Yes actually that does make sense, I’m so glad I joined this forum I know I’m no where near to being able to feel joy and happiness yet but at least I think I can cope better now.
I hope you’re coping OK 
1 Like
I also feel like that. I think it’s a lack of motivation and a heightened awareness of each moment because we struggle to cope each moment. Part of it could also be that our brains are overloaded enough as it is and focusing on something is difficult.
2 Likes
Im glad both your meeting and your hospital visit went ok. It sounds like a positive decision to reduce your working hours. My go-to remedy after any stressful day is always hot chocolate with baileys! 
That sounds really positive Lisa, and so lovely that you were able to smile when talking about your Mum. Im sure thats what she’d want whenever you think about her! 
3 Likes
No way I’ve just had one, I usually only have Baileys in coffee but I got some hot chocolate last week and tried it then.
Take care
Yes your right, I’ve read a lot about grief on the Internet and I do think the more you know/read does actually help at least understand what we’re going through and realise its completely normal xx
1 Like
I spent some quality time with my dad today. We went out for breakfast. Haven’t done that for a while because of being at work. But we made time on my day off.
Tonight I just thought this is all a dream. It isn’t true and I’ll see my mom. It was a really weird feeling. I just don’t know how I am ever going to accept this.
2 Likes
Not having a good day today.
We are inset day at work, we could come in later but I had a terrible night and couldn’t sleep. The first session was wills and pensions. I found it so hard having to listen about wills and dying.
Then went to work in another office to be around people, but was made to feel uncomfortable like I shouldn’t be there, so came back to my office to sit on my own.
Doing a bake off thing next, then lunch and then I can go home.
That’s so lovely, with your dad. My mum and I had a night away before I returned to work, and we’re planning another, just before Easter. We must continue to do nice things with loved ones
1 Like
Hopefully you’re home, now, and can put your feet up 
.
1 Like
Right I have a work related question for you I’m sorting out my phased return and submitted a 4 week phased return not, the question is I work 16 hours over 2 days but I’m going to be working 8 hours over 2 days now they are only paying me for the 4 hours a day but not paying SSP for the other 4 hours they want me to either use my holidays or take it unpaid I will basically be taking home less if I do a phased return than what I would if I took the month off, should they be paying me SSP for the rest of the time.
Hope you’re feeling a little better now, hopefully your home. Just think though at least you’re going to work and that’s very brave of you.
It’s the ups and downs of grief that’s doing my head in the constant self talk, sometimes useful, sometimes so negative, no wonder my head hurts, sorry just needed to get that out.
Take care and sending hugs 
Im not an expert but I think they’re probably right, my employers would have done the same, I knew I was going back on reduced hours so i made sure I didn’t go back too early and got paid for my full hours, you’re right about getting more money if you were to be off sick for the month.
Maybe you could contact SSP to make sure? Sorry I couldn’t be of more help but I know exactly where you’re coming from, its a slap in the face you just don’t need
Sending you a hug
1 Like
I thought they still had to pay you SSP? You shouldn’t be losing out just because you are on a phased return. I am no expert though, you would have to read your work sickness policy
2 Likes
I am home now, exhausted though, had to go to shops with my daughter and dad, taking my son to the station in a minute. Then I can relax. I told a friend about the office thing & she said well I was sat on my own if that helps. Erm…no, I am feeling lonely and vulnerable.
She doesn’t get it 
Enjoy your relaxing time, you deserve it
1 Like
Apparently not but if I was to go back 1 day they would getting stressed out supposed to start back Monday 9-1
Hmmm. I can only speak from my own experience, which is that I am paid as if I am working 37.5 hours, but I’m actually doing 15, which will rise as time passes. It doesn’t sound like a phased return if you’re having to take annual leave and the like. I think @Ally6 is very knowledgeable on HR matters.
Hi,
In the industry where I worked phased return meant going back to work on reduced hours but on the same conditions of your employment. That is if you work less hours and gradually build up your pay is the same as full time and all the rights you had when full time remain in place. Also phased return could be timetabled over 6 or 8 weeks. The ball should always be in the person’s court who is returning to work to ensure the whole process runs smoothly.
If you are in a union speak to them and take your rep to all meetings
Also workplaces should have written policies on leave of absence so check what it says. Always good to know where you stand for leave of absence that is allowed for with and without pay. And what the workplace puts in place for phased return.
Deborah
2 Likes
That sounds like the same as my workplace, except for there is seemingly no limit on the amount of time over which the phased return can take place. Although, watch this space, because I’ll have to become full time at some point…!
1 Like