A change of scenery will do you good I hope you make the most of it, I was thinking the same when I got up this morning that this is my life now had a little cry this morning talking to my youngest about how things have changed for her grandad and how much he misses them when he doesn’t see them couldn’t help it, it just brought tears to my eyes, hope you have a nice day xx
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Good on you for being on the train alone! I hope you will have a nice time. 
I’m not too good either, woke up so sad today. It’s just ongoing and never stops. I’m also going out later and hopefully that will break the mood for a while.
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@Becca_d hi, I’m not that great today. Mum’s funeral was on Wednesday, my family went back to UK and I’m alone again in my mum’s flat. Can’t bring myself to start sorting it out…
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I suppose you have to do it now, before going back yourself? Or can it wait a while? 
Woke up with the most horrendous headache, hardly able to move, only just starting to feel human again. Tried calling cruse helpline again yest and still couldnt get thru. Got a phone call with GP next week as im not sure if its menopause or grief making me feel so bad.
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@Ulma it can wait but I need to start somewhere. Already did a lot of clearing when I got here before Christmas as mum clearly wasn’t doing it. I think I will start with nice stuff, like photo albums. See if I can put them in some sort of order
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I am sorry, it’s alway tough just after the funeral. There is such a void. Just rest and look after yourself. I hope the sun is shining where you are
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I’ve been like that a couple of days this week. I think maybe some of how I feel is menopausal. I have come of my hrt because of the cancer risk 
.
Hope you feel better soon.
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I am on the train home, the sun is shining today which is nice. I had a good time. Ready to be home now though. It made a change to go out on a Saturday instead of being stuck in the house doing housework. Glad I made the effort.
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I just keep thinking my mom would have loved the lunch thing I went to today. I wish I could tell her about it and show her the videos.
I just need her so much .
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I used up so much energy going out today. I just wanted to crash on the sofa tonight. My husband has been out all week working on a show, we still have the dog, so can’t go to bed until he is home as she just doesn’t settle. Tonight u have had to take my daughter to her club, take my son his food to work and then have to pick her up. I just wanted some me time tonight. People keep telling me that’s what I need to do but i don’t get time to do it. I have to just keep going for everyone. My son’s girlfriend is due to come tonight as well.
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That sums it all up. I feel like I don’t want to have to be strong. I want to cry and be sad. I have lost one of the most special people in my life. 
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Doesn’t it, thought this sums up exactly how I feel especially when people say be strong, I used to be before all this but that was then and I’m a different person now I feel like I’m on the verge of a cliff and could fall off any minute x
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Saw this and it sums it up really. I miss my mom more as each day passes 
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It definitely does Becca and the longer it goes on the harder it’s getting can’t remember when the last time I actually laughed at something without feeling guilty and when I smile, all the while I’m thinking should I be, what is there to smile about, I just want the pain to go away, so I can think of my mum with happiness not sadness because everytime I think of her or talk about her my eyes fill up x
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The pain of it all is so immense right now. Time isn’t a great healer. Time makes the pain greater.
I am sobbing. I need my mom. I am so angry that she is gone. I wasn’t ready for this, I don’t want to have to be strong and deal with this. It isn’t fair.
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I know what its like when the sobbing starts only too well. think of it as a release valve. The pressure of grief builds up and the sobbing is the release You should feel just slightly better after. I hope this helps, sending you a hug 
Take care your not alone xx
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We’re sobbing together then. I hate this. I hate this so much.
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