I found the one to one councilling was really good my councillor is amazing she’s helped me so much over the last 2 months and yes it’s been tough at time some of the sessions I’ve just sobbed but she taught me that it’s ok to do that and I shouldn’t suppress it as that’s what I was doing, it was gradually and it took me a while to acknowledge that it’s ok to not be ok all the time, I was able to open up to my youngest daughter who now knows I’m on medication for anxiety and depression she’s now acknowledging that when I’m upset it’s because I’m sad and she actually came and gave me a hug last week the 1st time she’s done that since mum died, so I think we are doing ok I had to push myself to be ok for my girls but I just need that time to get my head straight and I had gone into myself a little in the beginning and let their dad step up and see to them as I couldn’t but I needed to do that because I couldn’t be there for them back then but I am now and I do feel like that very dark cloud that was engulfing me has broken into pieces now so yeah at the moment I do feel like I’m in a better place, how long have you been waiting for the one to one sessions maybe you could chase them up and tell them your group session is ending and you don’t want to be left hanging you always have us as well but you really will benefit from the one to one xx
I feel like I have a stress/anxiety hangover todayl. It’s been quite a week.
How is everyone today?
Weary and teary ! 
Didnt sleep well last night and feel completely sluggish today.
Well I know I’m stressed today, I can feel it in my shoulders. I’m back at work tomorrow on reduced hours, but I’m trying to be positive about it. I need to get into a routine again. My only concern is that my memory is still shocking and my confidence and concentration, I’m hoping it will kick back in as the day goes 
It’s a good step on s**t journey
Take care everyone 
I know what you mean about memory there is stuff I can’t remember at work as I still have a bit of brain fog when I’m using the computer keep having to get someone to remind me probably have to do it again tomorrow when I go in as I can’t remember good luck for tomorrow do some breathing exercises and try and relax if you go in stressed it won’t help xx
I’m not too bad today bit of a headache but I actually slept from about 11.00 to 5.30 this morning can’t remember anything in-between can’t even remember if I got up in the night to go the loo so I’m assuming I slept through xx
Another good step forward 
Just be gentle with yourself. It will be strange at first, but hopefully you will be supported. Rest when you get home. We are here supporting you xx
Thanks so much Becca I really appreciate that
Hope you’re having a brighter day today
I am incredibly tired. The last couple of weeks has caught with me. Been asleep on and off all day.
This might sound really harsh. But a friend from work has message me to say her man is on end of life care after a cardiac event and the same hospital where my mom died.
It’s triggering feelings and I go on holiday tomorrow and don’t want to spend my week hearing about it. I do care, but o need to switch off. My head can’t cope with it
Hi @Becca_d
Although it’s a very sad situation about your friend, you have to think you, and your grief journey. I’m sure your friend will have family and close friends supporing her.
You need to concentrate on enjoying your holiday without worrying about other people who are not related to you.
I hope you enjoy your holiday and your friend will still be there when you return.
Have a lovely time
I have been going over and over stuff in my head about my mom. I can’t get my head around the fact she had cancer. It’s been almost a year since things started to get serious with my mom. After various blood test and a biopsy she was told she had a blood condition called myelodysplasia (pre leukaemia) but was told it was not cancer and just monitored. Well it was a type
Of cancer so that was misleading. Anyway, fast forward to 30th August 2023, she’d been in hospital for 12 days and on day 11 she had a CT scan basically because they did not know what was wrong.
At 12.15pm we were told she has metastatic ovarian cancer, 2 hours later she died. I cannot process this it doesn’t feel real. It was the most traumatic experience and I remember feeling so scared yet having to be strong for my dad. M
Despite this I wish I could do back to this time as I felt in a protected bubble after my mom died.
I know. There are so many different aspects to our losses, trauma being a massive one. 
My counsellor says I most likely have PTSD. We haven’t talked in depth about my grief as I have had work stress going on and been talking through that.
I want my mom to be here, I want to look after her and hold her hand.
Just had a message to go into the office before I start. Feel sick 
You’ll be fine. They probably just want to check in with you before you start. Take a deep breath. Let us know how you get on today x
How did you get on today I hope it went well for you and you were able to relax xx