Oh wow never thought of it being on audio! Youll probably find some resonate more than others - i have certain ones ive earmarked and reach for when i need some comfort. 
1 Like
Popped to see my dad today. He is so sad, he said he could stay in bed all day as what is the point. It breaks my heart. My heart is aching for my mom, we miss her so much. It just doesn’t feel real.
2 Likes
Back to work after the half term break and I feel dreadful. I just want to cry. I just feel sad all the time.
I have some changes that will be happening at work and it has wobbled me alot as u have to make the decision. I am not ready to make decisions.
But I also feel that no one believes in me anymore because of how I have been these last few months since my mom died.
I really don’t feel well at the moment.
Hope you feel better soon, I’ve just got another sick note for 2 weeks as I can’t even contemplate going back yet, think of it as a little win going back, I wish I had the strength to
Take care xx
1 Like
As I have reflected, u didn’t take enough time off after my mom died. It’s been nearly 6 months since she died and the pain is still bad. Work were not supportive at the time and didn’t give me the time I needed.
Just got to keep going, but feel rubbish. I am seeing my GP tomorrow so going to talk about how I feel. Not that he can do much, but he will listen.
That’s very frustrating about work not being supportive, I rang up this morning to let work know I was having another 2 weeks off and didn’t get the sympathetic response like I did at the start of my grieving
I wonder if your doctor may advise more time off, would you think that my be of benefit? let me know how you get on if that’s ok, take care, im thinking of you
I could probably do with more time off, but I know it would cause me a lot of stress at work. I was on reduced hours for a lot up until Dec. I will talk to my GP about it all tomorrow.
I guess as time goes on it feels like I am further away from my mom. I miss her so much.
I know exactly what you mean, I’m missing my mam so very much, it hurts, keep posting, its the only thing keeping me going at the moment, good luck at the doctors
1 Like
I meant to add a heart for you but pressed the reply button
1 Like
So today has been a tough one for me I had my counselling session and it was a difficult one I am struggling so much with my grief this week I thought I was doing ok but infact I’m not I’m just pushing my feelings down so they don’t surface around other people because I know if I let them go I’m going to crumble and I hold onto my emotions and release them when I go see my counsellor and she is amazing she sits and tells me to let it all out not to be afraid of doing that that I have the right to do that it’s my grief and do I find that the more I love a person the more grief you hold onto and yes that’s exactly how I’m feeling inside, my mum was everything to me I had so much love for her and still do the flashbacks I have are quite traumatic that I don’t sleep much if I think about it sometimes I’m afraid to shut my eyes because of the images I see.
5 Likes
Your counsellor sounds really good. I think as women we try and hold it altogether for the sake of other people. I am exactly the same.
You are doing really well with your counseling and opening up. It can be scary to let all the feelings out.
Make sure you rest as much as you can to help you process.
2 Likes
I think in the early stages of grief, its almost impossible to control your emotions, hence i ended up breaking down anywhere/everywhere. As grief progresses, for me it feels easier to suppress it for a period if required. However im very conscious the grief is still there doing its thing, so thats where i think its important to continue to let it have an outlet in a safe space such as you are doing with counselling, or a trusted friend, or even time alone to grieve. I find after a while of suppressing my grief i almost dont want to go back to it, because i know its going to be so painful. I imagine emotions similar to water - they can sometime be huge waves, sometimes calmer, but they need to "flow ".
4 Likes
That’s exactly right, that’s why I try and surpress my feelings because I feel if I fully let go then there may be no way back and I don’t want that I have people who depend on me to be strong, I’m just not as strong as I used to be the session today has left me exhausted I didn’t realise I’d kept so much in this past week as I hadn’t had time to be alone with the kids being on half term break I really didn’t have time to clear my head x
I’m so glad you’ve found a good counsellor, Lisa, and have a space to let all the emotions out. It’s hard to hold it in for others.
1 Like
I suppress my feelings as it is too painful ,we all sound similar.
I don’t feel strong at the moment.
Sending hugs to you all
1 Like
Yeah it’s so hard putting that face on and wanting to scream inside, my counsellor is amazing she always seems to know what I’m thinking, and helps me release what I’m feeling she also helps me do breathing exercises whilst I’m there to try calm me down x
2 Likes
I really thought I was stronger but I’m not, I’ve been made to realise I don’t have to be and it’s not a weakness to feel that way which I’m now realising x
3 Likes
Some days I just can’t put that face on properly, it takes too much energy that I don’t have. And when I have to, I usually crash afterwards.
2 Likes
I always feel like if I show my emotions I am weak. I need to let people in. But it’s so hard.
2 Likes
I saw my GP today and he said I am so exhausted because of the grief and trying to get through everyday and support my dad and kids. My whole body just aches sometimes .
I really wish u could cry. I just feel empty.