How is everyone doing? My line manager has asked if I’ll have a phone call with occupational health. Does anyone have experience with this? I don’t.
After I told her that I don’t intend to return on 12 Feb, she said:
I would like to make an occupational health referral for you. I believe it would involve you having a chat with someone over the phone, so that they can advise us on the best ways to support you when you do come back. Would you feel up to taking that phone call? I doubt it would happen particularly soon.
My initial thought is that I’d rather not. I trust my line manager and her line manager more than some unknown. I only want to speak to people trained in bereavement, or those who I know and trust.
Hi Burgled.
I have referred several people to Occupational Health over the years. It’s a sort of formality that your employer has to do to be honest as they have a duty of care for you. After someone has been off work for a certain time it’s usually in the workplace policy that a person has to be referred. Different workplaces have different timescales.
Please don’t worry about it as in my experience the Occupational Health people are extremely understanding calm and are there to support you first of all and they really do listen. I think you may be able to take someone with you so ask if you can. Along with referring people I was also referred myself when I had cancer and like you I was apprehensive as it was the unknown in what to expect. I can only say they listened to everything I said and I felt reassured they would help me and over the course of a few months they referred me for counselling. This was done quickly and much faster than anything I could have arranged myself as the waiting list was very long.
Your line manager would invite have sent them a referral form with the basic details of why you are on sick leave. That’s all.
When you go to see them try to make a list of what you want to tell them. And don’t worry about crying They are used to seeing people cry. I found the whole experience helpful.
They are there to help you get back to work yes but they are also there to find ways to help you cope and find what methods of support you need when you go back.After your allowed leave of sickness absence which is whatever is in the workplace sickness policy Occupational Health will suggest to you that maybe you should go back on a phased return basis. This may be half a day or one day the first week then maybe two days the next week until you are back full time. I used to be a Headteacher so in schools phased return was planned over a four or six week period. Different workplaces have different timescales but remember you are in the driver’s seat so to speak It’s you who decides when you return and how many days and hours you do until you return full time.
Occupational health will inform your line manager and before you return to work even for just a morning there should be a meeting with Occupational health yourself and your line manager to confirm arrangements and the meeting should be minuted with everyone having a copy. That way there is no misunderstanding. But whatever happens please go to the meeting in person if you can because it’s far better than a phone call as you are talking about very personal things to a stranger and you deserve a face to face meeting.
Apologies if this is a bit long
Deborah
I wish my employer had been that kind. I am still upset with them as I am really behind with work and absolutely swamped. Unfortunately no one else knows how to do my job.
Hi Burgled - i worked in HR supporting managers in managing sickness absence so very familiar with occupational health referrals. Deborah has already given a very comprehensive reply which is everything you need to know. It is normal, from the managers perspective they are trying to understand likely timescales for returning to work and how they can support you in the workplace etc. If you need any further advice just shout x
@Becca_d@Burgled unfortunately not every workplace cares about there employee’s my works coordinator phoned me the other week to check on meas they are supposed to do a welfare check it only took them 10 weeks to see if I was ok, good job some of my work colleagues where checking on me I hope they understand what your needs are moving forward x
I had really bad brain fog at the moment and I am just so tired. Feel like I am just going through the motions of everyday. I am not productive at work.
I just can’t get my head around the fact that my mom has died. It still doesn’t feel real. I am avoiding seeing my dad as my heart breaks for him. He is sad and talks to me about it all.
I feel just so meh. I haven’t slept again, got such a full on day some of it nice some of it work stuff that I have to do even though it’s my day off.
My head feels all over the place. Grief is horrible and it’s like I don’t know what I am grieving for, I am angry, sad, tired so many emotions.
Tried to get appointment with my GP today, but nothing not even a phone one. I don’t like speaking to a different GP as it makes me anxious. Got to try again tomorrow.
I can’t imagine ever feeling ok again. The exhaustion I feel is horrible. I still can’t believe that my mom isn’t here . I don’t think it will ever feel real.
Exactly what I think every morning when I have to drag myself up I still struggle to believe this is happening even though we were on borrowed time you can never prepare yourself for what lays ahead we thought we had more time but we didn’t and that’s what is so hard for me I’d always tried to protect her from everything, kept them both safe from COVID but I couldn’t save her from this and that’s were my guilt comes in I couldn’t save my mum this time and I just miss her so much.
I don’t feel good today. Trying to do housework but have to keep sitting down. I just want to sleep.
My mom’s quality of life for her last 6 months was really poor and had we known what lay ahead we could have made some memories and planned for what was going to happen.
My counsellor says I probably have ptsd. I feel guilty for saying that, but she is probably right.
That’s exactly how I’m feeling well I’m not actually feeling anything at the moment I’m brain has clouded over can’t think straight meds are constantly making me nauseous I’m not sleeping havnt eaten havnt cried I’m just numb x
