I’ve just jumped up thinking it was morning to find it’s only 11.30 I fell asleep what I thought was ages ago, fed up of this now it’ll probably take me ages to get back asleep, what makes you think you have autism has someone said something to you xx
I hope you found your way through the forms I can’t imagine what that feels like, I’m sure you will find a way through it all, we are here to support you in any way we can, would your Dr be able to help you fill the forms in maybe, what has your Dr said about it, do they think you may be on the spectrum, I woke about 4.45am feel like I could sleep for ever but think that’s it now my head won’t allow it and so my day has started, god knows what my counselling session will bring today don’t even know what I’m going to talk about that I havnt already cried my way through all I know is that I am lost without my mum and having to live my life round that i can’t even comprehend I feel so empty inside right now that i feel I’ve given all i can give i have nothing left x
Sorry you didn’t sleep. I had a terrible night too.
Worried about my dad, I have to take him to a Dr’s appointment this morning. Made the appointment for during breaktime, then I was told last night that I have a meeting with the CEO for the mock Ofsted at breaktime. That has now changed to lunchtime. So when do I get my lunch? I haven’t bought anything with me. I can’t cope with things like this.
I miss my mom so much, I just want to curl up in bed.
The whole autism thing came about form a mental health team appoint I had 4 years ago, which was horrible. They pointed out that I was probably on the autistic spectrum but weren’t prepared to refer me because of the waiting lists.
My daughter is autistic and I see so much of myself in her. I have talked a lot to my counsellor about this and she works with autistic people as well.
My GP has been supportive too. But it is such a minefield. Work know, but still don’t fully get it. I think it is all connected to my depression & anxiety as well. Part of the form has to be filled in by someone else and there are questions from birth 
my mom is the only one who would truly be able to do this bit. But I have to try and sort it with my Dad.
I am sat on my own at work, stressed out. Got here early but had to drive back home as I had left my phone at home!
I will be glad when today is over. I dread getting up every day. 
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Well if it’s any consolation I’m not having a good day either I’m laying here thinking to myself I havnt nothing left to give I feel so empty if I was to walk away just go would anyone even miss me both my kids are horrible to me and I can’t even stand to be in the same house as there dad can’t get through to doctors again medication is making me feel horrible just don’t care anymore x
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I hope your dad is ok x
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The medication can make you feel worse before it kicks in. Please tell your counsellor how you feel and that you can’t get through to GP.
You do matter, we care. Xx
Thank you, he can barely walk. It’s his hip or knee or both. It’s such a worry.
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Hope he gets sorted, could just be arthritis but better to be sure. Been taking the anxiety tablets since before Christmas only ever took one now I’m taking 2, still havnt started the others as I need something to pick me up of a day not of a night and did the Dr only give me them to help me sleep not to help me get through the day hope your day turns out better than mine x
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You really need to see a GP. It’s awful that you can’t get through.
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I’ll try again later x if not I’ll just get on with it x
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I feel in such a weird mood today. I can’t stop thinking about my mom. My dad said today that he still thinks she’ll walk into the room. Makes me so sad 
. It should have been different.
I’ve had a tough day at work as well. I am just tired of it all. Grief changes everything
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I had my counselling session today 60 mins went by in a flash a lot different from last week got all the stuff that was making me angry out in the open all the stuff with my sister everything and how it’s made me feel spoke about how empty I’m feeling and if anyone would miss me if I just left the whole lot came home to my dad had something to eat and went to sleep supervisor from work txt me asking if I could give her an idea if I’m going back in 2 weeks as they have staffing issues just told her politely that I couldn’t say how ill feel in two weeks and I’m not going to feel pressured into giving an answer I’m living day by day and I’ll let them know in 2 weeks, councillor told me not to rush things just to see day by day not to feel pressured by work as I’m dealing with a lot at the moment, Did your dad have his appointment how did it go x
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I am pleased your counselling session went well. You’re doing great. Absolutely don’t be pressure to going back to work. I felt pressured and I went back too soon.
My dad got on ok, my GP was lovely with him and we have a plan which is good.
I just feel meh today, not in a good head space with it all.
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I’m still in my dad’s I’m just waiting to collect my daughter from her music lesson then I’m going home and the 3 of them can see to them selves I’m going to sleep my heard hurts I just need to sleep x
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I popped to see my dad after work. We talked a lot about my mom and what happened. All the what ifs. My dad then said I sometimes think she is going to walk through the door. I feel so sad for him, he witnessed some awful stuff while she was at home I am sure. He was basically watching her down in front of him. I can’t imagine how it must feel on his own. I love my dad so much and just wish I could spend more time with him.
My head is all over the place today. I just wish I could have a conversation with my mom. There is so much I want to say to her.
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I am sat at work wanting to go home. I feel like I was in this ‘honeymoon period’ after the Christmas break. Relief I had got through it.
But now I am exhausted and just want to hide. I just want my mom, I miss her so much. Nothing will ever be the same again.
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I am really feeling your pain right now I hope you can find a way of getting through the day xx
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I finally got in touch with the drs surgery, no appointments or phone consultations left that was at 8.50 explained the situation still no joy, put a request in on line, see how long it takes them told them how desperate I am to get help changing my medication as I really need it but scared to take it, it’s horrible I’m just trying to keep calm today as my anxiety is bubbling away in my stomach I can feel it x
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It is just awful that you can’t get an appointment. Hang in there, hopefully the online form will get answered soon.
Here for you xx
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Thanks Becca now I now how people really feel when they are desperate for HG elp and can’t access any, I’m so tired today brain feels a bit foggy, even though I got some sleep about 5/6 hours it’s was broken in two it still wasn’t enough, come round to my dad’s as had to go somewhere just had a coffee so going to try have a nap to see if it helps my head a bit xx
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