Grief is so exhausting

Thank you: I do have a meeting as I am the careers officer so they will be having a 45 minute with me and an SLT member. I feel sick, even though I am good at my job. At least it will be over with.

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I hope tomorrow goes ok try not to stress too much easier said than done try get some sleep xx

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Best of luck with both your GP appointment and the Ofsted meeting tomorrow :crossed_fingers:

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Seen GP this morning told him exactly how I am feeling. He is going to signpost me to get some separate bereavement counselling. He doesn’t want to mess with my medication at the moment.

My best friend says I need to change my meds, but I can’t as. It took a long time to get the balance right. I feel like I will have to tell her a white lie and say he has increased my one tablet. Which he can do, but didn’t at the moment. He thinks I need specific bereavement counselling. My friend thinks I am already having this as I have counselling anyway. It’s all so complicated :weary::sob::cry::broken_heart::heart:

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Yes you are going to find some kind of ok again. It takes time and it wont be the same but if you take it one day at a time a new normal happens. You still miss them, ache for them sometimes but start to remember them in a way that makes you smile. But for now one day at a time is the was to go xx

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Hi Becca it’s good that he is directing you specifically to bereavement counselling as that’s what I’ve been having they are trained specifically in bereavement I’m doing so much better by having it and I think that’s what you need one to one the GP is right about the medication especially if you have found the right combination too many doctors are too quick to give more medication but not actually dealing with the problem I hope your meeting goes ok xx

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Friends mean well but oh i am getting tired of those who think they know what you “should” do. LIsten to the professionals and to your own instincts. If its taken a long while get your meds balanced, its a shame you feel you need to tell a white lie to get them off your back! Ive been told by a friend i “should” go do some charity work because I’ll be able to meet people and feel useful. (Thanks for that) Good luck with your Ofsted meeting. :crossed_fingers:

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Sometimes I don’t think other people can fully understand what another person is going through unless they have been there themselves they may think they are being helpful but it’s quite the opposite xx

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My friend is just worried about me, she is a nurse so gets a bit medical with me. She just cares.

My GP sent me some info and I am going to a group bereavement session in a couple of weeks through cruse. So will see how that goes. Maybe that and my other counselling will help. I need to sort out the complaint too.

My Ofsted meeting was ok, you just don’t know: that was my first time infront of an Ofsted inspector.

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This is what grief is.
A hole ripped through the very fabric of your being.
The hole eventually heals along the jagged edges that remain. It may even shrink in size.
But that hole will always be there.
A piece of you always missing.
For where there is deep grief, there was great love.
Don’t be ashamed of your grief.
Don’t judge it.
Don’t suppress it.
Don’t rush it.
Rather, acknowledge it.
Lean into it.
Listen to it.
Feel it.
Sit with it.
Sit with the pain. And remember the love.
This is where the healing will begin.

I’ve just read this online this is how my councillor described it to me a couple of weeks ago and she is so right x

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Good to hear the meeting went ok! And you got a few tips from the GP. I can understand that they don’t want to up the meds if you have found a level that works. Can’t you tell your friend the GP doesn’t think it’s a good idea, surely that carries some weight? :heart:

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So Ofsted have asked for more info for careers in the lower years. I am livid as I have been saying to leadership for years that we need to be intentional and it needs to be linked to curriculum. The stupid assistant head said we are doing an audit but don’t have all the information so it might be happening.

I am so upset. I work so hard. Even through all of this I show up and do my job. I just wanted to say I am grieving.

Hi Becca_d,
Please don’t get upset over what Ofsted said because it will work in your favour. Things will be put in place now as you suggested ages ago to the leadership team. You can only do what you can with the resources and tools you are given. This is a much bigger picture involving people higher up in the school.
You got through the session with them so honestly you have done do well. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You can only do what you can do.
There may be something written in the final report that refers to your meeting and the Headteacher or senior leadership will have to put things in place.
Inspections can cripple people especially as so much work goes into the preparation for them. When I was a Headteacher myself I received some crippling moments so I know how you feel.
Right now you need praise and reassurance from colleagues, line managers and leadership members so you can move forward with your head held high.
Everyone on here can feel the strength it took for you to get through today. Keep going and carry on doing your best. That’s all you can do.
Love Deborah x

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Thank you @seychelles . I feel
Sick and have got a headache. I didn’t sleep well either. I really hope they realise they should have listened to me.

I am so stressed, feel sick. I am
Being asked for so much information that I kind of don’t have because no one listened to me.

I need my mom today. I really need her. :broken_heart::cry:

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Just tell them exactly that, that you don’t have it, as you had allready said what needed doing and no one listened to you at the time, now it’s come back to bite them they are putting you under tremendous unnecessary pressure if they had only listened to you in the beginning, sounds like they are trying to pass the buck onto you xx

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Yeah, from my experience of Ofsted, conversations are confidential, aren’t they? Just be honest and tell them that you made recommendations that weren’t listened to. You shouldn’t feel like you have to cover for bad managers. They can deal with the fallout.

Edit: the reply was to Becca, but I’d clicked on Lisa’s response.

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You shouldn’t be made the scapegoat for their incompetence Becca especially at the moment so just tell them the truth x

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Hi Becca_d,
Don’t cover for other people’s problems Ask to speak to an inspector and explain the situation. Say how you have asked the management to do certain things and explain you feel you haven’t been listened to. You are there for the children / pupils so just cover yourself and don’t be made a scapegoat for people higher up.
Have you got any minutes of meetings showing you have asked for certain things. Don’t worry if not .Just speak to a member of the inspection team asap before they leave
If you don’t it will be forever on your mind
Or even write a letter to the team .
I can assure you they will all have a daily meeting and your letter will be ready out.
Thinking of you
Deborah x

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I didn’t get a meeting. I did ask. But staff have completed a document saying all the careers work that they do. It was very comprehensive. I didn’t feel I could go over the head. I just don’t have the confidence. But I have made a list of things I will feed back to SLT. Mainly saying ‘I told you so’. The principal knows and is on my side. I will also feed back how isolated o have felt these last 2 days