So I’m sat here crying my eyes out I just want to see my mum I miss her so much why does life have to be so cruel.
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I am so sorry, it’s hard not having your mom. Sending you lots of love. Just let the tears flow. Do you have counselling tomorrow?
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Yeah I have my counselling just can’t believe I’ve been ok then out of nowhere I just burst out crying it’s just all unbelievable I keep expecting to see her or get a phone call from her x
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Good luck with the counselling I hope it helps 
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Yes, and they won’t admit anything really. We shouldn’t have to send in complaint after complaint either. I’m so disillusioned when it comes to the medical system now I’d rather not have anything to do with them. 
It has been helping I’ve had 6 sessions up to now.
I am so fed up with everything feeling so heavy. I just want to sleep. I hate facing every day without my mom
I am sat on my own today at work, usually there are people around but they are in meetings.
I just keep thinking this time last year my mom was here, we were totally unaware. I can’t get it out of my head
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It was the same we didn’t find out till the end of July x
I feel in a real negative mind set. Don’t see the point of anything. I am hating my job right now. All I want to do is sleep. I feel angry with the world. I want my mom to be here, I want to talk to her. My head can’t believe she has gone. 
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I’m currently having some counselling through sue Ryder (used the link on here)
Those negative days wear you down so much. A hug for you. 
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Morning all,
Another day to get through. I see a lot of things saying ‘embrace the grief’. I might be being daft, but how do I embrace it? Right now I don’t want to have to feel it or believe it.
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Hi Becca,
I suppose that’s similar to saying “lean in” to the grief. I suppose it means, actively feel all of the terrible emotions, and don’t try to supress them…?
I saw a post (it was a meme, and in its defence I don’t think it had been written for grief, but someone had posted it in a grief group) which said that “your heart will mend”. So I commented that, no, it won’t. My heart will be forever scarred.
Memes do my head in 
. Some of them are so lazy and ill-thought through.
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Morning
How do you embrace something that hurts you so much ? I don’t understand that at all
Mixed emotions today because my heart is telling me my mum would hate seeing this hurt and upset , I know that deep down she would never want to see that and she would want me to be happy and enjoy life
But my head just doesn’t seem to process that in the right way
Hope your ok x
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Yep! My heart will never mend, it is scared for ever and will always be a little broken.
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Exact this @Braddy2905. It’s like an unwanted guest. I don’t want to lean in to it or embrace it.
Just feel low and exhausted. Work is getting me down a bit, but at the school that is usually ok. Not sure what is going on but I felt my line manager was off with me yesterday in as much as she sat next to me at lunch but didn’t even acknowledge me or look at me. Really odd.
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It’s one of those grief clichés, I suppose. I get it in the sense that you shouldn’t avoid the grief to the point that you never ever stop to grieve. But embrace it… it’s when I’m closest to those emotions I spiral into the darkest of thoughts. And I’m not sure that’s good either.
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I guess why you would feel that odd and unjust if I’m honest .
Obviously I don’t know your working relationship but don’t understand why someone would act that way
Id say you are already embracing your grief by going to counselling and being honest about how you feel. Im reading “grief works” by Julia Samuel and theres a line in there that says “as humans we naturally try to avoid suffering, but contrary to all our instincts, to heal our grief we need to allow ourselves to feel the pain, we need to find ways to support ourselves in it, for it cannot be escaped” . I think thats whats meant by embracing it, her experience as a psychotherapist is that more damage is done when people either try to suppress or avoid it, or then turn to other harmful habits in an attempt to fill the void. BUT it doesnt mean you cant find moments of distraction doing something relaxing during the day, we all need a break in between those intense waves of grief
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