it on a phased return, have it properly managed. Your GP will do you a note, don’t rush back to full hours. Trust me it won’t work you need to ease back in gently.
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Morning, how is everyone today?
It so frosty today, I have come to my local coffee shop as I do every Thursday on my day off. Just a little bit of selfcare.
I have to work this evening as it’s Parker’s evening. I hate it.
I am feeling in the angry stage, but more controlled. I am so angry at how my mom was treated. She was just left to die and no one cared.
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Not doing great my session on Tues brought up a lot of stuff that I am suppressing emotionally, anger and guilt that I had pushed to the back has surfaced again thought I’d be ok but it messed with my head a bit so feeling quite emotional again havnt seen my sister in 2 weeks no text nothing but my brother did visit my dad yesterday he did say something though he said he thought I’d be back at work and I was dragged it out, if only he new the truth I don’t think he would of said anything but my sister must of spoken to him because he said she was in work on nights, so I’m wondering what her problem is and does it still stem from the hospital because I know things are never going to be the same between me and her ever again and I’m angry because she did that to us she ruined what we had and I don’t think I can ever fully forgive her if I’m truly being honest with myself, i just hope I can forgive myself one day for letting her get to me, but i won’t again I’ll always be one step ahead of her from now on x