Aww Lucy it’s heartbreaking and I feel your pain . I feel the exact same and I’ve cried a lot more today than I have recently and like you for the first time in my life to not be seeing either my mum or dad at the Christmas table absolutely breaks my heart. X
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I am so sorry Lucy. It is just heartbreaking for you and I really do understand. I feel like I am just going through the motions and thinking this is not happening to me.
I have been at the school concert tonight helping with stuff and I am just exhausted. It was hard listening to the Christmas songs.
Sending you hugs right now.
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Oh Brady,
How awful for you and your family. I just can’t believe it but in many ways I can as my mum was treated awful in hosp also
Deborah
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I feel for everyone going through this, I just can’t believe this is happening I really can’t accept that she has gone x
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I just heartbreaking I sit here thinking to myself is this it now is this what my life is going to be like day after day of inconsolable heartbreak as I just can do this anymore it’s too hard.
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Lucy you have said it so well. Inconsolable heartbreak. It feels like an out of body experience doesn’t it. I wish no one had to go through this . X
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I’ve gone for a long walk down the canal and I’m just sobbing as I’m walking . It was bad enough my dad going 5 years ago but losing my beautiful mum as ripped my heart out x
You echo my own thoughts today. I really don’t know how to do this. The anger returned too and the terrible thoughts that maybe dad would be here now if the hospital hadn’t missed things that made him worse. I don’t know what to do with that anger either.
@Ulma have you tried writing all the anger down? It might sound a bit simplistic but I find it really helpful, sometimes before I’ve even finished I feel a little better. (I’ve got lots of a pad filled with half finished rants!)
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Thanks, I’ve written down some of it. It helps a little in the moment, but it always returns. Do you rant on paper every time you feel bad?
@Ulma i know what you mean about it returning, I don’t write everything down immediately, I talk to my friends etc, but sometimes it’s not always what they need to hear. But I have found writing when I need to really helpful x
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Not having a great morning bumped into a friend of my mum’s in the bank that we had known for ages as we were always together she started asking me how I was doing and I just burst into tears in the middle of the bank💔
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Bless you, it’s so understandable. I don’t know what I can say to make it better. But I donn no understand. I can burst into tears in random places and at random times. It is all so fresh and raw for us all. Sending hugs x
I read this today and I will be honest as much as I still don’t know what to believe it certainly made me feel a little better
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I had my meeting at work today. It was just a tick box excersise. I did tell the head teacher exactly what happened and how it had made me feel. I think he was shocked. The HR person was in the meeting which annoyed me as I wanted to let him know how unsupportive she has been. Not much of a plan, but we are going to meet again in January. I just feel like I have let them down.
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Sorry the meeting was a tick box exercise, but you have certainly not let them down. You are grieving and you feel what you feel because you have suffered a devastating loss. It’s not your fault in any way at all. 
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The head also said do we need to get a 2nd careers advisor because the pupils need to have their meetings. I mean talk about making me feel incompetent. He had no people skills what so ever.
I am sat at home crying feeling so overwhelmed by everything and worrying that my Christmas presents for people aren’t good enough. I just want my mom to be here.
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Hugs you so much. I know, it’s like a physical ache, as if some part of us is missing, and it gets worse when feeling overwhelmed. I’m sure your Christmas presents are good enough, more than good enough considering the emotional turmoil you are in. Don’t doubt that.
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Firstly and foremost he should of spoken to you separately as a colleague you are grieving a traumatic loss and they should have acknowledged that never ever think you are letting anyone down and as for Christmas presents it’s the thought that counts xx
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You guys are all amazing and I am so grateful that we can support each other in our grief xx
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