I’m sat here crying my eyes out go into hosp tomorrow for an operation the same hospital my mum died and although it’s only a little op, I’m scared I won’t wake up and my kids won’t have a mum. I just want my mum today I’m missing her so so much I feel so lost.
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Hugs you too. 
If it’s a little op the risks are lower, but it’s no wonder you’re worried. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope you have someone to accompany you there tomorrow.
I’m a mess today as well, having written down my complaint to the hospital and it hurt so so badly to remember it all.
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Thanks, my kids are too young to go with me and dad’s too old, I live with someone but wish I didn’t as he just causes more stress, should of listened to my mum she told me to get rid, only stayed with him cos the kids were little I don’t ask him for anything and don’t get the support I should he just switches off from me, I’d sooner go by myself than rely on him only person I could rely on was my mum and she’s not here.
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lucy, i’ll be thinking and praying for your safe operation. we have to muster up courage in times of hurt and despair.
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Sorry to hear you don’t get support from the person you’re living with, that must be difficult. I too will be thinking of you, so you have us here from the forum with you in thought.
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Thankyou I’m sure I’ll be fine just got all sorts going around in my head x
Thankyou it means a lot x
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Wishing you all the best @Lisa_L51 for your op today - I’ll be thinking of you. Please let us know when you’re back home x
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Thankyou I will I’m in hospital now op this afternoon not doing general now so going to be awake whilst they do it, was hoping I’d get some sleep when they knocked me out. Probably be home tonight xx
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Thankyou x
I went out for brunch with my dad today. He was so emotional, we both just about held it together. He misses my mom so much. It’s his birthday tomorrow so we going to make him feel loved. His birthday is already sad as it’s the anniversary of when his brother took his own life. So tomorrow is a double whammy.
I feel so drained today and rubbish.
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Aww lovely that you both went out but so sorry today was a sad reminder for him as well xx
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Oh bless him that must be so tough. As you say, all you can do is let him know how much he is loved. Sending hugs to you both xx
Ive had a mixed day - Christmas cards wishing me a wonderful Xmas and letters from the DWP saying they overpaid Mums pension and we need to repay it. Neither was welcome. Ho ho ho …not.
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It’s so tough, I have no words on how I feel right now. Christmas feels unbearable. My mom adored Christmas and being with the family. My house looks festive, but inside I feel numb.
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I’m with you there. Can’t stop crying today.
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I haven’t stopped crying all day it just keeps hitting me in waves from the moment I opened my eyes . I don’t want to sound repetitive but I just can’t believe I won’t see either of my parents for the first time on Xmas day . I’m 47 and this is by far the worst time of my life . To think I won’t ever see my mum again makes me feel sick and I’m again sobbing as I type this 
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Seems like we all have an especially bad day today. I can’t manage anything at all, maybe it’s too close to Christmas or something. Like you, first time none of my parents are here and it’s the worst feeling ever.
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the past several days have been miserable for me. the cold weather and the silence in my home is deafening. has it ever been so cold?
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Just want to say I have read your posts and my heart goes out to you.
I was continually crying and I mean continually in the very beg. It’s now almost a year and yes I still cry every day but it’s not that gut wrenching cry that I felt then when I couldn’t breath with it
Someone told me last year it would get better by this. Christmas but hell no it doesn’t. It just eases a little.
Am thinking of you all going through this
Deborah x
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