Input a brave face in every day and it is hard work and exhausting. I worry too much what people think of me.
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I think that’s what’s happened today as I feel so sick now I’m drained x
That’s what we spoke about today it’s not a weakness it’s grief x
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My best friend said pretty much this to me, today. I had a nice afternoon with her, but on leaving I burst into tears. And she told me I don’t need to hide anything for her. She also said that when my dad was admitted to hospital (and she rushed to come and support us) I was trying to string sentences together and act normal and I really didn’t need to do that. But I guess it’s what we do.
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I worry about that too. But I think people notice us less than we imagine, they are probably too worried about what we think about them!
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I could cry right now. I have counselling on Thursday thankfully. I need to have a good cry and let it all out.
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That’s basically what I’ve done today Becca ive let it all out and I feel like crap x
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Get plenty of rest. Give yourself time to process it all. Talk to us if you need to xx
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Thanks I will just want quiet time now and kids won’t shut up, I need to close my eyes I think but know if I go to sleep now I will be awake in 2 hours x
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Can you just go and sit in your bedroom for some quiet or maybe the kids can go to their rooms.
It’s so hard when all you want is quiet and the house is busy.
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They have all just gone up the stairs and it’s gone quiet now, so I can have a bit of peace so I have TV on low and subtitles on as that’s how I watch TV can’t bare it when they have it blasting away got my PJ’s on with my pillow and blanket on the sofa calming myself down just too much traffic when they are all talking at once x
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Enjoy the peace. It can be hard when there is a lot of chaos in the house.
That’s how I felt last week. I needed my half term to recover.
I am so tired and my whole body aches. This happens every evening now. Guess it just how things are.
I hope that you rest and sleep tonight. Keep doing things just for you.
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Falling asleep now so going to settle down nite all chat tomorrow x
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Well feel horrendous today woke at 2.30 this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep got eldest daughter off school with flu and no voice, appointment with mental health nurse was cancelled next appointment available 2 weeks time so told them not good enough I need to see someone so doctor phoning me tomorrow with appointment so not in a great place to day after yesterday I really needed to see that nurse I am feeling so deflated and low.
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That sounds like an awful day. But you did good advocating for yourself to get a Dr appointment. Don’t hold back let them know exactly how you feel.
I hope you get some sleep tonight. Tell them you are not sleeping as well.
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Yeah I was just so annoyed that they cancelled I know it wasn’t nurses fault she was off sick but they should of fitted me in with the GP for the inconvenience and the fact it was a medical review I have 1 day left tomorrow of my medications for anxiety and the antidepressants it was just the way she said next appointment is 13th march as if I can wait that long I just saw red and thought you can’t mess around with someone who needs that appointment, so demanded they fitted me in with my Dr and when I go tomorrow he better fit me in with the mental health nurse next week x
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Good! Don’t let them get away with delaying it! 
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I won’t especially the way I’m feeling today x
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So reception at drs wrang this morning to book an appointment with a student so I flipped told them yesterday it had to be with my own GP as I don’t want to have to explain to someone I don’t know and go through all that trauma again so basically can’t fit me in till tomorrow I have no antidepressants left which should of been reviewed yesterday ive taken last one today so none left for tomorrow x
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What a mess! Of course you don’t want to see a student and you’re not supposed to run out of pills with that kind of medication. If you get it renewed tomorrow you can perhaps take the meds a little later that day (if you’re used to take them in the morning). But they shouldn’t have put you in that situation in the first place. 
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