I also messaged the HR person saying how I felt alone and isolated this week and very stressed about Ofsted.
I honestly don’t know how u got through it.
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Make sure you tell them everything don’t hold back xx
Hiya Becca_d,
I understand. It’s very difficult for you. Yes agree that feedback is what you have to do.
Also it was good you contacted HR as it will be logged.
I was a Headteacher for 25 yrs and an inspector for 10 years so experienced both sides of the fence. Good and bad. Happy and sad moments.
At the end of the day you have done your best and you now have to move forward somehow. The team will give the Head or Principle feedback and a sort of summary which should be then shared with staff. The main report will be published in a few weeks time. This may have changed slightly as I have retired now and not up to date on timings.
There will a detailed report on all the areas that they focussed on during the inspection. Your meeting with them may not even be mentioned but any findings from it may be summarised in just one general sentence.
Please don’t worry about it because in the big picture of things it’s not worth worrying about it. With grieving you have more important things to think about and that is looking after yourself.
Love Deborah x
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The combination of grief, depression & anxiety has taken its toll. I have therapy tomorrow. So much to talk about.
I have really needed my mom this week.
It’s been quiet in here today. How are people?
It’s my best friend’s hen do this weekend. I’m the maid of honour, so feeling a little bit of pressure to perform, but I know that I can rely on some others to get the party going. There are 14 of us, of which 6 have lost a parent: 5 dads and 1 mum.
I have nothing positive to add.
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I hope it goes ok.
I have been busy today. Had to go to work for the post Ofsted debrief.
I am so exhausted & a little emotional. We break up tomorrow.
I was talking to one of the baristas in my local coffee shop and he was telling me about how his dad died suddenly last year. He hadn’t liked to tell me as he didn’t want to upset me. We had a good chat and he was saying time doesn’t make it easier. It was good to be able to be honest about our feelings. I mean I am older enough to be his mother! But could relate
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Oh really? Did you already know him a little bit? I take it he’s very young, then 
Have you got two weeks off for Easter?
Well he is 29, I have known h for a while as I am a regular at the coffee shop. So we’re kind of like friends, I guess I have a soft spot for him in a maternal way.
Yes. I have 2 weeks off. Me & my husband are going away for a few days.
Had one of those horrible realisation moments today. I was shopping for a birthday card - i always make sure I avoid looking at the “mum” cards, but it suddenly hit me that im never going to receive another “Daughter” card ever again 
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I saw a ‘dad’ card as I was waiting in line at the Post Office. I had to quickly blink back tears before I was called to the cashier.
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I have times like that, sometimes I still
Look at them and imagine buying one.
I just also find I have so much I want to tell my mom. I still feel like it is all a dream.
I have a note book with a nice floral cover that mam would like, I use it to write letters to her when I have any news or if I’m missing her. It helps somehow
Just a thought that might help 
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I started doing that , but my head just tells me it is pointless.
The void in my life without my mom is vast. I feel angry. I a doing a charity walk this month. Walking 100km in March for my ovarian cancer action. It’s called ‘walk in her name’. So emotive, I have done over that and raised over £650 so far. But inside I just feel like I don’t want to have to do this, it wasn’t part of my plan. My mom
Should be here
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Hi everyone, hows everyone doing sorry I’ve not been on here had a lot going on, went back to work Monday and Friday 1/2 days on my phased return Monday was fine, Friday was really busy and a little stressful, Tuesday had my counselling weds had to take my dad to collect his new glasses Thursday was my daughter’s options meeting after school then Friday afternoon was at work, then dad had an appointment at 6.20 so a busy week, my counselling has gone really well we are looking at completing in a couple weeks, medication is working, I’m relaxing a bit better now although it’s been 5 months already I still feel like my mum is going to walk through the door, I had a little moment yesterday when I was looking at her photo and hoping she’s in a better place I miss her so much but hopefully I’m managing to survive without her as that’s what she would want me to do she’d want me to carry on and look after my girls I just wish she was here to see them grow and how well they are doing x
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@Lisa_L51 you have done so well this week. I hope you are proud of yourself.
I am so pleased that work has gone ok for you: make sure you rest this weekend x
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For the first time in 5 months I feel proud of myself I’ve been able to make plans without feeling guilty that I shouldn’t be I’ve been able to laugh with girls in work and not feeling guilty about being able to do that Ive come to realise that the only person stopping me from living a life mum would want me to is me so I have to help myself do that, I know I’m going to be on the road for a very long time probably till the day comes for me to leave this world but I know my mum will be right beside me everyday whilst I do that, I know im going to have days were I feel like I’m in a place I shouldn’t be but I feel I’m in a better place for dealing with those days than I did before I have a future with my girls and seeing them grow into amazing strong women is my aim, I’ll still be here for whoever needs a chat especially you Becca, you have been amazing and I will always be here for you whenever you need me DM me as much as you need to talk ok xxx
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@Lisa_L51 reading this has made me cry We’ve never met but connected through grief and I feel so proud of you. It is a long road and you’re right we will feel it until the day we die.
Always here for you xx
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Aww I’m proud of you too I know you don’t feel like you have made any progress but by even being on here talking to strangers you have we all deal with grief differently each person is unique but we have all found ourselves here united in that grief and you might not think you have helped me but you truly have and I’m here to do the same xx
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Its great that youre feeling so positive Lisa - i bet if you cast your mind back 2/3 months it would have felt impossible that youd get to this point, so it gives us a bit of hope that even if we dont feel its possible that we’ll ever feel more positive about life again, it doesnt mean that it wont happen! Was there a particular turning point for you, a moment of realisation or would you say it was just a gradual process?
Its been a really challenging week for me - i went to visit a family member in hospital who is very poorly, and being in the hospital grounds was extremely triggering - mum went to so many wards over the last few years, everywhere i turned there was a memory. I got really upset although i held it together whilst on the ward.
And then yesterday was a meeting with a solicitor to kick off the probate process which ive been completely dreading so that totally wiped me out.
Next week is the last of the bereavement group sessions and i still have no firm date for one to one counselling. There is a group “drop in” but thats only once a month. Theyve said they “hope” the counselling should start in april but i really feel out on a limb until i know for sure. They want us to bring a memento of our loved one to the final session and talk about it, but i dont think i can, it would break me, especially if the group is then disbanding afterwards.
Hugs to everyone
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